The Ever After

I should have no objection to go over the same life from its beginning to the end: requesting only the advantage authors have, of correcting in a second edition the faults of the first.

-Benjamin Franklin

Chapter One: Just Another Day in the Fade

Ah, another trip to the Fade. Well...this never gets old. Hawke muttered to herself as she trudged down yet another lonely path in a seemingly endless loop of brown scenery.

You'd think with all the company they have, they'd redecorate now and then. Maybe some flowers? New curtains? she quipped aloud, pausing for heavy groans before she realized yet again what she was doing.

Ah. That's right. I'm alone. Well. I guess I can always tell that one to Anders later.

Anders...

Her mind, formerly focused on jokes turned to this with a somewhat familiar dread. It'd been months since she'd seen him last. Close to a year with this month over actually. And that wasn't exactly a problem of bad timing and missed opportunities either. Because for the last few months at least, she'd been actively avoiding him. And though it pained her to consider it she couldn't be sure he wasn't avoiding her as well.

It'd started out well enough. What with all the packing and fleeing Kirkwall and the constant worries of templars, chantry assassins and other assorted bogeymen there hadn't really been time to think about what she was feeling and what he'd done. What they'd done.

And then, when there was time, snatched moments really...she'd been so busy trying to make every second count that any thought or doubt she felt was fought off as viciously as a templar raid. She was happier for it too, the blocking of certain thoughts could go a long ways toward that.

But now this. A strange threat.

Peace.

Not a total peace, the Circles had fallen, unrest was high, their safety an hour to hour struggle some days. It was just that they were now one of many targets, some of those being far more ruthless than even Vengeance allowed for.

So there was time to think. For one thing, she was accomplice to murder. Another thing, she was a murderer. Not of killers and thieves but of the innocent. Nameless, yes, faceless yes but it could have easily been anyone she knew. Fenris. Sebastion. How often did they visit the Chantry? If they hadn't been with her that day, where would they be now?

No compromises. She thought unhappily. That's where they'd be.

And still she loved him.

It was just lately, that love had seemed rather twisted. More and more like a raft a man will cling to when he's drowning, than the shining thing it'd been before. I'm no better than that madman who took Mother's life, she'd thought bitterly on more than one occasion. We have similar motives, he and I...what with our obsessive love.

So because of this or in spite of it, she'd found herself avoiding him when they met up. Hiding from him when he visited their usual spots and she happened to be there alone. Work helped. The mages still needed help and fighting the occasional abomination was very therapeutic.

But mainly she tried very hard not to think of him.

It was these grim thoughts that were running through her head when she heard a tiny but still clearly pained squeak below her.

A mouse? she said, puzzled. That seems so familiar.

"Pardon me, Serah Mouse." Hawke said sadly, kneeling to examine the tiny body. "I didn't see you through this cloud of self-pity it seems."

...mmm..Fin..the mouse whispered in a tiny voices,

"What's that?" Hawke said leaning closer. "Could you possibly still be alive?"

"I said I'm fine." the mouse said, in a somewhat louder voice. "And I didn't mean to be underfoot. I just didn't want to lose sight of you."

And why's that? Hawke asked curiously as she dusted her hands and stood up.

"How else would I see what's behind that door?" it said calmly, motioning with its tail to the door that had sprung up behind her.

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