a/n: This is just something I thought up one night when I couldn't sleep... Reviews are appreciated...
disclaimer: Sadly, Aoshi-Sama doesn't belong to me...
Good-bye, Aoshi-Sama
She watched him as he prepared for his morning training. She was slowly going crazy at his aloof behavior. She closed her eyes and sighed. She had been doing a lot of that lately.
She didn't think it was possible. She was supposed to love him beyond eternity.
But she'd finally given up on her Aoshi-Sama.
And it stung. Oh god it hurt to recognize the fact that he would never love her the way she had dedicated herself to him. No more. She wouldn't be his personal slave anymore. She refused to bring him tea while he meditated, trays when he wished to take dinner in the dojo or even offer a conversation when the only answers she got were less than two words long.
She opened her eyes and walked out. She'd never walked out on one of his practices before. She'd always watched, always admired. She sighed again.
Things were about to change. She was going to leave after asking him some questions. Just as soon as he was finished with his business in the dojo.
She walked to her room and flopped down on her futon. She stared at the ceiling, letting her thoughts consume her. He'd never thought of her as a woman. She was merely a child. A burden. Another sigh escaped her.
Why hadn't she noticed these things before she'd fallen so hard? 'Because I didn't want to,' she told her self fiercely.
Aoshi walked into her room without knocking. "Misao?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you leave?"
"Because I wanted to," she replied, rolling over. "Why do you care?"
"I-"
"You know what? I don't care. I don't wanna hear it," she cut him off.
"Misao-"
"Answer me this Aoshi; Do you love me?"
"That question... I... Misao..."
She sighed once more. "I am taking that means no?"
"No! Misao I do!"
She nodded stiffly. It was already to late. She didn't believe him. Desperation caused people to do and say things they wouldn't normally. She looked up at him with a dead expression.
"I don't love you," she responded. "Do you need me?"
He gaped. "Misao... Yes, I need you. What are you..."
She smiled sadly. "So you think. Aoshi, you've left me before and you were fine. You probably didn't even think about the sad little girl you were leaving at the Aoiya."
He lowered his eyes.
She tilted her head. "You don't need or love me."
"Misao, I know what I feel! And I do love you! And I do need you!"
She shook her head, bitter tears streaming down her face. "Aoshi, you may be strong, but you are not that strong. This much, I know."
He kept quiet. She'd never called him Aoshi without the -Sama attached to it. He rather like the sound of it.
"Misao, please..."
She held up a hand to stop him.
"Aoshi... you only think you love me. Please, don't lie to me." She took a shuddering breath. "I'm not strong enough."
He bowed his head, for she was right. If he looked beyond the surface of affection, all he would find was a duty to protect a little girl who had clung to his side for as long as she was alive.
That wasn't love.
That was affection. Affection for the little girl she used to be. Affection for what she used to be. As he stared at her now, he realized that she had blossomed into a woman before his very eyes.
A woman that he didn't love any more than the child.
A woman who didn't need protecting anymore.
His silence was all the answer she needed. She stood up, grabbed the sack that she had packed for this very moment and walked past him.
There were tears in her eyes as she whispered a broken good-bye to him on her way out. She shut her eyes against them. This was how it should be.
It was time for her Aoshi-Sama to let her go.
Owari
