The "After the Affair" Affair
Illya lay back on his bed reading a magazine in the hotel room he was sharing with Napoleon. The mission they had dubbed The Upstate Affair had ended successfully. The geneticist THRUSH had kidnapped from his lab in Montreal, Canada had been found before he could be tortured into assisting them with their latest plan to create a race of THRUSH super soldiers to take over the world. Agents from the Canadian Security Intelligence Service had picked up the scientist and the lab the birds had built outside of Buffalo, NY had been destroyed in one of Illya's spectacular incendiary fireworks displays.
They were both too tired to attempt the eight – hour drive back to New York City but, they didn't wish to stay in Buffalo just in case some THRUSHies were still there and holding a grudge. They opted to drive to Springville, a small town of about 5000 people thirty – five miles south of Buffalo and rent a room for the night.
There was a small diner a few doors down from the Microtel hotel and they had headed there for dinner. The waitress, Jessica according to her nametag, had taken a liking to Napoleon from the moment they entered the place. Illya might as well have been invisible. She was Napoleon's type, too; slim, blonde, blue – eyed, about five feet seven inches tall and approximately twenty – six years old. Napoleon began flirting immediately. Illya had not been the least bit surprised when the two of them made plans to meet after she got off work at 9PM.
It was now after midnight and the Russian was just about to turn off the lamp when he heard the agreed upon signal being tapped out on the door followed a second later by the sound of Napoleon's key in the lock. Agreed upon signal or not, Illya had his hand on his Special under his pillow until he saw his partner's face.
"Hey," Napoleon said quietly as he stepped inside and locked the door, "I thought you would be asleep."
"I was reading one of my science magazines I've been carrying around. How was your date with the lovely Jessica? I really wasn't expecting you until after breakfast since we are not flying."
Napoleon pulled the knot of his tie apart and unbuttoned his shirt. "Ah, it was fine but, a little odd."
Illya perked up at that. "Odd? How so?"
Napoleon shrugged out of his holster and shirt. Placing his gun underneath one of his pillows, he sat down on his bed, toed off his shoes, pulled off his socks and pants and put his feet up on the bed. He scooted back so that he was leaning against his other pillow which was propped against the headboard. "Well, I thought I would take her for a bite to eat and a drink but, she wasn't too interested. She said there aren't a lot of things to do in Springville after ten o'clock."
Illya rolled his eyes and responded, "This is a small town, Napoleon. So, what did you end up doing?"
Napoleon waggled his eyebrows and answered, "Going back to her place and having great sex. Afterwards, we talked for awhile. She asked what part of New York I live in and I told her New York City. She said I struck her as a Manhattanite and when I said I am, she correctly guessed that I live on the East Side. She said I looked too sophisticated to live on the West Side. She said she's been to the City once and liked it. That's when the 'odd' part happened. She was disappointed that I wasn't spending the night but, okay. It was when she asked me what we were going to do tomorrow that I looked at her and reminded her that I was heading back home to Manhattan. She got a little angry with me, at first. Then, she calmed herself down and wanted to do it again but, I don't know, it didn't feel right anymore. She was coming off as a little needy so I made my excuses. She and I did make plans for the three of us to have breakfast at nine in the morning before we leave."
Illya deadpanned, "I see. Your latest conquest strikes you as 'needy' so you want to have me spend time with her, too? Really, Napoleon? Thank you so very much."
Napoleon chuckled and reached over to turn off the lamp between their beds. "It does sound bad when you say it. She's not a bad person, though I can see maybe why she doesn't have a steady guy. Ah well, goodnight, Illya."
The Russian grunted and turned so that his back was to his partner. He didn't know why but, Napoleon's conversation had made him uneasy.
MFUMFUMFUMFUMFU
The next morning, Napoleon woke up just after seven and decided to get showered and dressed and head out for a newspaper and some coffee. Illya still slept and Napoleon wrote a note explaining his absence and then silently glided from the room. He walked down the four flights to the first floor and stepped into the lobby. The first thing he noticed was Jessica sitting in a chair that afforded her a view of both the elevator and the stairwell he had just exited. What is she doing here?, he thought even as he plastered a big smile on his face in response to the smile that grew on hers when she saw him.
"Napoleon, good morning!" she exclaimed as she arose and moved toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and lifted her head to kiss him. He obliged her but, when she tried to slip her tongue between his lips, he pulled away. That caused her to frown slightly but, then the smile was back. "Hey, how about we go up to your room and…build up an appetite? I was thinking about you all night," she whispered seductively.
"Is that why you're here now?" Napoleon's eyes narrowed as he watched her warily.
She shook her head so quickly, her ponytail whipped from side to side. "Of course not! See that guy behind the counter? That's my brother, Clay. He called me to bring him some money. Ask him if you don't believe me!"
Mortified, Napoleon began to say, "I don't think that's nec…"
Jessica stepped away from him and sniped, "I think it is necessary since it's obvious you don't believe me! Clay! Clay, could you come here, please?"
The front desk clerk had looked up when Jessica had called and now he came out from behind the counter and walked over to where they were standing. He stood approximately two inches taller than the agent and inserted himself between him and Jessica. He looked Napoleon up and down and then turned to the blonde. "Whaddya want, Sis? Is everything OK?" he asked.
"Clay, Napoleon here checked in last night and we met when he and his associate came into the diner to eat. Would you tell him why I'm here this morning?"
He looked at her and said, "Is that it?" When she nodded, he relaxed visibly. "Oh, sure. I called Jess because I must have forgotten to put more money in my wallet and I didn't realize it until I stopped to buy coffee. I didn't have enough for the day so, I asked her to bring me some cash."
Jessica picked up the thread, "So when I got here, I figured it didn't make sense for me to go back home and have you and your business partner drive all the way across town to pick me up when I'm already here." She patted her brother on his arm. "Thanks, Clay," she said as she watched him go back behind the counter and through the door to the office beyond. Turning back to Napoleon, she remarked quietly, "I suggested going upstairs because I thought you might like me being spontaneous but, if I had known you were going to freak out, I never would have mentioned it. In fact, I would have just gone back home and waited for you to come get me!"
"I'm sorry, Jessica. I do appreciate your suggestion but, it's just that, I was surprised to see you here," Napoleon said contritely, "It kind of threw me. Besides, my associate and I shared a room; our employer is very frugal; so, ah, a morning appetite builder is out of the question."
The blonde glanced over her shoulder to make sure her brother was still away from the front desk and then rubbed herself against Napoleon's body. "Your loss," she purred.
Napoleon's body started to respond against his wishes; it took several deep breaths and thinking of the ugliest woman he ever laid eyes on to get back under control. He looked at Jessica to see her looking expectantly at him. "Ah, I'm sorry, did you say something?"
"Yes, silly, I asked you where you were heading before you saw me?"
"Oh. I was just going to pick up coffee and a paper. Would you like to take the walk with me?" he said.
Her reply was to put her arm through his and turn them toward the door. There was a Dunkin Donuts a block away but she told him about a "Mom and Pop" style coffee shop a block farther that sold newspapers and, according to her, "coffee that put that corporate crap to shame."
One thing that Napoleon had in common with his partner of three years is the way they take their coffee; black with no sugar. Bad coffee has nowhere to hide when there's no cream, milk or sugar to disguise the poor quality and enhance the flavor. He ordered three containers, handed one to Jessica and took a sip from the one in his hand. "I have to admit, Jessica, this is excellent coffee," he smiled in contentment. He picked up a copy of the Springville Journal, put Illya's coffee in a bag, paid for his purchase and then held the door open for Jessica to step through onto the sidewalk.
Normally, strolling down the street alongside a shapely, beautiful woman with eyes for only him would have had Napoleon feeling like the cock of the walk but, somehow this didn't feel right. As she chattered on about some nonsensical thing, he wondered, I don't know what it is about her. He thought, her explanation for why she was in the lobby makes sense and making love in the morning is always a good idea, so what's my problem?
They arrived back at the Microtel and Jessica said she would just keep her brother company until he and Illya came downstairs. She patted him on the butt when he turned to go to the elevator. She didn't see the frown that ran across his face at the liberty she had taken.
When he got to the room door, he gave the signal and entered. Illya was dressed and apparently had been tying his shoelaces when he heard the knock. He put his Walther back in its holster once he had confirmed it was his partner. "I was getting ready to go look for you. What took so long?"
Napoleon recounted his morning from the moment he stepped into the lobby from the stairwell to his walking back into the room. Illya listened quietly while he drank his coffee. When Napoleon finished speaking, Illya nodded and said, "I know exactly what your problem is. She's the aggressor and you don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot."
Illya watched as his partner jammed his hands into his pockets and paced from one side of the room to the other. "You might have a point there, Partner Mine. I am used to setting the pace when it comes to dealing with the ladies and Jessica does seem to want to be in control. Maybe that's what has me on edge."
Illya stood and put on his suit jacket. He was dressed in his usual black suit with a white shirt and skinny black tie. "Really, Napoleon," he mused, "this is the 60s, after all. Women do seem to be demonstrating a desire to be seen as equals. You can't keep acting like you are in charge when you are with a woman. The way things are progressing with Women's Lib, I can assure you that April Dancer will not remain the only female Section Two agent. You need to bring your thinking into today's world, Napoleon!"
Napoleon pulled his hands out of his pockets and replied snidely, "Oh, really?"
Illya held the room door open and they stepped through on the way to the stairwell. "Yes, really, Napoleon," he replied. "I have to admit, at first, I was a little concerned when you told me about your date last night but, now I think I was just being…what are the women calling it? A male chauvinist hog?"
"Pig, Illya, male chauvinist pig. And, you're probably right. Let's go enjoy breakfast and even if Jessica is a little overbearing, we won't be seeing her after today so, we'll just make the best of it."
