As seems to be the case for many of my stories, I really should be sorry for writing this. But I'm not. XD I am not responsible for any insanity this glorious work may cause.
Gollum sang softly to himself as he pulled a wriggling fish from the stream. It was fresh, it was juicy, it was sweet...
"YAHOOO!"
The sudden shriek made Gollum almost drop his fish. And nothing ever did that to him. A strange creature came striding into view.
Gollum hissed a warning, but the thing came over to him, grinning like mad.
"Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant." Jar Jar's face dropped pathetically. "Whosa yousa?"
"Gollum! Gollum!"
"What a goodsie name!" Jar Jar gushed, casually grabbing the fish and biting into it. "Meesa..."
With a snarl, Gollum knocked him over, rippling the fish out if his mouth and backing away. "Nassty fiiilthy elf-mutant...
"Whatsa elf? Mesa not an elf!"
"Filthy liar!" snarled Gollum. "We needs the precioussss! Curse us and crush us, our precioussss is lossssttt!"
"Whatsa precioussss?" Jar Jar asked, completely confused. This was his normal state. "How yousa loose yousa precious? Meesa want to help yousa!"
"Nassssty hobbitses, they stole it from ussss!" Gollum hissed. "When we find them, we will break their fiiilthy little neckses! Gollum! Gollum!"
Jar Jar looked stunned. (this was another of his regular states) "How wude!"
Gollum narrowed his eyes at him, then scurried away as quickly as possible. He even left his fish.
"Awwuuwww." Jar Jar moaned. Then he saw the fish, and ate it so fast he choked and died.
And the Star Wars fandom rejoiced.
The End.
Review or Jar Jar and Gollum will follow you around for the rest of your life.
