Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot

Rating: M for adult themes, child abuse, swear words and embarrassing sex talks

Warnings: Quite a bit of Dumbledore character re-interpretation.

1. Prologue

The 31st of October 1980 was a very cold night, not that Remus paid it much attention. Curled in a thinning blanket next to the window of his derelict shelter, his eyes were trailed on the darkened edges of the forest.

The small wooden cabin used to be the lodging of muggle wanderers. Or woodcutters, maybe, he was not sure. What he knew, was that the coming of winter had seen the cabin abandoned, for which he was grateful. He had claimed the four walls for himself, as a place to spend the full moons away from everyone.

Not that he spent the rest of the month elsewhere.

He pushed the thought away, but, as usual, it refused to leave. No wizard would rent a place to someone like him. Or they would, and then, they would eventually notice the signs and become less and less cordial, less and less polite, until they simply told him to leave.

Employment was the same struggle with prejudice and fear. Finding work was hard, keeping it impossible.

As for the muggle world… With the war, Ministry laws had gotten more stringent about protecting the non-magical populace from dark wizards, dark magic and dark creatures.

He was not sure what the penalty was these days – it was harsher every time he checked – and honestly, he was not going to chance it.

Though it would be nice to have a job he could keep more than a couple of weeks… Remus sighed and wrenched his thoughts away from fantasies of being treated with basic respect by people who were not his closest friends.

He turned his attention to the dirty window pane. In the dim light, the rust-coloured stains looked like dried blood on the glass. He briefly thought about spelling it clean but cast the idea aside, for the same reasons he had not attempted to furnish his shelter with magic. What if a muggle dropped by and noticed the changes? As stupid as that logic was, it would still hold against him in court. He would not risk it.

Compromising Secrecy was a major offense. A normal wizard might get away with a little bit of redecorating, but a werewolf? He would be lucky if Azkaban was all he got sentenced with.

Beasts deserved to live in filth.

He winced, fighting the surge of– anger, growl, fight, –and took a few deep breaths. The ache in his bones settled, and he peered at the sky.

The moon was only a slim waxing crescent in the darkness but Moony was unusually agitated, even for the eve of Samh- Halloween.

He breathed.

In the middle of the forest, no child would come knocking at his door. Even if one did, his budget was strict, and candies were non-essentials. Though he might still have a handful of those honeyed things Sirius had given him the other week.

He smiled.

The self-exiled Black was a wonderful idiot who knew all Remus' weaknesses, most notably his sweet tooth. Thinking of his friend lit a small warmth in his chest. Maybe Sirius would bring more candies the next time he came by.

Maybe he would not be bruised and exhausted, like he had been all this month.

Remus closed his eyes. Three years of war had taken their toll on them all. On him too, more than he would like to admit. Constantly fighting against Death Eaters and dark magic. Most of the time, he felt more as if he was fighting against himself, and Moony, and the unspoken prejudices of his allies.

He breathed deeply, fighting the tightness in his chest, the burning wetness in his eyes. Moments that should have been of peace and friendship, and family, were spent instead enduring the mistrust of his own pa- friends.

He clenched his fists and pushed all the dark thoughts away.

Things would get better. They had to.

They could not really get worse.

Ѻ

Seven hours later, his world shattered.

Ѻ

Remus' treatment in the books always bothered me. We don't have much info on the whole werewolf life, except that it sucks. So I'm taking liberties, here.

Anyway, here's my attempt at making Remus make sense.

Hope you'll enjoy and comment,

Sincerely,

Claywind