Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries nor am I making any profit from this. Characters, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

A/N: So, I wrote this for day 2 of Kennett Week. It's meant to be weird and crazy and crack-ish. I already had written more serious and sexy secret affair fics for Kennett, so I wanted to try something a little different.

Enjoy!


"Are you sure we'll be alone for a while?" Bonnie asks as Kol trails small nips and kisses down the soft skin of her throat.

"Yes. Stop worrying so much," he replies with a slight roll of his eyes before slipping off her shirt and unclasping her pretty pink bra.

She opens her mouth to say something else, but all that comes out is a groan when Kol's mouth closes around a nipple.

"Yes," she hisses while pulling at one of his hands to cover her other breast.

Before she can really comprehend what's happening, she's lying flat on her back, her jeans and panties are off, and his mouth is doing the most wonderful things between her thighs.

"Oh, you and your witches, Kol," Rebekah says from the doorway.

Bonnie lets out an embarrassingly loud squeak and reaches for a pillow to cover at least part of herself.

"I will say that I'm amazed you managed to get Bonnie Bennett off all people, though," Rebekah continues. She enters the bedroom and casually takes a seat on the side of the bed as if she didn't just walk in on her brother performing cunnilingus.

Bonnie just stares at her awkwardly while Rebekah smiles charmingly.

"Bekah," Kol says, warningly.

"Oh, fine," the blonde huffs. "You two have your fun." She winks at Bonnie before exiting the room.

"Now where were we?" Kol asks, flashing a smile at Bonnie.

Weird ass family, Bonnie thinks as she takes the pillow and smushes it to her face in embarrassment. What a weird ass family.


After that incident, Bonnie now refuses to step foot in his house because, "So help me God if Klaus walks in on us next."

So now they take their rendezvouses to her place.

At first, she felt some trepidation about inviting him in, but she figures that if Kol's master plan had been to kill her all along, he would have done it a long time ago. On the upside, in her house, it's not like there's anyone around to catch them in a compromising situation.

Yet, Caroline manages to barge in on them right when Kol is thrusting into Bonnie at a maddening pace and she was right on the precipice of what should have been a fantastic orgasm.

"Oh my God!" Caroline shrieks, doing her best impression of a fish out of water.

Kol sighs in irritation and stops his movements.

"I…uhm…I suddenly don't remember what I'm even doing here. I'm just going to go wait outside," Caroline squeaks. "Takeyourtime." She quickly slams the door behind her.

Kol would have been more than happy to continue, but when he opens his mouth to suggest they finish, she glares at him.

"I…don't know what to say," Caroline admits when Bonnie finally joins her downstairs and Kol leaves.

"I don't either."

"So…how long…?"

"About three weeks."

"Oh."

"Uh, I know that you probably think I'm crazy right now. I mean, I think I'm crazy, but if you could, you know, not say anything to anyone…"

"Yeah, it's crazy," Caroline said with a nod. "But I trust you enough to hope you know what you're doing." Pause. "At least I don't have to worry about either dying a virgin or being the forty year old virgin. And you looked like you were enjoying yourself."

Bonnie drops her head onto the counter.


Despite being interrupted by Caroline at Bonnie's house, they continue their trysts there anyway. Caroline barging in was an unlucky fluke and that's all.

Currently, Bonnie is on top of Kol, giving him the ride of his life and doing all sorts of sinfully pleasurable things with her hips.

"Bonnie, I've been trying to get a hold of you, but you aren't answering your phone and you weren't answering the door, but I knew you were home because your car is in the driveway. Anyway, Stefan and Damon—"

Awkward silence.

"Seriously?! You guys choose to remember my existence now?!" Bonnie half-yells before she can stop herself.

Elena stands there with her mouth open for a few more moments before swiftly exiting the room.

"Well," Kol says dryly, "I guess you no longer have to worry about people finding out about our not-so-secret affair."

Bonnie groans and runs a hand over her face. Then, she smacks Kol's chest hard.

"What—"

"You've got super hearing! Why don't you ever warn me when this is about to happen?!"


A/N: Like I said, this was meant to be weird and crazy and crack-ish. I hope you all enjoyed it, though.

Thanks for reading and, as always, reviews are much appreciated!