Tina likes hanging out at the playground.

It's not creepy at all.

Is it?

She just likes hanging by one of the swings and watching the kids play, okay?

To be on the safe side though, she brings some random book she grabs from their bookshelves and pretends to read it. Can't be too careful.

There are a lot of kids on the playground. It is a pretty big playground. But she has three favorites.

They're not her kids, so it's okay to have favorites, right?

Anyway, she doesn't know the name of the kids. Well, actually, she's heard them call each other B, Q, and S, but Tina's pretty sure they aren't their real names. Although she did have a classmate in middle school who they called B, even though her name was spelled Bea. Parents and their weird naming systems nowadays. She's lucky she was named Tina. A generic name, with the traditional pronunciation. Almost dirt common. Or is that a bad thing?

Well, anyway, they're her favorites. From what she's gathered, B's the corn silk blonde one with the light blue eyes, Q's the sienna brunette with the green eyes flecked with hazel speckles, and S is the midnight java brunette with the deep dark eyes.

You can tell that they're her favorites from the effort she put into coming up with the colors for their hair.

Tina likes them the best because their friendship's really cute. Don't blame her if they're the reason she comes by every day.


Q and B are sitting on the edge of the sandbox when Tina arrives. The book Tina has for today is Lisa See's Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.

"Remember the cat I showed you and S last week?"

"Yeah B!"

"My dad says I can't name him Doofywoopygus. He says it's too hard to spell on the sertifica-sertifikay-on the paper where you place the name."

"That's too bad B. Wait, wait! We should name him now. Is S here?"

"No. Her mom made her go to the scary tooth doctor. The dentiz-dentist. But I told her and she said we have to make his new name mean something. She says it's a lot easier that way. Like, like they name McDonalds after the farmer because they get their burgers from his farm!"

Tina smiles. They're so damn cute.

"S is really smart B. So, what do we do now?"

"Hmmmm."

B's pouting, and Tina really wants to squeeze her cheek.

"Uhhhhhhh, what do we know about Doofywoopygus?"

"He's fat."

"He weighs tons!"

"He-he's lazy."

"Lazitonsfat?"

"No."

"Maybe we should try different words Q. But like, with the same meaning."

"Si-synonyms? Like what Ms Keane teached us?"

"Yeah! Uh…my dad says Doofywoopygus is tubby, and I asked him what that means and he says it means he's really, really fat."

"I like tons. We should keep tons. What about lazy?"

"Hmmmm… Uh, uh…Yeah! Lord!"

"It's the ruler's name right, 'cause Daddy says I should not take the Lord's name in vain."

"I think so. Cause my Dad says that I like lording over him, like when I'm too lazy to get my shoes, and I ask Dad to give it to me. It's not my fault his legs are longer than mine."

Q giggles. Tina just wants to squeeze them so bad.

"What if your legs were like your dad's but your body's still you?"

B grins widely.

"I could pretend to be the legs only for Halloween. And then I'd scare stupid Puck."

"Or—or S and I could climb on you and we could ask your mom to put a sheet on us and cut holes, and then we could be a ghost with six arms."

B moves to lie in the sand, a determined pout on her face.

"B, whatcha doing?"

"Pull my legs Q. Maybe we could make them grow longer."

Q smiles.

"That's a great idea B!"

Tina watches, amused. Q pulls B, and instead of her legs growing longer, she drags B along the sand. They giggle, and Tina has to stop herself from joining in.

"Q, Q, stop!"

Q does, and B stands up, still giggling.

"That was fun! You wanna try?"

Q's smile become smaller.

"I really want to, but Mommy says I have to stay clean."

"It's okay Q. Let's think of other names for Doofywoopygus!"

Tina checks her watch. God. She has to go now. Her parents want to see her studying by five. She walks away, just in time for her to hear them agree on a name.

Lord Tubbington's pretty good, if she says so herself.


Tina has in her hands Madeleine Stern's Bookends: Two Women, One Enduring Friendship when she sees Q and S. B is nowhere to be seen.

Tina notices that Q's wearing shorts and a shirt with a duck on it instead of her usual dress. Weird.

She moves to go to the swings, but the kids get to them before she does, so she makes up by indian-sitting on the grass.

"I bet I can go higher than you Q!"

"No way, your legs are teeny."

"I'm still going to beat you."

Tina smiles. She watches as they go higher and higher. It's amusing to see S push against the ground; Q was right, her legs were teeny. Somehow though, she managed to keep up with Q. With the look on her face, it was as if she was managing to do it by will power alone.

"S, look, I'm flying!"

Q's laugh is carefree; Tina wishes she was a little kid again.

"Wait Q, I'll show you what real flying looks like!"

S pushes herself higher and higher; how she reaches the ground Tina doesn't know. S reaches the highest point of the arc and propels herself forward. Tina wants to scream, but the kid lands safely on her feet. Goddamn you S.

"Q, you try!"

Tina sees a flash of doubt on Q's face, but it quickly forms into a look of determination.

Q reaches the peak, and then she lets go.

Tina hears a scream, and her heart starts beating faster, and it doesn't slow down, even when the kid lands on her feet, because she does not seem to be moving.

"Q, are you okay?"

S is looking at her with concern, but then Q starts grinning widely, and jumps up and down.

"Let's do that again."

Gogdamn you,Q.

Tina watches as they jump off the swings for several rounds, though each time she watches in a mixed state of amusement and terror.

They jump again, now at the same time, and they move to hold each other's hands in the air.

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod.

They release them just before they reach the ground, and neither have the balance to stay on their feet. They roll across the ground, and Tina starts feeling faint. They're laughing though. That's a good sign.

"Wait till B tries this!"

They smile and they laugh but then Q starts looking a little sad, and Tina just wants to hug her.

"S, you think I should go change now? I'm really dirty."

"I'mma get your bag Q. Stay here."

S runs off on her teeny legs to get Q's bag. So damn cute.

Tina's not surprised to see S coming back carrying a handbag. What kind of parents make their toddler carry a handbag?

Q takes of the shirt and shorts until she's in those cute baby panties. S takes out the dress Tina supposes Q wore earlier and helps her in it. So, so cute.

"Thanks for letting me use your clothes, S."

"The shirt's B's. Uh oh. Q, your hair's really messy. Do you have a comb?"

"No. You think daddy will get angry at me?"

"Maybe that lady has a comb."

Tina doesn't see any grow—she's talking about her, isn't she?

S grabs Q's hand and runs to where Tina's sitting.

"Ma'am do you have a comb?"

S being polite and Q just looking at her with pleading eyes—god, Tina can almost die from the cuteness.

Okay, Tina. Calm. Pretend you haven't been watching them play for several weeks now. Goddamn you sound like such a creeper.

"I have a brush? Is that okay?"

"Yes please."

S smiles while Tina gets the hairbrush out of her bag. She hands it to S who immediately sits next to Tina, dragging Q to sit in front of her.

S starts going through Q's mane, but, er, her technique needs a little fixing.

"Ow! S! That hurts!"

"Sorry."

"S! That hurts more!"

Santana stops and starts pouting.

Tina, control your urges.

You cannot just squish someone's cheeks.

"Let me try."

Tina asks S for the brush, and Q moves to sit in front of her. Q's mane seems to be all tangled up. No wonder S had a hard time with it. There were bits and pieces of twigs here and there, even.

Tina starts from the bottom and goes her way up, making sure that she gets all the knots and tangles. She feels S's eyes on her, watching her hands brushing the hair reverently.

"There; you're all done. Let me see you."

Q stands up and grins smiles at Tina.

"You look so pretty, Q."

Oops. Did they tell her their names?

"What about me?"

S is next to Q, crossing her arms. Tina can't help the smile on her face.

"You too, S."

S's pout turns into a grin.

"Thank you ma'am. Come on Q, I wanna show you the bush I found!"

Tina shakes her head as she watches them run off.

She is very tempted to adopt kids right now.


Tina's a bit late; she hasn't even seen the title of the book she blindly grabbed. Sure, the kids stay for like two hours, but she doesn't want to miss a thing, you know?

She looks at the book. It's Deepak Chopra's Soulmate: A Novel of Eternal Love. She should start reading these, really.

She sits by the swings again, and sees that the only kids out here are B and S. For the first time, she notices that it looks like it's about to rain. Lucky that she always brings her umbrella.

S and B are lying on the grass a little ahead of her, staring at the sky. They haven't noticed Tina yet.

"That looks like an angry marshmallow."

"An angry marshmallow that got all melty, S."

They giggle.

"That looks like an elephant with a headache."

"That one looks like a clown-dog."

"That looks like Lord Tubbington with a sunburn."

"How would you know there's a sunburn B?"

"There's a hole in him shaped like the sun, duh S."

"Well-well, that looks like a flower with a hula-hoop."

"Hippo with a broomstick."

"Slipper-bats."

"Troll rats."

"Seven."

B giggles.

"You're my best friend, S. You and Q."

S rolls to B and snuggles against her. God, can they get any cuter?

It starts to rain, and apparently water hits them, because they start to squeal. Tina opens her umbrella and rushes to the kids.

"Hey, B, it's the pretty lady Q and me told you about. Thank you ma'am."

"Sure thing, kiddos."

Awww, they think she's pretty.

"When are you kids going home?"

"When B's mom comes ma'am."

"You can call me Tina, S."

They stand in the rain, which somehow chose today to pour in torrents. It's cold, and they're shivering, and B and S are cuddled together, huddled right next to Tina. Somehow, it feels good.

Lightning flashes and thunder roars, and Tina hears a squeak. She looks down to see S's face buried in B's shoulder. B's stroking S's hair as if to calm her down.

"Don't worry S; Ma'am Tina's a grown up, she'll take care of us."

She's dying trying to choose whether to squeal over her protecting them or B comforting S.

She hears a beep, and sees a light blue Volkswagen Beetle park by the sidewalk. She ushers B and S to the car. The door opens, and a woman who looks eerily similar to B comes out.

"Heavens to Betsy!"

The woman goes around the car and opens the back door. She gets the children from Tina and tells them to go inside. Once she closes the door, she turns to Tina.

"I am eternally grateful Ms…"

"Cohen-chang, ma'am."

"Ms Cohen-changmam."

"Uh, just Cohen-chang."

"Got you."

B's mom smirks, and Tina's slightly confused.

"Anyway, I'm Lisa Pierce. Thank you for protecting my little darlings…"

"Cohen-chang?"

"First name dear. Last names are so stuffy."

"Tina, ma'am."

"Call me Lisa, Tina. Thank you again for being with my angels. Do you want a ride home?"

"No thanks, ma—Lisa. I live round the block."

B's mom nods.

"Well, we have to go now. We're five minutes late for Lord Tubbington's aerobic workouts as it is."

Tina watches as Lisa gets in, when she notices movement by the back of the car.

B and S's faces are pressed to the window, their hands waving goodbye.

Goddamn when can she have children?

She waves them off, and the Beetle starts moving.

Tina turns around to go back home.

Wait.

Isn't Lord Tubbington the cat?


Okay, so Tina really plans to read this book now, Jeffrey Zaslow's The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship. People say it's dull, but they also say that plot-wise, it's remarkable. She's more into plots than writing honestly, so why not?

Still, it's a weekday afternoon, so she can't start reading just yet.

She arrives at the playground, a box of cookies burning a hole in her bag. The place, once again, is surprisingly empty, although all three of her girls are now there. B's standing with her legs a shoulder-width apart, her face twisted in anxiety, her eyes darting from one friend to the next. Q and S are staring daggers at each other, their fists clenched, their chests heaving.

Tina doesn't know what to do.

"Q, why did you do that?"

"It's not my fault S. You made this happen to you!"

S launches herself at Q, and Tina feels her heart break.

No. This can't be happening.

It looks as if B's feeling the same way.

"No guys! Stop the vayo-vayole-violence! Lord Tubbington never wanted this!"

B goes in to break the fight, and Tina, Tina just runs. She runs as fast as she can to the sandbox.

She doesn't want any of her angels to get hurt.

She jumps over the sandbox edge as she hears crying.

Or…is that laughing?

She stops in front of the tangle of legs and arms. Her little angels' eyes are closed, and their mouths are still open in laughter.

"That was so fun!"

"We were so good!"

"We looked like the people in mama's telenovela!"

God. Damn. Tele. Novela.

"Hey, it's Tina!"

"Hi Tina!"

"Hello lady who protected me and S!"

Tina feels so overwhelmed.

"What were you guys doing?"

B jumps up and down, her hand raised.

"Me! Me! I wanna answer your question!"

"Go ahead B."

"S watched with her mama a television book—"

"Telenovela, B."

"—a television book and S told us about it and we pretended to be the people in there and S and Q pretended to be mad and I pretended to be scared and it was easy because they looked really mad and I don't want my besties to be mad at each other because we love each other and my heart sort of hurt and I was sad and I wanted to stop them and do you think we did a good job?"

Tina blinks. Wow.

"Absolutely B. You guys were great. I was sad too, B."

To Tina's surprise, the three of them gather in a circle and hug her.

"Don't be sad Tina. Me and Q and B were pretending."

Tina. Is. Dying. Why are they so asdfghjkl;?

"I'm okay now guys. You just stay friends, okay?"

"We're besties for life!"

"Yeah Q, besties for life!"

"I'm hungry."

Oh yeah. The cookies.

"I have some cookies in my bag. You want some?"

Good Tina. Pretend you weren't planning to give it to them all along.

"Wait guys. Miss Tina lady saved our lives but our moms said not to take food from strangers."

B's eyes are narrowed in suspicion.

"Miss Tina lady, could you get a cookie and eat it?"

Tina's glad they're wary, really. She grabs a cookie and eats it.

"See guys—everything's cool."

B nods her head. Tina lowers the cookie box, and B and Q move to take a cook—

"Wait guys! What if she knew where the bad ones are!"

"Oh yeah!"

All three of them are looking at her suspiciously now.

"Tina, can you bend down?"

Tina has no choice but to subject herself to S's orders.

"I'm going to cover her eyes."

Q tries to reach Tina, but she's too small to do it.

"Miss Tina, can go downer?"

Tina does, trying to suppress a smile, and feels tiny hands covering her eyes.

"I'm going to put a cookie in your mouth, Tina. Okay?"

"Okay."

She feels like she's trapped in an toddler mafia or something.

Something brushes her nose, and she thinks she inhales a crumb.

"Sorry."

A biscuit goes into her mouth, and Tina chews. Her face is released from the tiny one's grasp, and she places the box on the ground. She stands up straight, a smug smile on her face.

"See, nothing's wro—"

Tina's hand goes to her throat; she chokes, her eyes close, and her body bends over.

"You killed her S! You killed her!"

"Shut up Q! No! I don't want to go to jail!"

"Call your Papa S!"

"I don't want to go to jail!"

Tina's body writhes on the ground; her laughter is proving hard to suppress.

She feels tiny hands trying to push her over, and she obliges.

"I saw this on tv. Q, go there, B, go there."

…what the hell are they do—"

She feels small hands grab her face while several others position themselves on her chest and diaphragm. Immediately, the ones on her body start pushing, while the ones on her face steady her head while a small moist mouth blows stale air into hers.

She pushes all three of them away.

"I'm alive! I'm alive! Fu—"

B, S, and Q stare at her.

"—udge."

They erupt into cheers.

"She's alive!"

"We saved her!"

"I'm not going to jail!"

"Hola, mis hijaay dios mío! Did you kill her?"

"No, mama! We saved her!"

Tina stands to attention.

"I'm alright, ma'am; I was just playing with the kids."

"Ah, I see. You must be Tina Cohen-chang? She who saved my daughter and her friend from the thunderclouds of death?"

"Uh…yes?"

The woman nods. This must be S's mother.

"I'm Maribel Lopez. A—did you bring those cookies?"

"Don't eat them Mama!"

"Yes Mrs Lopez! They're poy-poyso-they're bad for you!"

"She ate one and she almost died!"

Mrs Lopez looks at her, amused. Tina blushes.

"You brought the cookies for them?"

She nods.

"Hmmmm. How often do you come by here?"

"Everyday ma'am."

"To read?" Maribel asks, her gaze pointed at the book Tina dropped on the ground.

She could always lie.

"To watch these kids."

Maribel smiles.

"Do you want to do that paid?"

"Wha-what ma'am?"

"Lisa and I want to hire you as a babysitter."

"Miss Tina lady's really nice!"

"She combed my hair!"

"Made us dry!"

Maribel looks at the jumping trio, and back to Tina.

"They like you a lot."

She likes them too. Tina smiles.

"When do I start?"

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