A/N: Hey y'all! So this is a collab I did with TheSaintAddie :D
It's about The Hunger Games! And how much we hate it XD I know we're gonna get bashed for this, but who cares!
Enjoy!
REVIEW PLEASE!
Disclaimer: I don't own shit. Neither does Addie.
Johnny: *sitting in his bedroom*
Jimmy: What are you doing in there?
Johnny: NOTHING.
Jimmy: Let me in...
Johnny: NOOOOO!
Jimmy: FINE! *pushes the door open*
Johnny: THE LIGHT! IT BUUUURNS!
Jimmy: *looks at the bed covered in Hunger Games books and posters of Jennifer Lawrence*
Johnny: I can explain...
Jimmy: Man, you better. Is that... The Hunger Games? The fuck are you doing with *that*?
Johnny: Uh... well... it's just that...
Jimmy: Mmhmm. Brilliant explanation, Johnny Cakes.
Theo *pops out from Jimmy's pants*: JOHNNY. DON'T READ THAT SHIT. It kills your brain cells quicker than sniffing glue. Plus, sniffing glue is a lot more fun than reading. USE YOUR BRAIN CELLS WHERE THEY MATTER, KID. Kill them with drugs, not backwards-ass booky shit like that.
Johnny: The fuck? Where'd you come from, Theo?
Jimmy: He popped out of my pants. If by some miracle you haven't noticed, he has a tendency to do that. But anyway. EXPLAIN WOMAN.
Johnny: Well... uh... Katniss. She just reminds me so much of... *whimpers*
Jimmy: Oh god. Don't say it. Here we go. On the count of...
Theo *finishing for him*: 1, 2, 1234!
Johnny: *bawling* WHATSERNAMEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Jimmy: *pats Johnny on the shoulder as he continues to cry like a baby*
Johnny: I MISS WHATSYYYYYYYY
Jimmy: The fuck you do. You can't even remember her name.
Theo: And how does that scary lady remind you of Katniss?
Jimmy: You're afraid of Whatsername?
Theo: I HAVE A FEAR OF VAGINAS! *hides back in the pants*
Johnny: *slowly starts reading Mockingjay*
Jimmy: PUT IT DOWN.
Johnny: NO. I'VE BEEN UP FOR 72 STRAIGHT HOURS READING THESE BOOKS!
Jimmy: How do you eat?
Johnny: Easy. I just pretend the pillow's a marshmallow. *points to the half-eaten pillow*
Jimmy: Gross. And how do you drink?
Johnny: LOTS OF BEER.
Jimmy: There's something wrong with you...
Theo: *popping out from the floorboards* You're telling me...It's not like it's news that Shitbag's a freak...
Johnny: 'SCUSE ME?
Jimmy: YEAH. I can call him a Shitbag but when you call him a Shitbag, you've crossed the line.
Theo: *quickly retreats back into floorboards before Jimmy can hurt him*
Jimmy: But Johnny. Seriously. THE HUNGER GAMES?
Johnny: *nods in shame*
Jimmy: Gimme that. *grabs book*
Johnny: *wheezing in protest* uhuhhhehhhwhhh
Jimmy: FUCK DIS SHIT *pulls out lighter as book goes up in flames*
Theo: *appears out of nowhere* YOU PUT THAT SHITBAG IN HIS PLACE.
Jimmy: *gives Theo death glare*
Johnny: *bawling his book got burned*
Jimmy: MWUAHAHAHAHA! WHERE'S YOUR PRECIOUS BOOK NOW?
Johnny: MY BOOKS ARE CATCHING FIRE! Wait...teehee...
Jimmy: What was that?
Johnny: Nothing.
Jimmy: OH GOD. I MADE A REFERENCE. THEO. HELP ME.
Theo: *jumps out of the closet this time and rips his shirt off* Ok!
Jimmy: What are you...?
Theo: I...um...it's...I'm gonna go...masturbate. *runs back in the closet*
Jimmy: Great...I'm so glad I know that...
Johnny: *drooling while staring at Jennifer Lawrence*
Jimmy: Oh, dear Jesus...
Johnny: What? You said Jesus?
Jimmy: BITCH PLEASE I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU
Theo: *moaning in closet*
Johnny: Gross. *starts crying hysterically again*
Jimmy: *tears down poster*
Johnny: *wailing*
Jimmy: If you can give me three reasons I should read these bo...
Johnny *cuts him off* ONE. JENNIFER LAWRENCE IS STRONG AND EMPOWERED LIKE WHATSY. TWO. JENNIFER LAWRENCE IS BEAUTIFUL LIKE WHATSY. THREE. JENNIFER LAWRENCE IS KIND OF A BITCH JUST LIKE . *starts crying again*
Jimmy: I said good reasons. *pats crying Johnny on the head with look of disdain plastered on his face*
Johnny: And she's also physically attractive.
Jimmy:...
Theo: Jimmy...keep talking...
Jimmy: NO!
Theo: OH YEAH! THAT'S IT!
Johnny: Jimmy...I'm scared...
Jimmy: Why don't you ask Katniss to protect you?
Johnny: I would...but she's kind of in District 13 right now...
Jimmy:...
Johnny: SHE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW AND NEITHER IS WHATSYYYYYYYYYY. HUG ME JIMMYYYYYYYY.
Jimmy: Hell no. I did *not* leave South Side for this.
Theo: SAY MORE WORDS.
Jimmy: *facepalm*
Johnny: JIMMY HELP ME. SAVE ME FROM THE REALMS OF KATNISS'S FREAKISHLY ATTRACTIVE QUALITIES.
Jimmy: Mmhmm. Hello. I'm right here. Look at this sexy beast right here.
Theo: *foaming at mouth and grinning like a kid in a candy store*
Jimmy: *groans*
Johnny: Jimmy, babe, are you Team Gale or Team Peeta? *giggles like a 12 year old*
Jimmy: *shakes head*
Theo: TEAM GALE! TEAM GALE!
Jimmy: Theo, I thought you were Team St. Jimmy?
Theo: WELL OF COURSE I AM. Gale just has attractive qualities as well.
Johnny: GALE SUCKS. We all know Peeta's the best.
Theo: Says who?
Johnny: SAYS ME.
Jimmy: This is not happening...
Johnny: *ignoring Jimmy* BUT THEO. PEETA'S SO MUCH COOLER.
Theo: Except for the fact that his only fans are 12-year-old girls.
Johnny: AND ME.
Jimmy: Explains so much.
Johnny: HURTFULLLLL
Jimmy: Boo, you whore.
Johnny: Mean Girls reference? REALLY? And you call ME a 12 year old girl?
Jimmy: *clearly lying* I... I've never seen Mean Girls! OF COURSE NOT. ME? Chick flicks? NOOOOO.
Theo: You're not the patron saint of denial for nothing...
Jimmy: WHAT ABOUT JOHNNY? He's clearly seen Mean Girls AND he's read the Hunger Games.
Theo: *nodding in agreement as he stares into Jimmy's eyes*
Jimmy: Theo, you're kind of creeping me out right now. Just go back to masturbating or fangirling or whatever the fuck you were doing.
Theo: *continuing to nod and stare*
Jimmy: THEO? THEO. LISTEN TO ME.
Theo: What? Huh? Oh. Hi. Fangirling. Right.
Johnny: KATNISS IS SEXY AS FUCK. *bursts into tears again.* SO WAS .
Theo: You know who else is pretty damn sexy? *eyes Jimmy seductively*
Jimmy: *clasps hand over Theo's mouth*
Theo: *licks Jimmy's hand*
Jimmy: EW. THEO. THAT'S GROSS. YOU LICKED MY HAND, ASSHOLE.
Theo: mmhmm. And I was going to say Van Hughes is sexy. Jesus. Conceited much?
Johnny: Huh? Someone said Jesus?
Jimmy: *bitch-slaps Johnny* I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.
Johnny: *whimpering* hh-but-you said Jesus!
Jimmy: *rolls eyes*
Johnny: Whatsy? WHATSERNAME! YOU CAME BACK FOR ME! I KNEW OUR LOVE WASN'T JUST SOMETHING TO FAKE!
Whatsername: Um...the fuck?
Jimmy: Long story.
Johnny: Oh Katniss...I missed you...
Whatsername: JIMMY. HAVE YOU BEEN LETTING HIM READ THOSE STUPID HUNGER GAMES?
Jimmy: Um...no?
Whatsername: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
Theo: *hands Jimmy a Mockingjay pin* You'll need it. She's gonna beat your ass.
Jimmy: What?
Johnny: LET THE GAMES BEGIN! MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR!
Whatsername: *chases Jimmy out of the apartment*
Johnny: I love the Hunger Games...*smiles smugly*
A/N: Hehehehe :3
Reviews?
Thanks, Addie for writing this with me!
