Story of a sarcastic Dragonborn

Authors note:

Hello lovely readers, because I love you all so much…. Except that one guy, he knows who he is; I've decided to write another story.

Even better….. It's going to be a long one hopefully with multiple chapters.

I do love sarcasm, so this should be fun to write, I'll try and update regularly.

This is only my second story so please be nice.

Aaannnnndddd (takes deep breath) please please please please please review, so I can be better, and pretend I have a social life… yay.

Also please excuse any inaccuracies, point them out and I will fix them

Anyway

Enjoy…hopefully

Chapter 1: Marlow

The Dragonborn, a legendary warrior with the soul of a dragon, wielder of unimaginable power, unmatched in combat… then you've got me.

I'm Marlow, a Khajiit, I'm not a great fighter or very powerful. I'm awkward and often get the snot beaten out of me because of my sarcastic attitude, speaking of snot I also have hay fever, all of the time, every day… it sucks

Yes, I'm a cat, with hay fever.

I've tried so many cures, spells, doctors, none of them work. Ever since I was born I've been sneezing, usually at the most inconvenient times. Like for instance on my 14th birth day, all my little friends were gathered around as I received my presents, and by friends I mean people who had been bribed to come…..

Any way, we all stood in a circle, and the I got that itch at the tip of my nose that signals an inevitable sneeze, I tried to warn them I really did, but puberty choose that moment to break my voice, so all that came out was a sort of high pitched squeal. Time seemed to stop; I threw my head back, and unleashed an explosion of snot, spit and some other mysterious substances.

15 people were blasted about 12 feet across the camp, I flew backwards into my cake, at least no one was seriously hurt, again.

I'd like to say they deserved it, but no should have gone through that….. ever.

On the "bright" side, I didn't have to suffer my step sisters constant wining, because she was unconscious for about a week.

At first I was sneezing 24/7 because of my fur, but over time my body learned to live with itself, unfortunately it hasn't managed to do this for the rest of the Khajiit race, or anything with fur for that matter.

Pollen I can handle, but not fur.

Now, at the age of 22, my allergies have settled down a bit, now I only sneeze when there's a lot of fur, not all the time, "Joy"

As you've probably noticed, I don't speak in third person, yes a Khajiit that talks normally, shoot me…no please do it an end my miserable existence.

I live in Riverwood and I'm the only Khajiit there, I get so lonely, but at least my nose doesn't explode as much. This is the story of how I discovered I was a Dragonborn…..

I lay on my bed in my room at the inn, me and the owner have an agreement, she lets me stay for free because I keep all other Khajiit away, I'm sort of famous in Khajiit circles, they tend to avoid me. It's not that she doesn't like Khajiit; it's just that Delphine is a very paranoid person.

So I'm lying there daydreaming about being less awkward and having lots of gold, when I'm suddenly hauled roughly to my feet and pinned up against the wall. It's an Argonian, a very large, angry looking male Argonian.

I recognise him of course, how could I forget those jet black scales and feathery Mohawk. His name is Vex, earlier that week I'd been strolling through town when I'd passed a hunter selling his pelts, long story short, Vex who had been unlucky enough to be near me at the time had been blasted straight into to a massive ( and very hard ) oak tree. He'd been in the infirmary for three days, and now he'd woken up, yay.

"I've finally found you" he hissed "I've spent three days just sitting there in the infirmary, plotting my revenge, and now here we are."

"You really need to find a hobby, you know something like tap dancing, or knitting" I replied, probably not the best thing to say in this current situation I know, but I can't help it, sarcasm is my natural defence mechanism.

"I'm going to make you eat those words, and then lets my hounds eat you" he seemed really angry now, his eyes popping out, muscles shaking, like they couldn't wait to smash me to a pulp, and I had no doubts that they could.

Put the cat down vex" a voice called, it was Delphine, I'd never been happier to hear her voice.

Vex sneered at her "Why should I, you going to make me?"

The confident smirk on Vex's face melted as Delphine suddenly leapt forward, she was there one second, gone the next, she appeared next to Vex and produced a short hunting knife, which she held up to his throat "Yep" she said.

Vex loosened his grip on me a little, but didn't let me go "you wouldn't" he said not sounding very confident.

"Oh she would, you know that story about that guy who tried to trash up this place but ended up with his head imbedded in a tree" I nodded to Delphine "That was her who did that to him".

Vex went pale, thanks to me he knew all about being imbedded in a tree.

He dropped me, and backed away, "You were lucky this time, but I'll get you eventually" he stuttered.

"Wow" I replied with my "razor sharp wit", "you even sound like a real evil villain, go on, do the evil laugh."

"Marlow" said Delphine.

"Yeah".

"Shut up".

"Right, you got it".

Vex sent me one last hate filled glare before running of with his tail literally between his legs.

"I think I've found a new best friend, we seemed to just really click, thanks by the way."

"You're welcome Marlow, I'm just happy you didn't blow a hole in my wall, while it pains me to admit it, you not too bad, you've lived here a while so I guess that technically makes us friends".

"Thanks" I said, shocked by the sudden kindness from the guarded inn keeper I'm so used too.

Later on that day I saw Vex over by the Riverwood trader talking with some scary looking mercenaries, looks like he's planning something, maybe I should go find Delphine…

Authors note: So how was that for a first chapter?

As always please review and tell how I can improve it, next chapter should be up soon.

Bye 8)