Title: Regaining Synchronization
Pairings: Klaine
Summary: My take on what should happen after the ending of BIOTA.
Spoilers: For BIOTA.
A/N: Just something that had to be written after today's roller coaster ride by the name of BIOTA.
*~K x B~*
Hearing the chime sounding from the swing-in doors of the café as Rachel rushed out of The Lima Bean jolted Kurt from his stunned state of mind. He blinked twice, before cocking his head in confusion, still trying to process what had just happened.
Clutching the cup of coffee in his hand tightly, Kurt was so lost in his thoughts and the general 'what-the-hell' feelings he had for Rachel and the general outcome of this whole entirely insane situation that he failed to notice that Blaine had returned from the restroom.
It was only Blaine's small and soft "Hey." that managed to bring him back to reality.
Kurt had looked at Blaine then, and before he could even contemplate whether he wanted to forgive Blaine for comparing him to Karofsky and dating Rachel Berry and making him feel awful for the past week, he was already replying back with the same soft and gentle tone.
"Hey." He had said.
And somehow, just that single word seemed to carry all the weight of the issues and bad feelings they had for each other during their fight, and as the syllable drifted off in the space between them, it seemed to leave an invisible force in its trail, dragging down the atmosphere, and both Blaine and Kurt looked away from the other at the same time, the awkwardness and unsaid sentences hanging like a bad premonition between them.
Words were powerful things, he realized at that exact moment, and Kurt suddenly wished that he had said nothing at all.
It was Blaine's turn at the counter now, and as he made his way forward to place his order (with a tiny quiver in his voice, which Kurt tried, but failed, not to notice), Kurt took the chance to head back to the table he had sat before with Rachel, taking in a deep breath as he lowered himself gingerly back onto the seat.
Breathe, he told himself, and try not to lose your temper this time.
Blaine sat down opposite him, and laid his cup of coffee gingerly down on the table. Suddenly it seemed that even the small, round table was mocking them, because Kurt had never felt so distant from Blaine before, and it terrified him.
Thankfully, it was Blaine who spoke first.
"So, I guess you heard what I told Rachel, right?"
Kurt nodded mutely in reply. He did not trust his voice not to fail him if he tried to speak —from joy, or relief, he did not know—but at least Blaine seemed placated by his response, because he breathed out a shaky sigh, and his shoulders dropped as if an invisible weight had been lifted from them.
For once, Kurt wondered if Blaine was as terrified as he was of the entire situation. And he couldn't help but marvel at it, because he had never known that someone as composed, charming and dreamy as Blaine could be feeling as scared of this—whatever this is between them—as he was.
And this reminded him so vividly of the fact that Blaine was human, and not some sort of twisted Prince Charming that he had thought out in his head, that the realization and self-awareness hit him with the intensity and speed of a thousand bullet trains.
Before Blaine could say anything, Kurt was already blurting out what he had wanted to say the whole week, ever since the moment Blaine walked out on him at this exact spot a week ago.
"I'm sorry."
Blaine blinked. And before Kurt could launch into his full blown tirade of apologies, Blaine opened his mouth, and said: "I'm sorry, too."
They both stared at one another for a moment, then they were both simultaneously saying a rushed and breathy: "I'm sorry.", again.
It was like both of them had been released from the invisible force crushing in on them, and Blaine's face lit up, even as Kurt knew that he was smiling like a lunatic.
Blaine reached across the table and took hold of Kurt's left hand, his fingers tightening around Kurt's knuckles just slightly, and said: "I'm one hundred percent gay, Kurt. And I'm sorry for what I said, especially the part where I compared you with Karofsky. You're not like him, and I was just feeling angry and frustrated, and I know I hurt you with that and all the things that I said and did. I feel like such a jerk now. Honestly Kurt, I'm sorry, I really am."
Blaine's voice cracked a bit at the end, but his eyes held Kurt's firmly, and Kurt felt like he was really seeing through Blaine's soul—his eyes were just twin orbs of warm and heated deep hazel, like hot chocolate melting on one's tongue, and it's easy to see how they shined openly in honesty, with a curious flicker of something deeper swirling in them, something much like remorse and anxiety.
Kurt could only smile as his eyes prickled, and he turned his left hand facing upwards as he wrapped his fingers around Blaine's hand and squeezed back gently.
"I know. Apology accepted." Kurt swallowed; a mysterious lump forming in his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice wavered.
"And I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said about bisexuality, I was just so pissed, I guess. But Blaine, I want you to know that whatever you choose to be or want to do, you'll have my support. I like you just the way you are. And I'm really sorry for everything I said."
They both shared a tentative, but apologizing smile, and when Blaine gave a small, incredulous laugh and muttered: "God, we're both idiots." Kurt knew that things between him and Blaine will be okay.
"That we are, Blaine." He replied, "I can't believe we just had our first fight."
Blaine shook his head slowly. "I can't believe it either. And I can't believe that I thought I might be attracted to Rachel!"
Kurt laughed, and Blaine just looked back at him with an indecipherable look on his face.
"I can't believe it too! At least choose someone better next time you want to have a sexual identity crisis, Blaine!" Kurt giggled gently at the end.
Blaine gave a low chuckle, the sound sending shivers down Kurt's spine, and the reality of Blaine finally determining that he was in fact, gay, filled Kurt with such a feeling of euphoria and relief that he had to remove his hand from Blaine's and take a sip of his coffee. If he didn't, he was sure that Blaine would have noticed how wet Kurt's eyes suddenly seemed to be, and Kurt knew that if Blaine pointed it out, he would be unable to contain his tears.
And crying was so not on his list of things to do, not when he was feeling so ridiculously happy and being with the guy he loves.
"God, I missed you, Kurt." Blaine breathes out, and Kurt paused, mid-sip of his coffee, and just stares back at Blaine.
Blaine just smiled, and took a sip of his own coffee. Kurt wondered if he imagined the slight tremble of the cup as Blaine lifted it up, but was too distracted by what Blaine had just said to think more on it.
Kurt realizes that he's practically gaping, and just mutters a weak, "What?"
"I mean it, Kurt. This week, without you, has practically been hell. I didn't even know how I used to function before I met you. You don't know how many times every single day that I would think about something I want to do with you, or say to you, or share with you, or how I just want to spend time with you, and I'll then realize that we're not speaking to one another. It's horrible. And it made me realize just how much a part of my life you are now." Blaine spluttered out, his words a bit jumbled and rushed as if he was afraid that if he didn't say it now, he would never be able to do it again.
Somehow, this made Kurt feels oddly warmed and comforted.
Blaine rubs the back of his neck, and heaving out a deep sigh, continued on.
"And well, once I realized how vital you are in my life, I just started missing you so much, and I just want you back, Kurt. I don't think I can stand it very much if we continued not speaking and being mad at one another. And—and well, I just guess that I wanted you to know how much you mean to me." Blaine's voice softened in the end, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat.
Really, Blaine was making it practically impossible for Kurt to get over him. And while Kurt laments the fact that he will be pining over Blaine for much longer, he wondered if he had truly ever wanted to get over Blaine at all.
Perhaps not, if he was being completely honest with himself.
"Blaine, if it's worth anything, I really missed you too. And I think I felt the same way as you do for this whole week, so you see, you're not alone in this." Kurt says, and it feels like the most daring thing that he had ever said to Blaine, because it left him feeling exposed and raw, and Kurt wonders if Blaine could see that Kurt was still in love with him, perhaps even more so now that he had seen this imperfect side of Blaine.
In which this was all sorts of ridiculous, because before when Kurt thought about the ideal person he would be with, he always imagined them to be perfect, flawless and just filled with endless charm and love for him. He never would have thought that he would love someone even more just because he got to know them better and see a side of the person that he has never seen before. Even if the side wasn't as perfect as he thought would be.
Blaine grins brilliantly back at him, and pleads, "Kurt, promise me that if we ever fight again, we won't stay mad at each other for more than one day, and that we will try to work things out by being honest with each other?"
Kurt laughs. "I agree. I know that I might be a bit temperamental and bitchy at times, but bear with me too, alright?"
Blaine nods enthusiastically. "Never again, Kurt, and I swear it, because now that I know, I don't think I'll be able to spend a day without you."
Kurt's heart thumped wildly in his chest, but he pushed down his urge to blush, figuring that Blaine was once again being his overly affectionate self, and replies good naturedly: "Well, I can't deny that I'm fabulous, that's probably why you can't get enough of me."
Blaine's eyes flicker with some unknown emotion, and Kurt can't shake the feeling that he had missed out on something important. Blaine replied cheekily: "Oh, so that's why. Well, don't worry, just stay with me always, and I promise I'll make it worth your time."
Kurt laughs at that, because Blaine was being so adorably geeky, and he misses the serious look in Blaine's eyes.
"Really, Blaine, you're ridiculous. But as much as I like to be flattered, I do have some sense of self-evaluation skills. I know that I had as much responsibility and blame in the fight as you do, so you really don't need to try so hard to get me back on your good side."
"Kurt," Blaine starts, but Kurt stops him with a raise of his hand.
"No, Blaine. I want to say this. Perfectly honest with each other, remember?" Kurt gives a trembling smile, and Blaine seemed struck still as he watches him.
"I was scared, Blaine. That's why I reacted so badly. If you were bi, it would mean that I'm left alone once again, being the only gay kid, and that," Kurt swallowed, looking down at the table—it was harder than imagined to say what he felt, but he needed to do this, so he pushed on, "that, made me so afraid, and I freaked out. I guess I kind of felt like you are going to abandon me, and I felt so betrayed, that I just did what I did without thinking."
Kurt looks back up at Blaine, and this time, he was the one being completely honest, and baring out his heart and mind.
"I've not been a very good friend to you, and I just want you to know that I really am sorry about it."
Blaine just looks at him. And for the fleeting moment, Kurt wondered if he had said too much.
But the next moment, Blaine was up and beside him, crouching down as he hugged Kurt tightly against his chest, and Kurt felt himself sagging against Blaine and returning the gesture, feeling utterly drained from all the emotional exhaustion.
"Oh, Kurt." Blaine breathes above him, and Kurt could feel each breath Blaine takes against the tips of his hair. It was soothing and manages to calm him down.
"Like I said, I'll never abandon you, Kurt. If you ever need me, I'll be there, okay? And get it through your head right now that you won't be alone, because I'm not going to get anymore doubts on me being utterly gay." Blaine states firmly, his hand rubbing gently at the nape of Kurt's neck.
Kurt breathes a shaky sigh of relief, and nods against Blaine's chest. Blaine pulls away, and Kurt's the one in turn to place a steady hand on his shoulder and says: "Thank you. And I'm saying the exact same things back at you, Blaine. Do you understand?"
Blaine nods while Kurt smiles.
And Kurt just watches as the sunlight from the outside streams in through the café window and lights up Blaine's face, highlighting the shades of his hair and lighting up his face as he beamed back at Kurt.
Suddenly, Kurt was too aware of every single detail of Blaine's face.
His eyes were now sparkling in different amazing hues as the light reflects off them, showing speckles of dark golden brown lighting around his irises, yet what's most amazing was how they seemed to practically radiate with emotion, and Kurt couldn't bring himself to look away.
Without realizing it, Kurt has already brought up a hand to brush at the few loose bangs falling slightly over Blaine's forehead, and at the first brush of his fingertips, Blaine's eyes darkened in intensity even as it took on an odd gleam as he gazed directly back at Kurt.
Kurt's breath caught in his throat, and he knew that this was one moment that he would forever preserve in his mind and heart for all of eternity.
When Blaine raised his own hand to grab hold of his and clutched it tightly between them, his eyes never once leaving Kurt's, Kurt suddenly felt a strong feeling of contentment.
It wasn't a sudden realization, more like the fact that he knew that they understood one another, and this knowledge was enough. Because although Kurt loves Blaine, he knows that he has only known a simple side of him, and their fight had just opened up Kurt's eyes to how much of Blaine that he has yet to discover. And even though he might be facing even more of Blaine's flaws, Kurt found that he honestly couldn't care less, because he wants to know Blaine, and that includes everything.
Without any reason, Kurt just knew that Blaine felt the same way too.
And that's why, at that exact moment, Kurt Hummel knew.
He knew that everything with Blaine was going to turn out just alright.
*~End~*
A/N: Hope you guys liked it~! =) Please read and review~!
