Free... They are all, finally free...
"Tohru? Are you there?" called a voice from deeper within the house. Tohru looked up from the soup she was cooking. She contemplated whether or not to answer. Tohru knew what was coming, she knew she could not stop it, but she felt compelled to try. She determined that answering would buy her more time then keeping quiet; Shiguru would come out to find her in a few minutes anyway if she didn't.
"Uhhh, umm... ye-yes I'm here! Just a minute..." Tohru replied shakily, gathering up not only courage but her cooking supplies. She would bring them dinner. Dinner took Shiguru and Hatori time to eat, and she wanted all the precious time she could steal from them. She turned towards the cabinet to grab bowls and utensils, lost in thought.
Strength... Mother had strength... I need that strength, it can not end like this. I'm not the same babbling, jittery Tohru that I used to be. After all that has happened... Mother don't let me forget!
Wiping away the budding tears in her eyes, Tohru picked up her dinner/diversion and walked towards Shiguru's room. It was true, the Tohru of a week ago would not have the courage to endure this torture. However, a lot had happened in the past week.
The short hallway leading from the Sohma house kitchen, which usually took no time at all for her to walk, seemed to last an eternity to Tohru. Still lost in thought, she maneuvered her way slowly towards Shiguru's room, silently blaming her speed (or lack there of ) on having to avoid spilling the soup. Being careful was a good excuse. She couldn't help feeling that this was close to what delivering an offering to the gods must have felt like for her ancestors. Silently praying those very same ancestors would come and help her now, she turned the corner.
As she passed Yuki's room, a wave of nostalgia washed over her. Yuki, the suffering rat. She loved him differently then she loved the other zodiac animals. How could she not see him in a new light? Tohru had helped to free him from the curse just the same as the other zodiac animals, but seeing Yuki's smile afterwards... There just isn't any words to explain how purely blissful he seemed.
Next came the many rooms she cleaned each day for years. She cleaned each room carefully, grateful that the Sohma family had taken her in. They shared their secrets with her. Secrets that most people would never be able to understand, let alone keep.
Giggling through her tears, she remembered fondly singing her song as she cleaned. The song. Approximately one year ago, Tohru estimated, Kyo had shocked her once again by revealing his talent for music. As corny as the song may have been, it wasn't when Kyo sang it. He actually meant every word, and that's what made Tohru smile the most. She remembered his exact words that night as they sat on the roof top, looking at the stars:
"Cats always had a bad rap as fuzballs that sit on the fencepost and yowl. I've always wanted desperately to break that mold..." This was the part where Kyo started to get a little nervous. "I... well... I sort of wrote... this... well, yeah.". Kyo, blushing slightly, began to strum softly on the guitar and sing her a song.
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
Tohru believed that this was the exact moment when she began to fall for Kyo, and the thought made her blush even to this day. This memory sparked others in her mind as Tohru walked down the hallway. Memories of visiting Rin in the hospital, going with Kyo to see Shishou at the dojo, laughing with Kisa, and sleeping next to Momiji at the Sohma summer home, listening to Yuki speak to her in his garden... Why does it have to end today?
Tears flowed freely from her eyes now. She knew what was coming, she couldn't avoid it, and she couldn't change it. Somehow, from the beginning it was obvious to her that it would end this way. Hatori was going to erase her memories, but he was going to have to fight her for every last shred of consciousness she had. If it killed her, she would remember the Sohma family zodiac, she would remember her song, she would remember Kyo.
Once again praying for courage, she stepped slowly into Shiguru's room. She needed more time, just a little more time.
"Tohru! There you are," Shiguru said softly as he stood up to help her with the soup. "You brought us dinner? Why thank you. Two intellectuals such as Hatori and I can become quite hungry when important matters are to be discussed. Would you sit and dine with us?"
Tohru could hear that flirtatious tone to his voice and responded in her usual way. "Uhhh... Sh-Shiguru-sensei, yes ummm... b-but I have a few th-things to do around the house, I'll come back uhh... later." Some things never change, no matter how much growing up a person has done in the past week.
Hatori said hello to her casually enough and began eating, leaving the conversation to Shiguru. He had never been one to chit-chat. He trusted Shiguru to let Tohru know she was not to leave just yet. They had some business to attend to, and by delaying it, she was only hurting herself.
"Surely Tohru, come back in thirty minutes. Is a half hour enough time for you to 'do things around the house?'" Shiguru knew what she needed to do. He also saw no need to rush the memory suppression process. After all, Shiguru was not like Hatori.
"Yes, thank you Sensei" Tohru replied, relieved that she did not have to argue, or worse, run off without explaining herself. Before he changed his mind, Tohru turned and left the room.
The roof. Tohru thought quietly to herself as she climbed the worn ladder that always seemed to be sitting out for her at exactly the right time. Kyo left it out for her. He'll be on the roof. I need to see him one more time. I know that Yuki will understand, and Momiji and Kisa will cope, and Rin and Kagura and Hatsuharu... the others will all be okay together. But Kyo... Tohru just could not leave him behind. The last week has been hectic. She knew that none of the zodiac was back from the main house yet. They were dealing with tying up the "loose ends" as they called it. But Kyo would be home tonight, she was sure of it.
As Tohru stepped onto the roof, she let out a sigh of relief. He was there. Kyo was home. She walked over to him and silently sat beside him. Tohru couldn't help but notice the grace and power that seemed to radiate from his body. He was truly beautiful, with slightly long, orange hair and strong features. His often hard eyes and reserved appearance intrigued Tohru. There was always a deepness to those eyes, and a reason behind his every movement.
"Hatori's here" Tohru said, breaking the silence, "I only have half an hour left. I think they are going to suppress my memories." Kyo flinched slightly, or was it just a flicker of moonlight gracing his face through the treetops? Tohru was never sure.
The two were silent for a long time, perhaps 5 minutes. A long time on Tohru's watch. Every last second counted.
"Can... may I..." Kyo said suddenly, surprising Tohru enough to make her jump. Kyo sensed her insecurity and pulled back a little as well. He did not mean to scare her. It seemed that all he did was hurt people. He didn't want to hurt her; she was special.
"Forget it..."' Kyo murmured and stood up so that he could look at her properly. He knew she would follow suit. He gazed at her, thinking about all they had been through and how she had changed him. Kyo admired more then her beautiful figure and sparkling eyes in the moonlight. He loved her heart as well.
"No," she retaliated, grasping desperately for contact with him before it all disappeared, "What is it?"
Kyo fought with himself inside. What if I hug her and it doesn't work? What if the curse was only broken for the true zodiac animals?
I can't hurt her, I'll die if I hurt her, but I can't let her go just yet. Kyo thought to himself. He decided that thinking was not what he was meant to do right now. He let instinct take over as he reached down and grabbed hold of her softly. It was his first true hug.
Tohru was stiff at first, but gradually relaxed in Kyo's strong arms. She knew she felt safe here, in his arms. Closing her eyes, Tohru realized how important this embrace was to someone who had never hugged a girl outside of his family before. She hugged him tighter, willing him silently to never let go.
Kyo breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't transformed and she had not pulled away. This was the best case scenario. He let his instincts take over again as he began to sway softly back and forth with her in the moonlight. Humming at first, Kyo eventually began to sing tenderly in her ear.
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
She wasn't sure quite when she started to cry, but Tohru knew she could not hold back the tears any longer. This surprised Kyo. The last thing he wanted her to do was cry.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Was it the song? You said you liked it... I won't sing anymore." Kyo stopped suddenly, unsure of what to say. He relaxed his grip on her small frame. Had she always been this fragile and beautiful?
Tohru looked up at him with large eyes, smiling through the tears that would be contained no longer. "No, y-you didn't hurt me, I'm just so happy. I want to remember this, Kyo. I want to remember my song, my new family, and most of all, I want to remember y..."
Tohru never got to finish that sentence. He kissed her softly at first then with increasing passion. This was a shock at first for Tohru, she had never been kissed before. Somehow, however, she could feel it. She knew this was right and surrendered herself to him. She knew this was Kyo's first kiss as well, and wanted to share every minute she had left with him, just like this.
Kyo gently stopped the kiss for just long enough to knock Tohru lightly on the head. "You know... sometimes, Tohru, you can be such an air head. Listen to your lyrics. No matter what happens, I'll always be there for you! I... uhh..."
Kyo silently cursed his rapidly beating heart. Why did it have to pick up speed now of all times?
"Tohru, I... well, I really... l-lo..."
Blushing uncontrollably now, he turned his head away and took a deep breath. It was at this moment that Tohru decided to return the favor, she took his face in her hands and turned him back to face her. His bright orange eyes were questioning, but before he had time to speak, she moved closer to him and brushed his hair lightly away from his eyes.
She kissed him lightly at first, then passionately. Just as he had moments before. Pulling back softly, she looked into his wide, orange eyes.
"I know, Kyo... Me too."
Holding her closely, they swayed in the moonlight. Tohru wished for more time to spend with Kyo, and Kyo wished for a miracle. He wished she would remember.
"Tohru?" called a voice from within the house, "It's time."
Shiguru... Tohru thought. She had almost forgotten, in the heat of the moment, why she was here. She needed to say goodbye. All she could do was try to save her memories... if it didn't work... She needed the peace that saying goodbye brought. She needed to tell him she loved him.
He sensed her tighten in his soft embrace. Gently, he pulled her chin so that he could look into her sad eyes. Eyes the pleaded with him to make it all go away. He hated to be so helpless, to have no control.
"I won't ever forget you Tohru. Remember your song... wait, well..." Oh... why did I have to say that! I'm going to make her feel bad.
"I won't forget either Kyo. I can't. I'm going to try... I never want to forget you." She began to cry again, unable to hold back the rush of emotions.
Kyo kissed her one last time, and wiped the tears from her eyes. And sent her towards the ladder. He called out to her as she walked away. "I can't stop them from wiping your memories. Even if I tried, they would only wipe them later, when I couldn't protect you. I...uh..." There goes my heart again... He thought to himself. "I really do l-love you Tohru."
She slowly climbed down the ladder, simultaneously wiping the tears from her eyes. The last thing she heard before entering the house was Kyo, singing her song. His voice was loud and he sang for all to hear; he sang to the moon.
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
Time Passes...
"Sit up now Tohru, this won't hurt, but it is easier if you're sitting upright. Right Hatori my dear?" Shiguru grinned lightly as he pointed to Tohru's bed. His experiment was going nicely, all according to plan.
Tohru sat down without speaking as Hatori glanced away from her. He hated to do this to her, he lost someone he loved through memory suppression. Just as she was about to lose Kyo, he lost his wife.
As Shiguru continued to jabber on, Tohru was lost within herself, she was gathering strength, strength she scarcely believed she had. Over and over she sang to herself, burning the words into her head. She pictured Kyo. She saw him under the starlight night as he was five minutes ago, she saw him as the Cat, and she saw him as the one that she loved.
It was then, as she was lost in her own thoughts that Hatori chose to wipe her mind. By prolonging it, or letting her plead as he knew she would, it would only leave a deeper scar in her heart. He brought his hand swiftly up to her forehead, and she was gone.
It's so dark in here... It's cold. Why is it so cold? Kyo! Kyo will keep me warm, I must remember... I must remember him.
Tohru was battling her mind now, willing Kyo's picture to stay. Willing the Sohma to stay with her. She had collapsed onto her bed, and seemed to be lost in a sleep. Hatori and Shiguru walked out of the room. The Sohma were all still at the main house. They would not interfere. Kyo though, he would be restrained in the morning. They would come back and reassure Tohru when she woke up that she had hit her head. Hatori, who had found her laying in the woods, had taken her in to rest the night. That was the story Tohru would be fed. Or not? Shiguru thought. He chuckled to himself and shut her door.
So dark... Y-yuki? Where are you going? Wait... no... what did I just call you... no! Your name, the... the rat, your name? No... I'm losing them. The... Sohma. Sohma? Who... no... I'm supposed to remember. I have to remember! Tohru became desperate, trying hysterically to grasp at the pictures and words that seemed to be migrating farther into the darkness that surrounded her.
No, Don't go... my heart... I... Feeling the void in her heart begin to widen as her memories swirled away, Tohru helplessly felt years of her life slip away like water in a stream.
Kyo... Yes! I remember Kyo! Orange, stars. He had orange... orange something? WHY! NO... c-come back. K... Kyo? Yes... I must remember, Kyo, orange, stars... song? NO! MY SONG! My... Can't you see... uhhh... watching over you... No... d-don't leave me, please don't take away... take... take my, my...
Tohru's frantic sobs went unheard to all but herself. The terror she felt continued to consume her, much like the darkness consumed her precious memories. Eventually, she even forgot why she was terrified. Now, there was nothing but calm. Calm, and a large hole in her heart. She was vaguely aware of a deep sense of loss, but she couldn't place it.
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
Singing? Tohru thought. Someone is singing. It's a pretty song. He must love that girl very much, whoever he is. Why is it so familiar? I think I know this...
Tohru's eyes fluttered open and she looked around the unfamiliar room. A boy with vibrant, peculiar orange hair was singing softly and playing guitar. He paused his playing every once and awhile to wipe tears that threatened to run down his strikingly beautiful face, but he never stopped singing.
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
Over and over he sang, never once glancing in her direction; he stared at the stars. To Tohru, is seemed he was looking at them with longing, like he was wishing on them. Tohru watched him for a long time, eventually she began to cry as well. Why am I crying. She thought, I don't understand, this song. It's... so familiar.
"TOHRU!" the boy suddenly cried out, "Tohru, do you remember me? You're crying... do you remember? Tohru... please remember me... It's me, Kyo. That was your song. I wrote it for you. I wrote it after I went grocery shopping with you! I went to your highschool! I visited Shishou with you! I sat with you in the moonlight! On the roof! I... You... you broke the curse Tohru! I love you! Remember... please remember..."
Tohru was stunned. This boy... Kyo, he loved her? When did she meet this boy? She couldn't ever remember him. But his name... it was so familiar.
"W-wait a minute, I'll sing it for you again... you'll remember Tohru. I know you will." the boy, Kyo, said to her. He began to sing again. This time, Tohru realized how familiar the song really was... Relentlessly, Kyo sang the chorus over and over, glancing up to her every few seconds. It took him five minutes of straight singing to realize that the confusion in her eyes meant he had lost. He couldn't help her, he couldn't make her remember. He stopped playing and looked at her, pleading silently to blank eyes.
Tohru, sensing an opportunity to talk to the poor boy, stood up and walked over to him. He was sitting gracefully on a light colored dresser under a window that let in the soft moonlight. He was panting, out of breath from crying and singing. As she walked over to him, he stood up and looked at her, still with that extreme look of sadness that melted her heart. It all looked so familiar.
"I-I don't know who you are... I'm so sorry. Can't I do something? I feel that I s-should know yo-"
She never finished that sentence either. He leaned in and kissed her. Briefly, she recognized the familiarity of this simple action before she let herself become absorbed in the kiss. It was soft, and conveyed a sense of belonging and love. Kyo slid his arms around Tohru slowly and broke the kiss so that he could sway in the moonlight and sing to her, as he had only hours before.
"J-just let me say goodbye... I... I'm so sorry Tohru, I love you..."
Tohru felt his body swaying against hers and his hair, damp with tears brush her cheek. She didn't understand why she felt like this wasn't the way it was meant to be, why this felt so wrong. She couldn't remember...
Remember... remember what? Tohru thought. She tried thinking this out. Kyo... Kyo is his name... Orange? His hair, it's so beautiful in this starlight... Stars? Kyo... Orange... Stars... the song. That's, that's my song! Wait, no, Kyo S... oh, my head...
"Tohru? TOHRU!" Kyo cried as she went limp in his hug. He picked her up into his strong arms and placed her gently on her bed, praying she was okay. Her memory didn't matter as long as she was okay.
I'm here again? Oh... But it's so dark here. I miss the light. I miss... Kyo? Wait... KYO! No, not again... I... I need to remember something, something about Kyo... Y-yuki... ohh.. S... what is it... It's so cold here... wait, so... SOHMA! Oh! I... I remember. My song... Hatsuharu... Kisa... I remember them all. I remember it all...
Tohru had been lying there, unconscious, for hours it seemed. Then again, it could have only been five minutes, Kyo wasn't sure. He had sat back on the dresser in front of the window, opting to stay off of Tohru's bed. She was sleeping again; she had , strumming relentlessly on his His voice was sore and he felt his throat closing up, but he never stopped singing
Can't you see me watching over you?
I will never leave your side
I keep you always in my heart
Your smile keeps me alive.
"K-kyo-kun?" Tohru said weakly below him. He snapped his attention away from the setting moon to look at her.
"Tohru! Tohru, d-do you remember... you remember me? Please..."
"Kyo... I did, I remember Kyo. It was my song." Tohru sighed softly and smiled up at her boy, her Kyo.
"I knew you would."
