Michelle Malkin, Milo Turk and Anne Coulter charged in vicious Absecon love triangle attack.

Absecon New Jersey March 2010;

Former 2008 American Idol contestant Milo Turk was charged with petty disorderly conduct in Absecon Municipal Court Monday the 15th.The estranged husband of political columnist Michelle Malkin pleaded "guilty with an explanation". Turk had attempted to lure Ann Coulter (author commentator and Ms Malkins long-time companion) onto the thinly iced Heritage Park Turk had assured Ms Coulter the ice was thick and the cracking sounds were from nearby park Works foreman William Steiner told this reporter Mr Turk had removed thin ice warning signs.

Ms Malkin was not present during the start of this confrontation ,but was shopping at the legendary former Absecon Beach Camp (now a antique store)Ms Malkin stated she was informed of what was transpiring by personal friend Terry Dolan (city administrator and Tea-Party organizer)

Ms Malkin then stated in her deposition that she proceeded to the lake even as the charge on her segway was waning and almost her arrival Mr Turk called out to Malkin pleading with her to reconsider Malkin ignored Turks forlorn howlings and used her i-pad to e-mail the Absecon Fire Department about the situation and to bring a net.

Police then arrived and stated Turk continually related to Malkin their first kiss at Marsh own local favorite grunge band "The Malkin Experience""He began sobbing" said Mayor Peter C. Elco."He described their engagement right after graduation from Pleasantville High School and their honeymoon at Atlantis Casino"

Coulter remained calm during this tirade by Turk but began to become agitated when Turk jumped up and down on the ice threatening to drown them both."Stop it Milo!"Coulter shrieked."I'll sink straight down! I'm wearing my moneybelt!"The ice began to crack but refroze after the touch of Coulter's penis.

"Use one of your shoes as a canoe Anne honey! Row to shore!"exclaimed Malkin as she ran towards the now partially submerged Coulter.

Police and ambulances arrived and took all parties in for examination.

Turk was given the "full Limbaugh" said EMT Peter White."That's valium,oxycotin and an adult diaper" "Mr Coulter was really p.o'ed but mostly o.k…just some blue balls when we took his dress off"

Malkin and Coulter later agreed not to press substantial charges .If Turk agreed to seek psychiatric assistance and also to not be interviewed by the press.

{reporter Mal Aire}