"Kiss me," the man whispered.

The other man looked away, his eyes glistening with tears. "I can't. It's forbidden."

The man grabbed the other's shoulders and-

"OIKAWA."

"Oh shit shit shit," muttered Oikawa Tooru, more to himself than anything. "Iwa-chan's back." He fumbled around for the remote, but -

The door slammed open just as the men kissed passionately.

Iwaizumi took one look at the TV and his face reddened. "Asskawa, what the hell? Why do you like watching trashy romance so much?"

"It's not trashy," Oikawa defended his favorite TV show. "You see, it's about these two guys, Taiga and Tadashi. One of them is actually an alien from outerspace - Taiga - but Tadashi already fell in love with him by the time he found out. And - "

"Does this look like someone who cares?" said Iwaizumi, snatching the remote.

"So mean, Iwa-chan! I was watching that! Tadashi had just found out about - "

"SHITHEAD OIKAWA, IT'S YOUR TURN TO CLEAN OUR HOUSE."

Oikawa muttered and he whined, but he got his butt off the sofa and took the broomstick from Iwaizumi.

"Sweep, sweep, sweep…"

Oikawa was bored out of his mind.

"Don't forget to dust all the counters!" called Iwaizumi from the living room.

"Stupid Iwa-chan," wailed Oikawa, clawing at his hair. "They were just about to kiss! It was going to be so amazing!"

"If you want to watch something, watch volleyball tapes," said Iwaizumi loud enough for Oikawa to hear. "We need to join a new team soon, REMEMBER? There's no time to watch horrible cheesy romances."

Oikawa didn't respond to this, choosing instead to give Iwaizumi the silent treatment, as he wondered what would have happened with Tadashi and Taiga. Ugh, now he had to watch reruns or look up spoilers on one of his many social medias. His twitter friends might just tell him if Tadashi and Taiga got further than second base…Oikawa sighed, lost in his thoughts.

He dropped the broom and sat down at the kitchen table, yawning. I want a romance like that. I wonder if Iwa-chan has any alien friends? He sniggered at the thought. He'd have to ask Hajime that later, if only to see his reaction.

"Oi. Trashkawa."

Oikawa opened his eyes, not having realized they were closed before then. "Iwaaaaa-chan?"

A ball was immediately thrown at his head. "You didn't finish cleaning, you asshole."

"Iwa-chan."

"Asskawa."

"Why did you make me turn the show off?"

Iwaizumi froze, before regaining his composure. "Because you had to clean, dumbass!"

"Does romance make you uncomfortable?"

The broom was promptly thrown at Oikawa's head.

"That hurt, Iwa-chan…please can we clean later?" Tooru looked at Iwaizumi with big, pleading eyes. Most people would call them Puppy Eyes. Oikawa called them Alien Eyes. Iwaizumi called them BRATKAWA TAKE THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE.

But Iwaizumi never COULD resist the Alien Eyes. Oikawa always looked cute, but he looked cutest with the big, pleading eyes and both Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew it.

"Fine," relented Iwaizumi.

"IWA-CHAN, THANK YOU!" Oikawa bounded off to the living room.

"Thank you?" muttered Iwaizumi. "Dumbass."

He followed after Oikawa, immediately regretting it.

Oikawa had seen the TV screen by then; the TV screen that Iwaizumi didn't have the heart to turn off, because Oikawa would probably summon aliens from outerspace and have them kill Iwaizumi for it. Not.

"Iwa-chan, you didn't even turn it off! Were you watching?"

"NO," muttered Iwaizumi. "You know I hate all kinds of romance."

"But yesterday was Valentine's Day, Iwa-chan! Are you telling me you didn't enjoy seeing me getting handmade chocolates from girls?"

"That's right. It made me throw up actually."

"So mean," muttered Oikawa, before flinging himself onto the sofa, and lying down to watch the trashy romantic angst.

Oikawa was beautiful. Everyone knew it; girls knew it, boys knew it, Oikawa's parents knew it. He was beautiful because of his relaxed composure, because of his pretty brown hair that girls raked their hands through.

But no one but Iwaizumi knew this level of Oikawa's beauty. When Oikawa's eyes shone, when he leaped up wearing a genuine smile.

When he was with Iwaizumi, watching crappy alien movies.

Iwaizumi perched himself up on the sofa arm, next to Oikawa, who was leaning forward with excitement. "Iwa-chan," he whispered. "They really love each other."

Iwaizumi swallowed. "Don't say that so casually, dumbass," snapped Iwaizumi. "They'll just break up in a couple of days."

"They won't," said Oikawa. "They love each other."

Iwaizumi couldn't bring himself to argue with the setter. Not when he was so happy, because he got to watch another horribly trashy romance.

"Iwa-chan," he said.

"Oikawa?"

"Do you have any cute alien friends?"

"What? Idiot! No!"

"That's really a shame," said Oikawa, sitting up and flashing a peace sign at Iwa-chan. "This show really makes me want someone like Taiga. We can watch sci-fi movies, and he'd talk to me when I was bored, even if he didn't want to. He'd play volleyball with me and tell me to stop when I need to. He'd kiss my wounds." Oikawa's voice turned serious. "We could laugh together. We could argue, and then we could make up. Maybe he could shoo my annoying fangirls away."

"Dumbass, I already do that. You don't need a boyfriend for that. Or a girlfriend."

"I want one, though," Oikawa whined. "Iwa-chan?"

"Yes?" snapped Iwaizumi, glancing at the TV screen which was currently showing another kiss.

"Can I kiss you?"

Iwaizumi choked on his own spit. "What? Did I mishear you?"

"I want someone like you, Iwa-chan," said Oikawa casually. "Maybe someone a little less mean, who likes watching romantic movies with me, and listening to my K-Pop music. But you'll do."

"Excuse me?"

"The storyline in this movie is really beautiful, Iwa-chan," said Oikawa. "They're in love."

He pulled the other male closer and kissed him.

Iwaizumi's eyes closed, and one of his hands went to Oikawa's hair. Idiot, he couldn't help but think.

When Oikawa finally pulled away, his smile was even wider than before. A genuine smile, the kind that only Iwaizumi ever saw. The most beautiful smile ever, better than a thousand fake ones. The kind that Iwaizumi fell in love with, thousands of millions of times.

Behind Oikawa's pretty face was anger, hatred, jealously. That was the most amazing, amazing thing about making Oikawa smile genuine smiles. The fact that Iwaizumi made him smile them.

"Our storyline's much more simple," continued Oikawa. "The whole childhood friends thing. Not to mention how mean you are.

I still love you, though. Iwa-chan."