Fan Fiction: Elizabeth & Jack...Conviction

*disclaimer: This story is told from a Christian perspective. I am not trying to "preach" or tell anybody how life or Jack & Elizabeth's story should go. It is just what it claims to be, fan fiction, in which a fan took characters wonderfully created by Janette Oke, brilliantly brought to life by Daniel Lissing and Erin Krakow, and wonderfully fathered by our very own Papa Heartie, Brian Bird. Aside from giving me wonderful characters to play with, this fan fiction is an independent work and does not represent the opinions or talents of anyone associated with When Calls the Heart, Hallmark Channel, Crown Media, Believe Pictures, or the moderators of this wonderful fan page. It's just me, having some fun, trying so hard to not offend anyone that it is probably offensive. Enjoy. Or not. It's up to you. :-)

"Conviction", part I

Somewhat reluctantly, yet not, Elizabeth took her usual seat next to Jack who sat on the aisle of the fifth pew. She much preferred to sit on the outer aisle, but, of course, Jack, always the gentleman, sat on the outside, apparently to protect her from criminals or wild animals who might happen into to the church on any given Sunday morning.

"Really," she thought, a tone of slight disgust even in her silent thoughts. "After months of courting, you would think he would realize I am not some helpless damsel on the continual verge of distress."

By now, surely, Jack had figured out that Thatchers, even...no... especially the Thatcher 'girls' were strong, capable and determined. And self-sufficient! Still, again reluctantly, Elizabeth knew in her heart that Jack was not only right, but also that his insatiable desire to protect her was something she couldn't help but admire. Truly, the things about Jack that annoyed her most often were also the things that made her heart skip two, sometimes three beats whenever he entered a room. He was strong. He was brave. He was fearless. He was self-assured. He was man enough to hold his own against the stubbornness of Miss Elizabeth, "I am a strong, capable, woman" Thatcher.

In fact, it was his very fortitude that had so annoyed Elizabeth last night that she quietly took her seat with only a cursory "Good morning," without her customary hand squeeze. While she intended to punish Jack with her attitude, it seemed that Elizabeth was the only one who was paying a price this morning. While Elizabeth tried to hide her pouting, she watched as Jack comfortably chatted with their neighbors and friends.

"How irritating," she thought. "He acts as if everything is fine. Has he already forgotten last night? Has he yet to realize how much his stubborn pride is hurting me?"

And this is where Elizabeth was the most wrong. Jack's "stubborn pride" was both stubborn and prideful, but clearly motivated by his love for Elizabeth. He intended to propose to Elizabeth over three months ago, but after the little incident with Elizabeth's long-time friend Charles, Jack took a pause. Overhearing Charles' proposition to Elizabeth shook Jack. He did not, for a minute, doubt Elizabeth's commitment to him or their future. Elizabeth's graceful and compassionate refusal made it clear that she loved Jack, and the only future she saw was one with Jack as her husband. However, Charles' curve ball introduced apprehension to Jack. Was it fair of him to ask Elizabeth to give up all she had grown up with and all Charles could provide? Was Elizabeth's father right, that Charles' offer was, as Mr. Thatcher proclaimed, "the life that Elizabeth so dearly deserved"?

And so, instead of the engagement ring, Jack took Elizabeth for a walk one week later and gave Elizabeth a simple, silver band, asking her to wear it as a promise of their commitment to one another. He declared his love and his intention to propose as soon as possible, but Jack refused to ask for Elizabeth's hand until he could provide a proper home for his future wife. Elizabeth agreed that it would be less than desirable to live in the upstairs of a jailhouse/ RNWMP Office; however, she could not understand why Jack insisted upon building their future home with his own hands and his own resources. Shouldn't the Mounties provide some assistance to provide their Constable a suitable living quarters? Wouldn't it make things go much quicker if they could send either supplies or man power? What concerned Elizabeth most was wondering why Jack was not as anxious as she was to officially move from courting, or promised, to engaged.

No. What really bothered her was the way he reminded her that, as the head of their relationship, it was his responsibility to discern when and how they should proceed.

"Your opinions, Elizabeth, do matter to me. You matter to me. Don't you understand how difficult it is for me to wait also? I want to be your husband now, and-

"-then why won't you listen to reason?" Elizabeth interrupted.

With a gentle finger against her lips, Jack silenced Elizabeth and continued, "Don't you see? I can't marry you before I am able to provide for you. It's bad enough that anything I can provide will pale in comparison to what you are used to, but-"

"Jack, you know I don't care about any of th-"

That finger again. Elizabeth stopped, vowing to listen more and argue less. Or at least to try.

"I know you don't care about that. I know you would be willing to scrape by in my little jailhouse apartment. I know you love me enough that those things don't matter to you anymore. But it matters to me, Elizabeth. I know I can't provide a mansion, and we both accept that – even gratefully welcome that. But you have to understand why I need to prepare our new home by myself. It can't belong to the town, the Mounties, or anyone else for that matter. This will be our first home together, and I can't allow anyone else to have a stake in our home. I need you to understand, Elizabeth, and trust me on this. It's important, important you understand why I need to be the one, the only one, to provide for you. It's important you accept that I can and will care for you and our family always, regardless of where we are, who we are with, and what we have. Elizabeth, can you trust me and accept as I am? A man who is driven by an inner code. A man who needs to provide. Can you trust me enough, Elizabeth, to submit to me on this?"

"Sometimes you absolutely infuriate me, Jack Thorton!" She hated it when Jack mentioned submission. She knew it came from a place of love, and she knew it was something God commanded of her. But it made her feel weak. She also knew that it was wrong of her to challenge him, but that only made her more determined to dig in her heels and justify her anger. "You know I love your determination and you know I trust you...with everything. Jack, I've given you my heart, my whole heart. I wouldn't do that if I didn't trust you. And you know I've never doubted you."

"But you are impatient. Like a child waiting for Santa." It was clear from his smile that Jack was not trying to be insulting. Elizabeth's impatience, her childlike enthusiasm, seemed like magic to him. Becoming the man of the family at such a young age, Jack couldn't remember a time when he still believed in Santa. He couldn't remember having the luxury of being impatient. He only remembered being responsible- for his grieving mother, his little brother, and even for upholding the memory of his beloved father. Now he shouldered the responsibility for the whole town of Hope Valley. That Elizabeth still possessed the strong will of an impudent child was one of those "annoying" traits that only endeared her to him more. But he knew it was important that, before they even planned a wedding, Elizabeth learn to trust him to be the head of their family. He knew for their marriage to work, she absolutely needed to trust that Jack would always lead based on uncompromising love for Elizabeth, always putting her first.

Unfortunately, what Elizabeth heard was, "You are acting like a spoiled child!"

"Jack Thorton! You take that back! And while you are at it, you can take back your flowers. I'm going to bed now, so you can just see yourself out when you are ready. I won't be insulted anymore, and I won't continue to listen to you when you refuse to see how much it hurts to feel so close, yet so far from you at the same time. I love you, Jack Thorton, but right now your stubborn pride is driving a wedge between us, and before I lose my temper, I'm going upstairs. Good evening!" and she began to stomp toward the stairs.

At, "and before I lose my temper," Jack could no longer hold back a slight smirk. He knew immediately that that was a big mistake.

"And another thing," Elizabeth spun on her heels to glare at a surprised, and somewhat amused Jack.

"You can wipe that smug smile off your face! On your way home, maybe you can try to understand how much it hurts me to think that you don't love me enough to be willing to accept some simple help to build our home!" And with that, she flew up the stairs to her room, hoping that Jack would not see her tears as they began to fall.

Oh, yeah... Big mistake.

While he did not see her tears, he did hear her sobs as she reached the top of the stairs. He hated making her cry. He knew he was right to stand firm, but he wanted to grab her in his arms, hold her, and agree to everything she asked of him. Anything to make her happy. Anything to stop her tears.

Instead, he looked up the stairs with sadness and pain in his eyes.

"It's also important that you realize how difficult it is for me to wait, too," Jack thought.

Continued...