This story- like many- needs to be told in two parts. This is the tale of Before and After.
Introduction
After
The tangerine moves back and forth between polished hands, hovering for a mere moment before dropping back to earth. He couldn't control time, couldn't suspend or accelerate the flight, the movement of the fruit in the air. He would give anything to go back, do things differently. If only he had known.
The tangerine flew one last time before Byakuya caught it, and crushed it in his hand. The fruit seeped between his fingers. If only he had known! He released the broken fruit, watching it fall into the ravine far below. No, Byakuya could not control time, but he could control how long he suffered in its teasing grip. Byakuya shed his captain's cloak, took one step, and fell.
Before
The petals fluttered softly from the trees, landing strayed upon the grounds, stones and benches of the Kuchiki's quiet grounds.
"So yeah, that's about it." Renji scratched his neck and grinned embarrassedly under his taicho's solid gaze. Outwardly, Byakuya was a stoic as ever. Inwardly, he was a mess.
Renji had asked at the beginning of the day if he could speak to Byakuya privately that evening. The redhead had been stumbling around all day, seeming even more unfocussed than usual. At the request, Byakuya was torn. He spent as little time as possible alone with his fukutaicho. The casual observer –and Renji- saw it as dislike and condescension for the tattooed man. Sometimes, even Byakuya could convince himself that he treated Renji the way he did simply because the redhead was beneath him, but that illusion shattered over and over. Every time he saw Renji grin cockily in the midst of a fight, every time he heard Renji's loud laugh or soft chuckle, every time he saw him smile, his heart skipped beneath his emotionless state.
Byakuya was a noble, and therefore ashamed of his feelings toward his fukutaicho. He had hoped if he kept his distance from the redhead, these feelings would fade like mist from his clean-cut life. Byakuya nearly refused Renji's request, but something in Renji's insistence was outside his normal stubbornness. Now sitting across from this man, this mist, this horrible distraction, his life had been thrown off balance.
I kinda love you… a little bit.
The redhead forced a grin, taking the captain's silence as repulsion.
"Sorry about this taicho." Renji chuckled sadly, "Maybe you'll find a new fukutaicho that meets your standards." Renji stood, and walked away, leaving Byakuya dumbstruck.
And inwardly panicking.
Act now, or lose him forever. He didn't know why but that thought devastated him. Before he could think, he stood.
"Abarai!" Renji turned in surprise to face his captain, who was striding over. "You cannot leave me in such a position!" The redhead's confused, brown eyes met Byakuya's and his shields fell. He knew he would regret it, but he gave in to impulse, if just for once.
He did not know who initiated the kiss, but all thought of resistance left the captain as his subordinate, this lesser man wrapped Byakuya in his strong arms. This was so wrong, but for that moment, Byakuya relinquished control.
A simple prelude to a longer story. Will continue if there is interest, so please review to let me know if you want it pursued.
