Hi, friends. I am back with a new story! This story jumps back and forth from present time to the past. I hope it is easy to follow! If it isn't, please let me know! Just be sure to note the time frame above each section, and who's point of view it is. Hope everyone enjoys it :)


TRIS – PRESENT DAY

The loud, shrill noise of my phone ringing pulls me out of my deep sleep. Fumbling, I reach over, unplugging it from the charger to bring it closer to my face. Three text messages and a missed call from Tobias are alarming, especially at midnight. Just as I'm about to call him back, the phone lights up again, the loud noise shocking my still foggy brain.

"Hey," I answer sleepily. "You ok?"

His voice is soft and quiet. "Can I come crash?"

"Yeah," I respond without hesitation. "What's going on?"

"I'll be there in a few," he says quickly before hanging up.

I run my hand through the top of my hair, biting my lip while I debate what possibly could have happened for him to come to my apartment so late at night. Even though sleep is attempting to pull me back to bed, I force myself up and to the bathroom, rinsing my mouth out and splashing water on my face.

Tobias wasn't lying, because it really is just a few minutes before he's at the door, his usually square and rigid shoulders sagging. Even though I hold it open enough for him to enter, he stands still in the doorway for a few more moments, and it's then that I notice the duffle bag draped across his body, seemingly full with belongings.

"I need a place to stay," is all he mumbles, and I reach for his arm and pull him into my apartment, shutting the door behind him.

I watch as he kicks off his shoes and drops his bag before collapsing into the couch.

"I'm really sorry, Tris. I just… shit… I didn't know who else to go to." I watch him run his hands through his hair nervously.

"Tobias, its fine." When I see the stress and strain continue on his face, I jokingly add, "Wouldn't be the first time you showed up in the middle of the night, huh?"

He manages a small smile out of that, but I can tell he's not going to be humorous tonight. Instead, I make my way to the small hallway closet, finding an extra pillow and blanket for him to use on the couch. He looks exhausted, like whatever had him up this late took a toll on his body and mind.

"Want to talk tomorrow?" I pose the question so I'm not just blowing him off, even though I know he needs some space.

Tobias nods in return, beginning to dig through his duffle bag for something to sleep in.

I double check the lock on the front door, ask if he needs anything else, and then make my way back to my bedroom, wondering what information he'll share with me tomorrow.

TRIS—10 years ago

The basement is dark, so dark that I can't make out many faces as I scan the crowd of people surrounding me. The music, so loud I can feel it, is fast and energetic, keeping people dancing and moving. I look down at the sweaty can of beer that Christina thrust into my hand. It's a brand I don't recognize, but pop the top anyways.

I was beyond grateful when Christina landed in the seat next to me in English class two weeks ago, relieving me of the awkwardness that came with sitting alone, and knowing no one. My roommate, Shawna, was a little rough around the edges, and we were struggling to adjust to each other. Christina began to be a slight buffer in between us, her personality so versatile she could navigate a conversation with anyone.

"Have you seen your friend?" Shauna asks as she takes a drink from her own can.

I shake my head, still searching. "Maybe he's not here yet."

Christina, dancing around with a group of random girls, tries to pull Shauna and me towards her, but we refuse.

"I need a few more drinks," Shauna says as she raises her beer to her mouth again.

We chat for a minute, bonding over sharing our first experience at a college party together. Christina, as experienced as she seemed, was new college life too.

I scan the room again, and do a double take as my eyes float past a guy at the bar. Same curly brown hair I remembered, although cut shorter now. His smile as he tosses his head back is genuine and familiar, and boldly, I walk over to the bar.

"What's your name?" I yell over the music when he looks at me.

It takes only a second for his eyes to light up with recognition. "Tris?!" he says excitedly, and then turns to walk around from the behind the bar, enveloping me in an unexpected hug.

"Hey, Tobias," I respond, talking softer now that his arms hold me to him.

There's something about the way he hugs me, how I feel like I fit right against him, but it only lasts a moment.

"It's so crazy that you're here!" he says, his eyes twinkling. "It's been a long time!"

"I know," I answer, thinking about how surprised I had been when he had popped up in my Facebook inbox earlier in the week. Apparently, he'd thought he'd seen me on campus, looked me up on Facebook, and here I was, attending Dauntless University with him. "I was really surprised when you reached out."

Tobias puts a hand on my back as he leans in to answer me. "I couldn't believe it when you responded. It's been a long time since I've made inappropriate jokes in a church, huh?"

I laugh, thinking about some of the ridiculous things Tobias did during our religious education classes we attended together. Our teacher just rolled with his immaturity, but the rest of us had laughed and giggled and tried to suppress our true reactions. He was the highlight of every Tuesday night.

"At least it's been a while since I've witnessed them." I smirk up at him, admiring the way he's grown from the skinny, short kid to a taller, more filled out man.

He shakes his head. "Any time you want to come by here," he gestures to the party around him, "You're welcome to. It's like this every weekend."

I nod, not sure if I could keep up with that type of lifestyle, and wondering if he does. "Thanks. And thanks for the invite tonight."

"Anytime. Like I said, you're always welcome."

TOBIAS-10 YEARS AGO

I pick up my phone, scrolling through my contacts, trying to decide who I should hit up to hang out while I'm home on Christmas break. It's hard to decide who to call when I'm only home for a week, especially when a handful of people always end up bailing on plans anyways.

I pause when my scrolling has reached Tris's name. I don't remember how we exchanged numbers, but we had only texted a couple times since then. A few times I'd invited her to our house for a party, and she usually came with a group of girls, but I never really felt like she was there for me.

It didn't stop me from checking her out from wherever I stood in the basement during a party, whether I was playing music or behind the bar. My eyes always managed to find Tris and often times, I noticed who she was dancing with and felt a small twinge of jealousy inside of me.

Somehow, I feel like fate has played a role. It's been 5 years since I last saw her, in middle school. Even though we'd long since lost touch, it felt so unbelievably normal to hug her when she'd shown up at my house the first time. It was natural, standing with her and conversing, our heads bent together to hear each other over the music. And although we'd never been good friends before, it became simple and easy to send her a text and invite her over, or wrap each other in a hug when we saw each other at a party.

It wasn't that I was enamored with Tris the way I usually was with girls when I met them. I'll be the first to admit I'm easily infatuated, but have never been in love. Instead, there was just something small inside of me that seemed to awaken when I talked to her. She was small, but her presence so large that it couldn't be ignored. And even though she was quiet, watching her dance with her friends was like watching her finally be herself, finally be free, because I knew she was never like that at home.

In a way, we lived very different lives. My father long gone, and raised by a single mother for most of my life, we have always had an extremely close bond. I know I'm a Momma's boy, but feel no shame. Tris, on the other hand, comes from a happy, well to-do family. But there's something under there that I just can't detect yet, and that she hasn't shared.

I tap on her name on the screen, sending her a quick text.

Tobias: Hey, you still in town?

It's a stupid question, because I know she's in town. I noticed a picture on her Facebook today of her and a few high school friends. For some reason, I feel the need to act nonchalant about the possibility of spending time with her.

Tris: Yeah, you?

If I'm lucky, she'll already have plans with her friends, and hopefully I can get her to meet up with me later. At school, there's hardly ever a time that she and I are alone, together. We usually run into each other at parties, and the last thing I want is to drunkenly take her home.

Tobias: For sure. What's going on tonight?

Tris: Heading out with friends.

Tobias: Yeah. About to do the same. Where are you headed?

Her responses are quick, and I wonder if she's interested in all at spending time with me, or if her high school friends are the only ones on her priority list. I can't quite ever be sure, because she's so quiet, with so many underlying feelings inside of her.

Tris: Just a friend's house.

Tobias: Hit me up later. If you want.

She agrees, and I'm hopeful that I'll hear from her later as I dress and head over to my friend's house. His sagging couch welcomes me for the next few hours, but I never end up hearing from Tris again, which disappoints me more than I expect.

TRIS-PRESENT DAY

I don't have an alarm set because it's the weekend, but my body is automatically set to wake up early. I roll over to glance at the time. It's almost 7, early enough to get up and begin a productive day, maybe getting in an early yoga class at the gym. Until I think about Tobias, who's most likely still laying on my couch.

It's been a very long time since I've received a late night message from Tobias, and usually when I did, his intentions did not involve sleeping in separate rooms. But that ended long ago, and here he is, coming to me for something I'm not sure I can help with.

Just as I'm thinking of him, I hear my door slowly pushed ajar, and his head peaks in to see if I'm awake.

"Hey," I say tentatively.

He nods in response. "Hey."

It's only a brief moment where he stands uncomfortably at the end of my bed, and then suddenly he walks around to the side, crashing down and lying next to me. We stay there for a moment, both of us lying on our backs, staring at nothing on the ceiling, when Tobias lets out a deep sigh.

"I told Lauren I need some space."

"What?" My head shoots over in his direction, unsure of the words I've just heard.

He runs a hand down his face, clearly frustrated with the situation. "It's just… it's not what it used to be with her."

I turn my body to face him, unable to tell why he's made this decision or what he could quite possibly by hiding.

"What's different now?" I probe softly, not wanting to upset him.

"It's just… God! I can't even explain it. Like I used to see our flaws in our relationship and they didn't bother me. They weren't the end all, be all. But now… they're growing. They're like, you know when you can feel you're getting a hole in your running shoe? And it's ok at first, kind of comfortable? You keep wearing them… and then one day you just can't take the hole anymore cause it's so worn down, rain is going to get through it. And dirt. And maybe even dog shit."

My eyes widen at his analogy. I never imagined Tobias not feeling pure infatuation with Lauren. From the first time he told me he had feelings for her, I could sense the difference in the way he described them together. It was a way I'd never heard him talk about any woman, and it had caused a part in me to sink down, nervous that she really was going to be the woman he ended up with.

He finally speaks again when I don't respond. "The other day we were arguing about kids. Kids, Tris! We're arguing about kids we don't even have yet!"

"Why were you arguing about kids?" I ask, slightly confused.

Tobias lets out another deep sigh, throwing his hands up. "She started talking about them, saying how she couldn't wait to have kids. I told her we aren't ready. I'm not ready, but I don't think she is either. She just started a new job 4 months ago. She's still traveling and training all the time."

"Did she mean like, today? Have kids that soon?"

He shakes his head and turns to me. "She means like, September 8, we should start trying."

I feel my face fall, doing my best to conceal it. September 8 is the day after what is supposed to be Tobias and Lauren's wedding. A date that I dutifully have marked in my planner because I am Tobias's best friend, but in pencil.

It's not that I don't want him to be happy. I would never hope for his relationship to fail. It's just that a part of me feels that usual pang in my stomach that I've always felt when I hear him talk about women. And others never lasted, so I've never had to worry.

"It's not even that we don't agree!" he continues, frustrated. "It's that I tell her why I think we should wait. I mean, isn't it better for her to maybe have a more stable position at work, with less traveling? It's because I care about her. And all she does in return is make these smart ass remarks. She doesn't care what I think."

I roll back on to my back, bringing the heels of my hands up to my eyes. "I'm sorry, Tobias," is all I can squeak out. I have no answers to his questions after my own failed relationships and desire to be solely single from here on out.

He groans again, and I sit up. "You can stay here as long as you need," I promise him, unable to deny him a safe escape right now. "Couch is all yours," I add, to set a clearly boundary of what this will and will not be.

"Thanks, Tris," he says with a softer, calmer voice, his deep blue eyes piercing into me when I turn to look at him.

The eye contact makes me shiver, remembering all the ways he's looked at me over the past ten years, all the experiences we've shared together. "Go make some coffee," I say as I throw the covers back on my bed. "I have to pee."

I swing my legs onto the floor and I can feel the mattress move as Tobias shifts his weight, sitting as well. As I'm walking to the bathroom door, I hear his deep, sexy voice behind me.

"You still sleep in your underwear, huh?"

I can't help but chuckle and shake my head, laughing at his comment while inwardly, images run through my head of what we used to do when I was in bed in only my underwear.

"Shut up and make some coffee."

TRIS- 9 years ago

"Molly, hurry up," I tell her as we clumsily make our way out of the basement door. "It's freezing."

Molly, drunker and stupid than I am, walks slowly behind me. "Let's get a ride, Tris. It's fucking cold."

I turn around, my arms tucked around my waist. "There's no one here to give us a ride," I remind her. Everyone else is just as drunk as we are.

Molly spins around then, spying Edward and his small group of friends. "Hey!" she yells to get their attention. "Did you drive here?"

Edward nods as his friends approach us. "My buddy did. You need a ride?"

Next to Molly, I shake my head. "No, we're good." It had just been an hour ago that Edward and Molly were drunkenly grinding on each other on the dance floor, inhibitions gone from the cheap vodka they'd tossed back throughout the night. Edward seemed like a nice enough guy from the few times I'd hung out with him, but I had never seen his four friends before. I couldn't even remember their names, let alone know how much they'd drank.

"Yeah," Molly says, tugging on my arm. "We do."

"No." I'm firmer this time. "You've all been drinking."

A guy, tall and lanky, laughs from behind Edward. "So?"

"So we're not going home with you."

Another one chuckles. "I didn't say you could come home with me. We said we'd give you a ride."

"Tris," Edward says, a bit softer than the tones his friends are using. "We're fine to get you home. I promise."

I put a hand up, and begin to back up. "I'm good."

But Molly grabs me, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards her as they all move towards the jeep in the back of the parking lot. "Tris, seriously! Edward says their fine."

"You're wasted," I remind her. "If you want to be stupid, go ahead. I'll walk."

In reality, it's not any safer than getting in the car with them, considering it's at least a mile to the dorms. But I can't shake the weird feeling I get, the creepy way their laughing at my refusal to come.

A few of the guys hop in the car, in the driver's seat and the back, and Edward urges me again to get into the front seat. His hand behind my back, softly pushing me in.

"Stop!" I say with more force than I knew I had in me.

"Tris, get in the fucking car!" Molly yells, her voice full of frustration and disgust at my lack of agreement.

I push Edward away from me and spin, trying to walk away faster than I can in my heeled boots. It's January, the ground is icy, and the wind viciously whips around me. Realizing the danger in walking and the danger in getting in the car, I pull out my phone, hastily searching for Tobias's number. He knew I was going out tonight; I'd talked to him earlier in the day.

I've just hit his number to dial when I feel arms around my waist, Edward's friend pulling me back to get into the car. Molly's next to him holding my arm to lead me in the right direction. "What the fuck?!" I yell.

"Tris?!"

I hear it suddenly, pulling me out of my rage and slight fear, and put the phone to my ear. "Tobias? Can you come get me?"

"Tris! Just get in the car!" Molly yells again, trying to pull me in while the guy holding me lifts me into the back seat.

"What's wrong? Where are you?" I hear the urgency and the worry in his voice.

"The Phi Delt house. Molly's trying to get me to leave with these guys… they're all drunk."

"Don't get in the car, Tris," he says.

I push at the door, opening it harder than Edward's friend had thought, and he stumbles back a little. "Get off of me!" I pull my arm away from Molly, who's still trying to keep me in the car.

Molly's a raging mess, yelling at me to just get a ride, that everyone's fine, and I know the guys are yelling too, even though I can't process their words because all I want to do is get away from them. Vaguely, I realize that Tobias is still talking or yelling into the phone. I'm just not hearing that either as I push my way out of the car and attempt to slam the door behind me. Edward's friend is still standing outside the door, and he puts his hands on my waist to push me back, into the car.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell, forcefully shoving him away. Hastily, I walk to the sidewalk, away from him, hoping he won't follow.

I turn back towards the car and see Edward waving me off while Molly still calls out for me. "You're being stupid, Tris! You can't fucking walk."

"I'll be there in one minute. Don't get in the fucking car, Tris. Stay right there." Tobias's voice snaps me back to reality.

"We're not waiting for her anymore, Molly," someone says, and I see her shake her head.

"Tobias?" I whisper into the phone. "Please hurry."

I can hear the background noise as he starts his car, his answer full of worry. "I am. Stay on the phone."

Molly yells at me one more time, and I can read the look of disappointment and anger on her face. I'm sure she didn't appreciate my refusal when she probably wants to hook up with Edward later, but I don't care. There was something about them… something that didn't quite feel right.

Suddenly the air feels colder than normal as I stand in the parking lot alone. I've had more than enough to drink, but not too much to realize the potential danger of standing in a parking lot alone, in the middle of the night, intoxicated. I'm fully relieved when Tobias's car pulls up in front of me, his soft eyes welcoming as I open the door and enter the warm heat of the car.

"Thanks," I say, slightly embarrassed, mostly grateful.

"You scared the shit out of me, Tris," he confesses, and it's written all over his face.

I've learned in the few months that there is a side to Tobias that very few people get to see. There's the guy he is with his friends and fraternity brothers, and there's the guy that he is with other women. But then there's also someone underneath all of that, someone I've gotten to know fairly well. We don't spend a ton of time together; we usually just happen to run into each other. But there's some sort of inner connection that we both can't deny is there.

"Molly's so stupid. We could have walked… but she can't go a night without getting some ass." I lean my head against the cool window, wondering if Molly really is safe with the guys that took her home.

"I'm glad you called me," he says with a friendly pat on my leg before turning down the street to head to campus.

"Thanks, Tobias." I sit up, unbuckling myself, and dig into my pockets for my keys. "Fuck…" I groan, realizing Molly had our dorm room key in her wristlet. "My keys. Molly has my keys."

Tobias shakes his head and chuckles before turning down a side street. "It's ok. We can just go to my place."

"Aren't you having a party tonight?" I ask.

He glances down at what he's wearing and I notice he's in sweats and a hooded sweatshirt. "Not me," he says with a laugh. "I've been in my room."

"Why?" I wonder, not realizing he was ever one to miss out on a get together.

He shrugs. "I was hoping you'd come by, after we talked earlier… but you seemed pretty set with your plans."

I giggle and shake my head. "You barely even mentioned it to me. You just said you were having people over."

"And that meant that you could come." He gives me a look, as if it's ridiculous I didn't read that earlier.

"You didn't say that," I mumble back, pissed at my lack of guy skills. I'd much rather have been at Tobias's house.

He shakes his head. "Come on, Tris. Why would I tell you about a party if you weren't invited? Am I really that big of an asshole?"

I offer up a slight, one shouldered shrug and snarky smile. "Maybe."

We pull up to the house a minute later, and we're immediately enveloped in the cold once we're outside of the car. He leads me up the front walk, which is covered in ice and slippery snow, and I grip his arm as we make our way to the door, my boots sliding at every step. I can't help but giggle and Tobias laughs along with me, my inability to walk extremely entertaining.

When we get inside, I can hear the basement music thumping, but Tobias leads me straight up the stairs. I remember being up here before, briefly and casually, but I can feel that this is different.

"Are you tired?" he asks as he drops his belongings onto a night stand.

"Exhausted," I admit as I turn around, remembering how high his bed is. He'd build a mid-size loft to give him extra storage underneath, but apparently didn't realize that shorter people, like myself needed stairs. Or a step stool.

I stand at the bed, defeated, while I try to imagine myself catapulting onto it gracefully. Instead, Tobias comes up from behind, boosting me up so I can climb onto the mattress, making my way to the other side.

I suddenly realize how incredibly awkward this is, wearing my clothes in Tobias's bed while he pulls off his sweatshirt and drops down his sweats, climbing in next to me in his boxers and T shirt.

"Tris? You can... you know… get more comfortable."

"Are you asking me to undress, Tobias?" I joke, trying to sound casual. Being in a bed with him, some of his clothes removed, sparks a feeling in my stomach that I know I've felt before with him. I've felt it when his hug lingers on me, when he puts an arm around me while we talk, whenever we share physical contact.

"Come here," he says, his voice softer and simpler, his hands reaching for the button on my jeans.

Without thinking, my body is suddenly closer to his, and I feel his hand run around to my butt, giving it a light squeeze before moving back to my button and popping it open, followed by pushing the zipper down.

"Where's Myra?" I ask more breathily that I intend.

"Does it matter?" he asks. "She's not here."

"Isn't she your girlfriend?" I already know the answer is no. He'd gone out with her a couple times, and I know he's hooked up with her. But he'd confessed to me after their first date that she was more the type of girl you have fun with, not the one you commit to.

"Um. No." he says flatly. "I haven't talked to her in weeks."

His hand slips down the front of my pants, rubbing my leg softly before slipping to the back, grabbing my ass.

"You have a great ass, Tris," he says, and I feel my stomach drop.

"Thanks?" I respond somewhat awkwardly, not sure of what is going on.

Tobias laughs, and begins pushing my pants down my legs. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable without them."

I nod. Sure he did.

We lie there for a moment, facing each other, his hand running from my ass, to my back, to my stomach, and returning to thighs. His fingers are electric, waking up parts of my body I've never noticed could feel this way.

I feel his hand creep up my shirt, and he pauses, briefly. "You ok?"

Swallowing, I nod. I know that I've thought about this before, as his hand creeps up higher until he's massaging my breasts through my bra. The softness of his hands, the way he's taking his time… it's more than I ever thought this would be like with him.

The liquor flowing through me is partially what's making me act so bold, but I also secretly wonder if this will be my only opportunity to be with him, like this. I've danced around my attraction to him for the past year, but he's never made a move on me before. And even though there have been times where I've wondered if he looks at me as more than a friend, I've never been sure, and he's never been forward.

I reach my hand out to cover the bulge in his boxers, and am surprised by how it fills my hand. But a part of me is dying to satisfy him, to know if my touch feels as good as his.

Before I know it I'm on top of him, straddling him. I ache at the feeling of him between my legs, while his hands roam my upper body before removing top and bra.

"Damn, Tris…" he breathes. "You are so sexy." He pulls me down to him to make my body more accessible, his lips latching on.

I release a moan I wasn't expecting, grinding myself against his dick. Tobias sucks in a breath as well, not stopping what he's doing until he rolls me over so he's on top. His hand slips inside my underwear and between my legs, causing me to arch my back as he slips them inside of me. I can't help but simultaneously reach to free him from his underwear.

And after that, it's all a mesh of feelings and electrifying touches and my mind is going so fast, I can't separate my thoughts.