Author: 'Memories of the North' will have more flashback about Tirpitz's past, mostly about Russia and Norway, since it wasn't much tackled in the previous story. I'll say this as early as the first chapter...there will be no happy ending for everyone.

After some thinking, I decided to refer to her as "Tirpitz" when speaking with or around ship girls and "Admiral Suveran Schwarze" when around ordinary people. Also, by the August, uploading new chapters will probably be slower due to real life responsibilities. I'll let you guys know if my schedule is still going to be the same or if it will be slower.

P.S.

There's going to be three OC ship girls (and one Abyssal) that I will insert in this story as a certain "avid reader" requested it. I didn't mind so I decided I would add them in the story. While they're going to be a part of the characters, the story still revolves around four ship girls (five if you count Bismarck).


I thought...I would never be that monster again...but I was wrong...

A country in the north, Russia. Of all places to be temporarily posted, it had to be a country where coldness is one of the worst. As I head towards the office, I pass by some ship girls who all had darkened expression. I wonder what's up with them?

"Second of the Bismarck class battleships, Tirpitz, reporting in"

I saluted when I entered the office. When I looked at the admiral, I feel like he's inspecting every aspect of me. He makes me a little uncomfortable.

"So you're Tirpitz. Sister ship of Bismarck"

"Yes" I nodded

"Your older sister is highly praised in your navy because of her accomplishments"

The admiral leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. What's up with him?

"Even if you had a good record, your sister exceeds you by a high level. She made quite a reputation for herself..."

I silently reacted. I detest if someone, specially from the navy, compares me to my sister. I just don't like anyone comparing me to her...

"You're the biggest battleship in Europe and a capital ship. I have high expectations of you"

I clenched my fist behind my back. If anything, people having high expectations of me is one of insecurities. Everyone just expects so much from me because Bismarck is my sister. They just keep thinking since we're sister ships, I should be as good as her.

"While you're posted in my base, I'm going to pair you with a fellow battleship"

"Pair...me?"

"Yes. You're going to be partnered with a Russian battleship"

Partnered? No one told me about partnering? Was this a decision made by the admiral?

"I've told her to come to my office, but she's running late. That rebellious girl doing whatever she wants"

He mumbled angrily. He sounds so ticked off so I didn't bother asking. As he continued to curse under his breath, someone rudely barged in.

"Hey. I'm here"

A grey haired girl with her hands in her pockets lazily walked in.

"Gangut, you're late! How many times I have to tell you shouldn't be smoking your pipe inside the office?"

"I smoke whenever and wherever I want. So screw you!"

My first impression in this Gangut person is she's rude and stubborn. She's definitely the type of ship girl who doesn't listen to other people.

"Who's this person?" She pointed her thumb at me

"That's the German battleship I'm partnering you with while she's temporarily assigned here. She's Tirpitz, second of the Bismarck class battleships"

As the admiral introduced me, she almost dropped her pipe and raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?! What kind of stupid joke is this?!"

"It's not a joke. I've decided to pair you up to someone with discipline...and respect"

"This German is going to be my partner?! I can fight on my own, you know!"

She angrily slammed the admiral's desk while I just watch, feeling awkward.

"There's no way I'm fighting alongside a German! I prefer to fight my own way without anyone holding me back!"

"My decision is final. Tirpitz will be your partner whether you like it or not!"

The admiral showed authority by standing up and hitting the table. I can see Gangut has no choice but to accept his decision so she went silent.

(This awkward situation makes me prefer England over this place)

Gangut rudely hit the table and as she turned around, she glared at me with hostility. She then stormed out of the office.

"Sorry you had to see that. It's just how Gangut is..."

"I can see that..."

"The reason I'm pairing her up with you is because I'm hoping she'd learn to have a bit of discipline. She's reckless and refuses to listen to anyone"

From the sound of it, that Gangut is a constant headache for the admiral.

"If she keeps being so stubborn and reckless, she would undoubtedly sink. I can't afford to any of my ship girls sink"

"I understand, admiral"

"The Admiralty warned me if I don't keep Gangut under control, they'd replace me"

He leaned his back on his chair, feeling stressed out.

"I'll do what I can to at least help Gangut learn proper discipline"

"That would be great"

I can already tell this has been going for a while and the admiral feels like giving up just looking at the stress visible on his face. I hope I can do something about Gangut...


There's something. A memory. A lingering memory that would sometimes haunt Tirpitz in her dreams.

"Everyone...I'll hold them back..."

A shipgirl. The dream is a bit vague and the colors are almost dull, but she remembered that ship girl.

"...!"

She was a battleship. She called out her name, but no voice came out. A dear friend? Someone close to her? The dream is vague. It changed to a different one.

"Ya...mato..."

An Abyssal filled with deep hatred wreck havoc in the seas, leaving no survivors in her rampage.

"..."

Tirpitz panted as she never faced an Abyssal this powerful before. The Abyssal rivaled the power of Battleship Princess herself.

"So...is this...where I'm going to die...?"

She already knew she could never win against an Abyssal of that power. As shells from battleship caliber guns went flying towards, she closed her eyes and let darkness sink in.

"..."

Even before the sun starts to rise and the reveille sounding, Tirpitz woke up from that horrible dream. Standing up, she realized it's already morning so she better get prepared for the day.

"It's been six years since I became an admiral, huh..."

Tirpitz softly thought while taking a shower. After buttoning her uniform and slipping on her boots, she took out an album and sat on the side of her bed.

"More than twelve years ago. For a human, that's a long time, but for ship girls...how much time passes doesn't matter"

She opened opened it and looked at old pictures of her days back when she was an active ship girl. There were pictures of her alongside unknown ship girls, but there are noticeable ones. A certain Russian battleship who has a habit of smoking her pipe, Arkhangelsk before she went completely mad, and a third ship girl...

"..."

Her hand gently pressed on the picture, while her eyes gazed with deep emotions. She looked at the picture of a "Project" ship girl with reddish brown hair tied in a ponytail wearing a red and white modified miko uniform paired with a white skirt.

"Gone. Like the others..."

She commented on the ship girl with reddish brown hair. While she feels sorrow and longing, her voice was cold and distant. Not wanting to feel negative emotions, she closes the album and hides it back inside the drawer.

Later...

As Tirpitz walks around the naval base to enjoy the fresh morning, she saw Prinz Eugen talking to Yamato. She's curious to what they are talking about since Prinz Eugen shyly looks away while blushing and her fingers are fidgeting.

"That's a first..."

As she continues to walk, she thought about what she went through more than a year ago.

I...want to sleep for good...

She smiled, remembering how she reconciled with her Abyssal self and the two became at peace.

"A lot has happened last year. A lot..."

After a good morning walk, she went straight to her office, knowing she would have daily paper work to do.

"Time flies so fast..."

Tirpitz thought as she looked at the recent post sortie reports of the ship girls from her base.

(A mysterious...phenomenon)

She thought about the report as she leaned on her chair. While Tirpitz is in deep thought, Nagato enters the office bringing her the documents she requested.

"These are all the documents you request and an official letter from the admiralty" Nagato puts the filed papers on the desk

"Ah. Thanks"

Some of the documents involved post sortie and operation reports from other naval districts.

"Admiral, why did you suddenly decide to look into these reports?" Nagato asked

"It made me curious. One of the girls from Sasebo went missing three days ago"

Hearing about a missing shipgirl, Nagato is shocked while her admiral shows little emotion.

"According to the admiral there, one of his fleet patrolled near Drake Passage. It was unusually stormy. One of the destroyers got separated...and was never seen again"

"Did they try looking for her?"

"They sent out a search party, but all they found in the area is an odd looking Ro class destroyer who they said it looked like it was trying to talk"

"Admiral..."

(What's more whenever a storm shows up in that area and a ship girl gets caught up in it...they mysteriously disappear...)

Tirpitz scratched her head as even her can't find an explanation.

"Not just Drake Passage, but other areas as well. The most infamous one is the Bermuda triangle"

"I heard the legend on the place is exaggerated. It created false stories, but there are people who proved those are just made up"

Nagato puts her hand on her waist while Tirpitz arranges the papers.

"When I first sunk, I had memories of before I woke up as an Abyssal" Tirpitz recalls an old memory

"...?"

"I can't move, see, hear, or even speak...but I felt something"

"What did you felt?" Nagato wants to know

Her secretary ship is eager to listen so Tirpitz prepares to continue.

"A mysterious power. It urged me to wake up and when I did...well you know what happened"

As Tirpitz arranges the documents, she picks up the white envelope with the seal of the Japanese Navy.

"Ah. I've been waiting for this" Tirpitz smiled

"What's that, admiral?"

"I've been informed two days ago they're going to transfer a ship girl here from Russia. They said the details will be on the official notice they're going to send"

She opens the envelope and pulls out the folded letter. Quietly, Tirpitz reads the letter, but reacted strangely after a few minutes.

"Recommendation...Approved by...the official transfer..."

Upon realizing who will be the transferee from Russia is, she stopped reading for a while.

"...of the name ship of the Gangut class battleships...Gangut"

"Admiral? What's the matter?"

Tirpitz didn't react for a while as she tries to clear her thoughts.

"G-Gangut. Of all people they could send...it has to be Gangut"

"Who exactly is Gangut?"

Since Nagato never met Gangut, she asked her admiral who seems to know Gangut.

"She was my partner back when I was assigned in Russia"

"Your partner back in Russia?"

"Remembering those days...still scares me to this day. It was horrible...very, very...horrible"

Tirpitz lowered her head and as her hands clutched her arms, she shook as if she is scared.

"No matter how horrible I was treated, Gangut is my friend who also had my back..."

"Admiral..."

"The only problem is how would she react seeing her admiral is her supposedly dead partner..."

The ship girl Tirpitz is known to have sunk eleven years ago, so to others...she's officially dead.

"Well that is a problem..." Nagato felt sorry for her admiral

"I feel like it's going to be like the ordeal with my sister again"

Tirpitz referred to when Bismarck and the others arrived at her base.

"Aaaah. This is going to be a pain to deal with..."

She already expected it will going to be awkward and tensed once Gangut meets her.

Afternoon...

Still inside her office, Tirpitz reads what Gangut has been doing for the past few years. Tirpitz isn't surprised to see how Gangut's superiors views her as a constant headache as she's a stubborn and disobedient one.

"What's the matter, comrade admiral?"

Tashkent cheerfully asked while drinking vodka. The Russian destroyer relaxed her back on a chair and shakes her ice filled glass.

"They're sending Gangut here in a few days. From the looks of it, her admiral saw her couldn't take it anymore...and wanted to pass the problem to the others"

"Ha ha ha. It's very likely of them. They have no use for ship girls who refuses to obey"

Tashkent laughed, but stopped upon seeing her admiral's darkened face.

"I can understand why not even Bismarck knows about your past in Russia. After all you went through. The abuse...the torture...the loss of a comrade"

Hearing "the loss of a comrade", Tirpitz's hands tensed up remembering the picture of a certain 'Project shipgirl' wearing a modified miko uniform.

"What are you going to do? They'll know the hell you went through..."

"...and the murderer I became on that very day"

Tashkent puts down her almost empty glass of vodka, gulping.

"You're not a murderer, comrade admiral..."

"I might as well be. Tashkent...if only you could see how he was begging for mercy while I looked down on him. I felt nothing...no emotion"

Tirpitz clenched fists and gritted her teeth, horrified at a sin she had committed a long time ago.

"When Arkhangelsk told me I'm no different from her, she was right about me. I'm just like her...a monster"

She felt disgust to herself, but she can't erase that fact it's a dark side of hers.

"What happened...brought out the worst out of you" Tashkent commented

"It did. And it's still here..."

"Comrade admiral...what if those geezers find out who you really are?"

Tashkent asked with a worried and somewhat terrified expression on her face.

"The truth is they contacted me and ordered me to observe you and report to them. Just like you expected, they're starting to make their move. What's your next plan, comrade?"

"..." Tirpitz didn't say a word

"Admiral?"

Tirpitz went silent for a while and deeply thought about what Tashkent had said.

"We can actually use that as an advantage"

"What?" Tashkent is confused

"They don't know I'm Tirpitz and they don't know you're a double agent. There's actually a way we can use that..."

Tashkent swallowed her breath, wondering what her admiral is up to and what she plan she has in mind.


UNBEKANNT

It's been two years since then, hasn't it. My memories are a bit vague sometimes, but I can remember who I am...who I was. I sat on a wreckage in some beach. It feels lonely...just like back then.

"Huh? That...person. That's right...she's..."

I laughed. Sometimes I tend to forget things and I would remember it again. Still, she is the only one my mind could never forget. It has been going on like this for two years. I just kept sitting, looking at the waves sweeping the sands of the beach.

"How I long for the old days..."

Whenever I would at the ocean, something deep inside me long to return to the old days where I would smile and laugh with everyone.

"If only I could go back..."

My heart ached just remembering the joy I felt when I was with everyone. Something deep inside me is in great sorrow. Something...someone is suffering. Who could it be?

"Is it me who's crying in the inside?"

I asked, but there is no response. It's quiet...but that's fine. I did what I had to do, so I never regretted it. There was no other choice back then.

"I'm sure she's still angry at me. I know her very well..."

It was sudden. I could never forget the look in her eyes when I made my choice. I didn't tell her, but I'm sure she had figured it out already. The confusion and the sadness...I saw it in her eyes. She doesn't know why I did it...but I had no regrets. On that stormy battle, I looked at her with no emotion and I turned my back...just to never come back...

"It was the only way"

For the past two years I keep telling that to myself. I keep questioning whether it's best to sacrifice my feelings and her feelings. It hurts...but I still I have no regrets.

"I hope all of you can forgive me one day..."

I lowered my head for a brief moment and couldn't help but smile. I'm taking to nothing as if someone is there to listen. Spending two years in solitude doesn't go well with my mental state.

"...I left without saying a thing again"

My hand gently covered my face as I laugh at my own suffering. It's pointless to cry, so why not just laugh it. Then again...this means I have gone insane. This soul crushing loneliness...makes me think how death would be the best option now.

In the end...I just realized...I really am just alone...