Naked Woman


A/N: This is written for a Tumblr anon request who was tired of the lack of Marshall/Lily smut. This was really hard to write while watching tweets pop up about how they are all going to miss Jason. Again, warning on the NSFW, because this is definitely a big bowl of pornflakes.


"Oooo! You dropped a Cheeto on his lap and when you reached for it he thought you were making a move so you just went with it."

"Well thank you for ruining the memory of our six month anniversary."

"You got me Cheetos."

-Lily and Marshall, the Naked Man


This whole night they've been talking about the real reasons to have sex. He didn't understand anything about the conversation. Maybe it's because he's only ever been with her. She's his only sexual experience whatsoever. The only other boobs he's ever touched were by accident, or his mother's. It's not like he can even empathize with Barney or Ted. He has no idea what it's like to have sex for other reasons. For him, it's only ever been about love.

Just some of the things that Lily came up with appalled him. And that was tame to the stuff that Robin said. It's just one of the ways she's so similar to Barney. Sex is almost only about the good bang for her.

So when he finds Lily doing the naked man in the living room, he can sort of get it. Sex is sex. Yes, it might not be about love at first, but he still gets to do it, and the after part, that's always about love. He's not quite ready to admit defeat.

"You just want to do it to change the subject," he mumbles accusingly.

"Yeah," she admits, sighing, before a happy realization spreads over her face. "Hey, that's number 49. Did it work?" she asks.

"It's like I just flossed," he admits begrudgingly.

"I love you," she says. She can't help it. Even when he says something like that, she can't help but smile as his pout of annoyance.

"That's fifty," he smiles.

"Oh yeah!" she exclaims, happy that he's finally playing along. "Wanna do it on the couch?"

"Actually, I was thinking about the kitchen."

"Oooo!" she moans in agreement. He closes the gap between them, reaches around behind her, picking her up in a fireman hold, and kissing her while carrying her in the kitchen.

He plops her on the Island in the kitchen and backs away to strip his clothing off as fast as possible. He grabs his shirts by the neck and pulls them off of his head, while kicking off his shoes and socks. He sneaks a quick glance at Lily, who has her hand between her legs warming herself up for him. He watches in awe for a moment, still entirely speechless at his incredible wife, even after thirteen years. He throws his shirts off in the direction of the fridge and unbuckles his belt as fast as he can.

She loves when they do it in the kitchen. He's always much more enthusiastic when they are outside the bedroom, and sometimes, mama needs it that way. Right now, mama needs it good and hard. And even though Marshall's more a fan of the sweet stuff, she knows he can pull off rough extremely well. Frankly she even thinks they as a couple might be even kinkier than Barney. Yeah, he talks a good game, but there is no way that Barney would be able to talk his bimbos into some of the stuff she lets Marshall do to her.

But tonight is all about fast and hard, and not about any of their toys.

As he watches her play with her pussy, he can't help but notice she's so wet for him already. All he wants to do is get his pants off so he can bury himself in his sexy wife.

His pants end up flying in a different direction than his shirts as he heads for the kitchen drawer that they have condoms stashed in for this very occasion. He reaches the drawer with lightning speed, not wanting to wait another second. He quickly pulls one out, rips the package open, and rolls it onto his cock.

He not immune to Lily's mewing from across the room, and he has fight the urge to run right over to her and slam into her so hard that she doesn't know what hit her. He goes for the close second, walking briskly over to her, and teasing her, playing around in her shallow end before he dives in deep.

She moans in response to feeling him near her. She wants him now. She wants him inside of her more than anything.

He grabs her thighs and pulls her hips slightly off of the counter, so he can move her to fit her perfectly against him. Plus, the last time they did this, she was a little to far into the counter, and it was not nearly as fun to have his balls hit the countertop with every stroke. There will be none of that here tonight. He doesn't want anything slowing them down.

She opens herself up with her hand and helps guide him inside, so he can keep his strong, sexy hands on her hips.

As he sheathes himself in her, he lets out a sigh, while she moans in pleasure. He takes a moment to appreciate her and just how lucky he is to have her before he caves in and starts pounding her hard.

Lily, who is quite impatient and ready for a good hard fuck, starts rolling her hips, trying to make him crazy so he gives in and starts moving. He feels it, and it does drive him crazy. He's ready to give her what she wants though.

He slowly, very slowly pulls out of her, until he's almost out, then slams into her as hard as possible. She screams in a mixture of pain and pleasure, which only motivates him to do it again. The angle of it, the angle of her to him, only makes it feel even more amazing. He pulls out again, and her blood starts racing with excitement, going to all the places that feel amazing, before she's hit with another slam.

He keeps the slow but steady pace, loving the difference between the cool air and her warmness.

But she gets to a point that she can't take it anymore. She picks her hands up from the counter, and reaches up to his nipples. He's so focused on her body, that when she pinches them hard on his way out of her, he jerks and slams right back in. He opens his eyes to stare at her, and she grins sinisterly.

Well, two can win at this war, he thinks. He removes his hands from his hips and moves them straight to her small perky nipples. He tweaks them, as he picks up the pace, starting to slam in and out at a more even speed.

"Oh yeah Marshall!" she moans. She starts writhing, not being able to control the pleasure taking over her body. He loves it when she gets to this point. She's none other than a sex goddess, sent for him and only him.

He continues to slam into her, loving the way her thumbs are playing at his nipples. It's very quickly becoming overwhelming; the sight, the sound, even the smell of her.

The harder he fucks her, the harder it is for her to stay still. Things feel so good and hot and wet. She's close, and she needs more.

"Harder, Marshall, harder!" she screams, begging for more, and more now. And he can't help but oblige. He wants it harder too.

He's pounding into her with full force, listening to every very vocal moan, but he's so close. Almost too close. He needs to see her come first.

She's so close. She can feel it almost everywhere, from her toes to her fingertips. All she needs is something to push her over the edge. Marshall must have sensed this, because before she knows it, he's pinching her nipples and pulling them upward, hard. And she's losing it, losing whatever semblance of control she had left, her back arching up off of the counter, her toes curling and legs wrapping around him, pulling him into her to feel his full length.

He sees her start to tremble, and he knows that was just what she needed to let go. He slams quickly a few more times before finally letting go himself, convulsing in her and with her. Their bodies move together, almost programmed as one, as they ride out the waves of ecstasy together.

He collapses forward, pulling her into a bear hug, as their breathing slows. She wraps her arms around him to tenderly massage his neck.

"I love you, Lilypad," he mumbles into her neck.

"I love you too, Marshmallow," she returns. She strokes his neck a few more times before asking, "Still think the naked man is stupid?"

"Not at all."