A/N: Written for a comment-fic prompt, as usual. Takes place early series. Hope you enjoy.


On the way back to Nate's from a con, Eliot and Parker rescue a small child from an attempted kidnapping. Which is nice, you know, because Nate's sure to congratulate them when they tell him for being his kind of (not-a-) criminal. But after Parker high-fives Eliot he actually turns around, steps over one of the bodies still twitching from Parker's taser, and picks the kid up.

"What are you doing?"

It clings to Eliot's side like a monkey as the hitter hoists it up one-handed, worming its arms and legs around him and sniffling into his jacket, and Eliot looks back at Parker like she's the crazy one. "We have to return him."

And that doesn't make sense either because even though it's a kid and weird and oozy, now Eliot's mentioned it she realizes they'd rescued it so they should get to keep it. Hardison had told her Nate used to have one, once. Maybe he'd like another one. And Sophie would probably like it. Hardison too, he'd have someone to play video games with.

They could keep him and train him to be a thief like them!

Parker tells Eliot; he hugs the kid closer at the idea and turns them away from Parker, which means he's really thinking of keeping him because he doesn't want to let even Parker close, even though he's saying things like "stupid" and "we can't do that" and other things he says when he doesn't like one of her ideas.

Parker would have to build a new harness for him, though. He's too small for all of hers. But that also means he's small enough to break into places even she wouldn't fit, and she's the tiniest of the team. She could finally send someone else into the air ducts for a change, and do some of the fun parts of the job like Eliot always does!

Parker smiles wide.

Eliot's face mashes up like he's smelled something awful. Oh, that's right, people say kids can't go to the bathroom right. Well, she'll have someone else teach him how to use a toilet. On that topic, what would they call him? Unlike everyone else she's met, he doesn't have a name yet. Can she make one up, like other people do for their pets?

He needs a cool name – something thief-like. Definitely nothing Hardison comes up with, because she's seen all the people he talks about and all they do is live in a screen and fight bad CGI. Nate will probably have some ideas, or Sophie. She always has the best names for her cons.

They could pull a lot more cons with a kid on the team. People find them cute and harmless. It'll be like having a puppy on a leash that can pick pockets (once Parker's taught him, of course). She'd probably start with a simple lift from a purse before moving on to clothing…

Parker only realizes she hasn't been paying attention when she sees Eliot walking away from her, already three yards away, kid still octopused onto him. "Hey!" She calls, "Wait up!"

"We're not keeping him!" Eliot growls, and walks faster. Parker breaks into a sprint. She has until they find the kid's parents to change his mind.