Disclaimer: The books, plot and characters belong to J.K. (author goes and pouts in corner) Despite the fact that I would love to own Sevvie!
A/N: I know, I know this story is totally OOC, poorly written and overall just really cracktastic. But I love the Harry Potter fandom and I needed to write something.
Harry Potter, the new DADA teacher and Hermione Granger, the new librarian, walked into the staff meeting. They received a few glances and a glare. (The glaring was Snape, of course.) Hermione took a seat and Harry followed despite that he was practically vibrating and suffering the affects of a sugar high. "Harry? What did you have for lunch today?" asked a very concerned Hermione. Suddenly Harry gasped. "Honestly Hermione if someone sets down a fork, napkin, spoon AND yogurt it obviously means they want to sit there!" Harry stood up frowning and gesturing to the bare table in front of her. "Harry! Wha..."
"You know what! I'll give you to the count of seven to move and no more."
"Harry be reasonable." said a confused Hermione. "Fine whatever my seat is better anyways." said Harry sitting back down. The meeting proceeded normally for the next five minutes before Harry turned to Hermione. "Hermione, what's your favorite thing that's red?" Hermione had decided to ignore Harry for the moment. "Hey, hey, hey, Mione! What's your favorite word that starts with the letter 'J'?" Silence. "Hermione! What's your favorite kind of bunny?"
"White. Now shush, Harry."
Harry fell out of his seat attracting the attention of all the teachers. "White bunnies are REAL? The exist? Since when?"
"Harry..." Hermione said pleadingly, "Please just get back in your seat." He blinked at her in astonishment. "White bunnies are real and you're worried about whether I'm in my seat or not? Hermione don't you understand? They're real! It changes EVERYTHING! Are they soft? Can I have a pillow made out of one? Can I, Hermione? Huh? Huh?" Here Hermine tried switching tactics using Harry's own annoying questions on him. "Harry?" Hermione asked abruptly. "Do you prefer Mickey or Minnie Mouse?"
"Well I dunno. Are they dead?"
"Are they what?"
"I need to know if they're dead or not. It changes my answer completely."
"You know what never mind. Forget I asked." Silence for a minute. All the teachers were staring at Harry. Suddenly Harry got an urgent look on his face. He started tugging on Hermione's arm. "Do phoenixes die?"
"Harry, how in the world would I know?"
"Because they're Greek." He paused looking thoughtful. "They are Greek aren't they?" All he got in response was a sigh. "Mione? So imagine that there's a jar and it's shaped like a star." He paused giggling. "I rhymed... I think. Anywho imagine that there's a jar and it's shaped like a star. If you could fill it with any liquid what would it be?"
"Your brain juices." She snapped irritably. Harry ignored that. "What color beside white do you associate salt with?" Hermione sighed in defeat. "Pink."
"I was thinking more of a blue but pink works too. I guess." Silence. "Well that was a boring staff meeting." Harry wiggled his fingers in farewell and skipped out the door humming Christmas tunes despite the fact that it was mid-May.
A/N: Because I can't have Sev you all should give me a review instead. ;)
