*Episode 2 Spoilers*

Title is Every Avenue song "Think of You Later."


He was talking to his mates from the football team during the second week of college. Rather, they were talking whilst Finn's attention was spent on each passing person as he examined the crowds for long black hair and a plaid or black leather jacket. His Rae. His heart would speed up and then drop in his chest each time he thought he'd seen her.

Each phone call to her house was intercepted by her mum or Karim. Karim still couldn't speak or understand English clearly enough and Finn hung up frustrated each time he picked up. Rae's mum, however, told him she was sick. He wasn't buying it. There was something else wrong and he wanted to know what it was. He hadn't seen her in a fucking week. He was Rae-deprived and he needed to refuel.

He didn't understand why Rae kept pushing vodka on him that night at his house, either. He thought it would be the day that he and Rae would finally have sex. She let him touch her at her house before, so why would she be nervous now? Yeah, sex is a bit different but he would be gentle. The first time, he grinned to himself.

They were having a good time looking through his old photo albums whilst music played. But the photo of Stacey changed the atmosphere in the room. She wouldn't let him kiss her like he wanted to. She was pulling away and pouring him drink.

He wanted to be sober for her. For their first time.

He wanted to be completely aware of every inch of her body as he caressed it and kissed it. He wanted to memorize each freckle and love her so hard she forgot her own name.

But he got pissed and fell asleep. He couldn't even enjoy waking up to her with the pounding hangover he had which caused him to rush out of bed and nearly miss being sick into the toilet.

It was late in the second week when he finally did come across her. But she pulled him into the disabled toilet so they wouldn't be seen. Was she embarrassed by him?

She rushed away from the bathroom when the door finally was opened. She didn't look back, just walked away, leaving him hurt. Why did she need a reason for him to fancy her? He just couldn't understand no matter how hard he tried. He was in a piss-poor mood the rest of the day. He shoved away the girls who tried to touch him and ignored the ones that talked to him. Why couldn't they just leave him the fuck alone? If they weren't Rae, he wasn't having any of it.

Later that day after college let out he met Chop at The Swan where they sat in a booth both nursing Fosters.

"I don't fucking get it, Chopper," he said drawing designs into the condensation on his stein. "What is going on with us? I thought we were doing great."

Chop shot Finn a curt smile. "Finn, mate… Raemundo's ill."

Finn's head shot up to look at Chop. "She said she was better. She said she wasn't ill anymore."

"And you're buying that bollocks? Do you not watch her when you two are out in public?"

"Of course I do. As if I could look at anything else," Finn smiled, reminiscing of just the other day when the two sat in the same pub kissing. Oblivious to the world around them.

Chop shook his head. "You really don't notice her constantly looking around?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Mate… Rae's not better. I'm not going to pretend that I understand what goes through her head, but she's still sick. You're lovesick. You don't notice her looking around when you're holding hands, touching her, kissing her… She's watching the reaction of everyone around you guys. And do you not see their reactions?"

Finn shook his head slowly. Surely Chop is wrong.

Chop sighed. "People around you two laugh, they make grossed-out faces. And sometimes Izzy and me can hear what they say. 'He must be desperate. Chubby chaser. She must be good in bed. He's being paid to go out with her…' And that's the nicer stuff, Finn. People are fucking cruel and you are oblivious to it whilst Raemundo sees and hears it all. She's fucking lived it. And no matter how many fuckers I say something to, they will not see what the gang does. They don't see how amazing a lass Rae is like we do. They see her and think the worst.

"Finn, she was in a mental home because she hurt herself. Do you not understand how much someone has to hate themselves to try – let alone want – to kill themselves? No matter what she's said, mate, Raemundo is still sick."

Finn stared at Chop in disbelief, his brain working on overdrive to try and process the information.

"How come you saw all of this and I didn't?"

"Izzy, Archie, and me have been watching. You, my dear Finn, are a lovestruck fool," Chop grinned at him.

"What do I do?" Finn asked helplessly.

"I don't know, mate," he shrugged. "She needs to get better before anything. That's what's most important. Have you two even had sex yet?"

"No. She kept pushing me away and then she kept giving me drink. I got pissed and fell asleep."

"It's a crutch," Chop said.

"Is that why she's avoiding me at college? She doesn't want to be seen with me…"

"Because people are arseholes, to put it nicely. They're going to make fun of you two."

"But I want to be seen with her! I fucking love her, Chop! I don't care what people think about us. I just want to be with Rae," Finn shouted, causing heads at surrounding tables to glance in their direction.

Chop stood up from his chair and clapped Finn on his shoulder.

"But she does. Raemundo's putting you before herself. Listen, I'm sorry but I got to go. My break's over in ten and I've got to head back to the shop."

"Yeah. Thanks, Chopper. See ya."

Finn sat at the booth for another half hour absorbing his conversation with Chop. Why would she lie to him about being better? He just wants to be with her. The cunts at college can go fuck themselves if they think they're going to mess with his girl. He shrugged on his plaid jacket as he stood up from his chair. He grinned to himself as he remembered that his favorite jacket, the leather one, is sitting with Rae. His Rae.

Hours later he was calling after Rae who was walking away from him after taking his heart out of his chest.

Between then and leaving the pub Finn had come to the conclusion that he would tell Rae exactly why he liked her. No. Why he loved her. He'd spent the few hours making a comprehensive list of every little feature about her. He'd been starting a list for a mixtape he would make her. The first song would be Spaceman. That was their song. It was followed by songs like Wonderwall, Champagne Supernova, Fade Into You, The Way You Do The Things You Do… It was quite the mixtape he was going to produce and give to her at college the next day before he kissed her in front of the student body. She would grin and kiss him back before taking his hand march him around campus proudly.

Instead, he was standing in his drive with tears forming in his eyes as he clutched his leather jacket in his hands.

A couple days later he would give her Bowie back and tell her he couldn't be friends with her right then. He would walk away from her with his hand desperately gripping that comprehensive list as she still sat on the swing.

It would be another week before Rae got the courage to play Bowie again and crinkle her brows together as Spaceman started and cry as the tape continued. At the same time in his room, Finn would glance over at his record player where the real Bowie CD sat atop the list that continued to grow as he thought of more.