Iterations #175 - #256 – Everyone's Got A Secret

When you live it over and over again, you find there are things you can do. And things you can't do. And things you don't want to do. And things you have to do.


"Is this the first time we've had this conversation?" said Carter.

"The second," said Cage. "Two fingers."

"Right," said Carter. "So I've shown you the presentation then. You want to see it again?"

"I'm good," said Cage. "So ... you believe all this, then? How did that happen? How did Rita convince you?"

"A good trick if you're trying to gain allies," said Rita, "is to get someone to tell you something. A secret. Something you couldn't possibly know unless you were telling the truth about day-reset."

"Huh," said Cage. "And how do you do that, exactly?"

"Booze generally works."

"Huh," said Cage again. "Say, you wouldn't happen to – "

But Carter was already hauling an unopened bottle of whiskey from his locker. "I suppose I should say that this is my last one," he said. "But as far as you're concerned, I guess it isn't."


It was dark when Cage started to make his way back to the barracks. Skinner and Kimble came running up to him.

"Oi!" said Skinner. "You! You want to know what Farell made us do when you skipped off?"

"I already know," said Cage. "The truth is, I went to get this. You want some?" He pulled the bottle from his jacket.

"Uh ... " said Skinner.


It was dark when Cage got back to the barracks, to the room where J squad slept. He found Ford and shook him awake. He showed him the unopened bottle. "You want to join me?" he said.


Nance had almost finished the bottle and was still sober. A hard goddamn Louisiana skull on her. "You trying to get me drunk so you can nail me?" she said. "Cos I might be alright with that. Since it, you know, might be the last time."

Cage considered. It was not a bad offer, but it might make things more complicated than they already were. If that was possible. And could it accidentally transfer the power to her? Did it work that way? He'd have to ask Rita. And he kind of liked Nance, liked her bluntness, her take-no-BS 'tude. To foist the power onto her would be cruel, too cruel.

"Maybe a different game," he said. He pulled a pack of cards from his pocket and took five from the top. He looked at them and then showed them to her, and then put them face-down on the bench that they were using as a table. He invited her to scramble them around, which she did. "You pick a card, and if I can tell you what it is you have to tell me a secret," he said. "And no lying, because ... well, you know, tomorrow ... "

"Huh," she said. She picked a card.

"Seven of spades," he said.

She looked at it. Then at him. "You slippery prick," she said slowly. She threw the card down.

She thought about it for a while. Then she told him. Then she finished the bottle and started back for the barracks.

Remarkable, thought Cage. I got it first time.

He turned over the card that Nance had picked.

Jack of hearts.

He considered what she had told him. Then he thought: maybe some secrets can stay secret.


Carter was helping Cage into the jacket while Rita, on the far side of the training arena, was programming the simulation.

"The whiskey idea worked well enough," said Cage.

"The what?"

"Never mind."

"Tell me something, Cage. Have you ever thought of just, you know, splitting? Running off to somewhere far away, Australia maybe? Live out the next forty years – it might take the mimics that long to reach that part of the world – and then push the re-set button. Start again, go somewhere else. You could live for a long time that way."

"It's crossed my mind."

Carter nodded towards Rita. "She did it, you know. She told me she did. In the version right after the psych ward thing, she lit out for Brazil. But she came back soon after. Apparently. She said you start getting bad dreams. Maybe that's part of the visions, I don't know. But this re-set thing, it means you can do whatever you want without any consequences."

Hmm, mused Cage.

"I think she nearly broke," said Carter. "Nearly went nuts. She said once that she tried everything to get rid of the power. Booze. Drugs. Sex. Lot of sex. With anyone she could find. Even me, apparently. That's what she said. Wish I could remember it." He sighed.

"Is that how you two linked up?"

"Sort of. Actually, I've been in love with her since I first saw her. Before we even spoke. But, well, you know, she's her and I'm me. Anyway, don't tell her. That's my secret."

Cage glanced at Rita. Yeah, Rita would know. Even without the re-set power. Women always know.

The first mech-mimic came spinning towards him. It whacked into him, sending him flying.

"I wasn't ready!" he gasped.

"You think the real mimics will care if you're ready or not?" said Rita. "That was just a love-tap. Get on your feet, soldier. Play-time's over."

"We have to get over there," he said to Rita, shouting to make himself heard over the sound of battle. "That's where my squad is. J squad."


"Forget 'em, they're dead, sooner or later," said Rita. She rammed her sword into the mimic that Cage had wounded. "We have to keep going."

He looked at her. He wondered if she had been this way when she was stacking shelves. Probably.

"I can't leave them," he said. "If we save them, maybe they can help us." Without waiting for her to answer, he ran towards the crater where J squad was taking cover. He got there just as a mimic was digging out of the sand behind them. He ran around the lip of the crater, firing, driving it back down. He finished it off with two grenades.

"Holy ... shit," said Nance.

"Well, Private Cage, it looks as if you might be more than deadweight after all," said Sergeant Farell. "But where's your helmet, soldier?"

Another mimic was leaping at them but Rita launched into it, catching it in mid-air. It went down, and she hacked into it with her chopper-rotor blade. She wiped mimic-blood from her face.

"The Angel of Verdun," murmured Kuntz.

"Friend of yours, is she?" said Griff to Cage.

"We've met," said Cage.

Nance was looking over the edge of the crater with the field-glasses. "A heap of them, 500 metres," she said. "Closing fast."

Cage re-loaded his weapon.

"We can't help them," said Rita to him.

"We have to try!"

"No. No, we don't. In fact, we should leave them here as a decoy, so we can move on."

"As a what!?" said Skinner.

"Here they come, mean as hell and thick as grass," said Farell.

Rita stared at Cage. "If we stay here, we die here," she said.

Cage looked at the squad. "Then we die," he said. He hefted his gun.

"Arsehole," said Rita.

And then the mimics were on them.


"Forget 'em, they're dead, sooner or later," said Rita. "We have to keep going."

He looked at her. He wondered if she had been this way when she was stacking shelves. Probably.

"I can't leave them," he said.

"How many times have you tried to save them?" she said, as she rammed her sword into the mimic that Cage had wounded.

"A few," he said.

"Let me tell you something," she said. "At some point, you realise that something can't be done. I ... I tried to save someone. Hundreds of times. Didn't work. Shit happens. You wipe it off, you move on."

Cage nodded. He wondered how many times he had tried to save J squad. It was definitely more than a few. He knew that she was right. It couldn't be done. He hadn't been able to do it alone, and he hadn't been able to do it with Rita.

They hefted their weapons and ran on, going for a crashed dropship that might provide some cover. They were almost there when –


"Cos I might be alright with that," said Nance. "Since it, you know, might be the last time."

"I guess if you put it that way ... " said Cage. He took her in his arms and kissed her, gently, tenderly.

"But there's something I should tell you," she said softly. "It's my first – "

He put a finger on her lips. "I know," he said.

END