The first time they held hands was hesitant.

They sat together on Dean's bed in the motel room, Sam was out buying dinner. "Okay, Cas. This is going to be the best film you will ever watch, I promise". Dean's eyes shimmered with excitement and Cas felt a second-hand joy for Dean, who was sharing something special to him with Castiel. Both of their legs outstretched and shoulder to shoulder, Dean felt he was at home with Cas, in a peculiar way, and the warmth of Castiel's arm next to his was comforting; knowing his angel (he still called him that, partly to comfort Cas, and partly because it would always be true, even if Cas didn't have his grace any more) was there for him and was here to stay.

10 minutes in to the film, and Dean was watching Cas out of the corner of his eye. He saw Cas' eyes light up at the special effects of the film, and watched Castiel be affected by the same part of the film that Dean was affected by. He looked down at Castiel's hand on the bed between them, and wondered what it would be like to hold it; to grip it tight and never let go and silently thank Cas for being there all the time. So he did.

He brushed his fingertips over the back of Cas' hand, and smiled when he felt Cas twist his hand up to grip Dean's fingers in his own. Cas' had was a similar size, but felt completely different; it was cold, but soft to touch and completely scratch-free, unlike his own. He ran his fingers experimentally along Castiel's palm and felt him shiver slightly. He looked at Cas' hand twisted into his; he took note of every angle and every crease and every natural mark on Cas' hand. He took note of Cas' short and clean nails. He smiled at Cas who looked at him every now and then, and Cas replied with a nervous twitch of the corners of his mouth. This was unfamiliar to both of them, but both of them felt the ground breaking beneath them as they fell into a chasm of no return.


The first time they kissed was urgent.

The open field. The stars shining in the sky. The gentle breeze whipping round them. They held hands again, tighter, more desperately, neither ever really wanted to let go. Leant against the hood of the Impala, closer than ever, happier than ever, Dean turned to Cas, let go of his hand and gripped both of Cas' cheeks in his hands, as if losing contact with Castiel's skin would cause him to disappear forever. He smiled and felt Cas' nervous breath against his lips. He smelt like flowers to Dean, and Dean was keen on finding out what he tasted like. He moved his lips to Castiel's cheek, planting gentle kisses on either side of his face, until Cas' breathing had calmed down; Cas snaked his arms around Dean's waist, pulling him closer. This was Dean's cue. He placed a delicate kiss to the corner of Castiel's mouth, then effortlessly kissed his lips. They were warm and soft and slightly uncertain, like quivering flowers in a spring breeze. Cas held Dean to his body, and they melted into one form as they shared pure and undying kisses. Dean trailed kisses along Castiel's jawline and neck, loving the unfamiliar feeling of stubble against his lips, and he took Cas' low and gentle moans deep in his throat as that was he was doing was nice for Cas; that's all he wanted. Cas was seeing stars as Dean's smooth and soothing lips set him on fire. It was like a switch had been flicked for the both of them as they realised how far they had fallen for each other.


The first time they cuddled in bed was blissful.

They watched a film again (one of Castiel's new favourite things to do) and held hands comfortably under the covers. Dean wasn't expecting Cas to fall asleep on him, but it wasn't until Cas' head hit Dean's shoulder that he realised Cas was asleep, and would feel awful making him move to his own bed. While him and Cas weren't "officially" a couple, Dean was still nervous about sharing a bed with Cas, mainly because of how Sam would react. He sighed and gently shrugged his shoulder, nudging Cas awake

"Hey sleepyhead, you tired already?" Cas could only manage a nod, and his eyes were heavily lidded and his hair was messy. He yawned and got ready to stand up when Dean kept a firm grip on his hand and whispered "you want to stay here tonight?" Cas' eyes lit up and he smiled slowly.

"Yes, Dean. I would like that very much". He lay down in the bed while Dean switched the TV off with the remote, and Dean angled himself so he had his arms around Cas, and Cas buried his face into Dean's neck. All Dean could smell was Cas, and all Dean could feel was Cas, and he loved it. He felt Cas rubbing tiny circles into his side with his fingertips, and these slowed down before finally stopping altogether, at the same time Dean heard Cas' gentle snores. He's like a kitten, Dean thought to himself, as Cas' snoring was more of a contented purr. Dean could feel his eyelids getting heavier by the second, as the warmth of Castiel's body against his own charmed him into a long and refreshing sleep.


The first time they made love was heavenly.

They were both desperate, clawing at each other's clothes, hair, sweat dotted skin. Their mouths moved frantically and their breaths were shallow and fast. They moved against each other and with each other as if they were about to run out of time; both desperately seeking the other's whole. Lips against freckled skin, rough hands caressing smooth milky white skin that was almost silk to him. Necks exposed for biting, marks left were a claim and scratches made with dull nails said "you're mine". Endless cries of "Cas..." and "Dean...". Pleasure induced whispers of "I love you" and "you're perfect" removed all masks and let the flowers bloom. Skin flushed pink and lungs desperately seeking air showed the pair the truth. "Never leave me, Cas..." "Never".