Prompt: Written for guyxmarian as part of their 'Lusty Month of May' ficathon. Request was for a tale pertaining to confessions. Can be Guy confessing the truth about something to Marian. Or Marian to Guy. Or both.
Beta-Reader: A huge thank you to inabsentialuci for all her help and wisdom! You freaking rock! =D
Additional Notes/Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place during the Season one finale 'A Word No'. No spoilers that I know of unless you're new to the scene and haven't finished season 1 in which case its probably best you watch it and return later ^^;;
Author's Note: My apologies for any and all mistakes. This is my first time writing as these two and it definitely strays from canon.
'Did you try and kill the King in the Holy Land?'
Marian's question was direct and without reprieve. It hung heavy in the morning air, leaving little room for Guy to breathe, much less think. He always knew the past would return to haunt him, it always did, he just never imagined that it would be none other than his betrothed who would throw it at his feet. If she noted his pallor or the hitch in his breath it did not show; she continued pressing the matter hard with the relentless determination that he both hated and loved about her. Yet it was not her voice he heard, rather the wisdom of another, once spoken to him years ago.
'To earn the trust of another is no easy task, Guy; it is something that must be tempered and hard earned. In this world, there is no greater or more fragile gift that a man can receive than to earn the full trust another.
'Do you remember the motto of our house, my son?'
His father's words replayed in his mind as Marian pressed on. In back of his thoughts Guy could almost hear the quiet voice of the innocent boy he had once been.
'With truth comes trust, from trust comes loyalty, and loyalty is honour.'
'Robin Hood?' The question was more of a statement. If she knew the truth there was only one man responsible for it.
'What of him?' she asked. In her eyes he saw what he did not dare allow himself to believe; history repeating itself all over again.
'Have you been talking to him?' he asked. The distraction was a desperate attempt to clear his head, to formulate his thoughts, to prepare himself for the inevitable. Her response was one of careful denial and a mouthful of lies. Guy knew better, yet for all the rage he should have felt only disappointment and dread consumed him. What good was a relationship if it was built solely on lies?
Nothing worth having comes easy, Sir. Only you can end the cycle.
This time it was Thornton's words that echoed in his mind. Guy knew what had to be done and it filled him with dread, for he knew the price he would pay for it.
'I cannot marry you if it were true,' Marian warned, as though sensing his thoughts. Frowning, the warrior turned to the small paned window that overlooked the Locksley estate. Beyond its glass, merchants, peasants and servants bustled about performing their daily duties with an indifference that Guy almost envied. If only his world were as simple as theirs.
'First you come here demanding answers. Then you tell me the only answer that will suffice is the one you wish to hear,' he said. 'You speak as though you cherish the truth, yet you, yourself, are a liar.' He had Marian's full attention now.
'How dare you!' she snapped. Her attempts to play the indignant innocent fell short and they both knew it.
'Don't bother,' he growled. 'I know you have been talking to Robin Hood. I also know you have no desire to marry me. You're not as clever as you'd like to believe,' he stated in dead tones. Her expression confirmed his every accusation; the truth always did cut to the core.
'If it is the truth you want, then you will have it,' Guy warned breaking the heavy silence that had fallen between them. He knew the truth would mark the end of everything he had ever dreamed. He also knew (as painful as it was to admit) that it was better to risk losing everything in order to start over than to continue a façade that could only end in pain.
Considering his words Marian studied him intently, suspicion and doubt etched on her perfect features.
'Speak then, Sir Guy.'
Her words so softly spoken both held him captive and tore at his heart. For in that moment he knew there would be no turning back. Turning back to the window he drew a deep breath, forcing his thoughts to clear. He could almost hear his father's voice reminding him that every noble knight worth his name was bound by honour to speak the truth. Guy wondered if his father was aware that truth was as much a weapon as it was a prized gift.
'The King is not returning to England,' he stated in flat tones. Folding her arms Marian merely furrowed her brow in silence. It was obvious she already knew the answer even before he spoke it. Guy expected her annoyance, what he had not counted on was the lack of relief in her eyes. She seemed more confused and saddened by his confession than enraged. Uncertain what to make of it, he continued in cautious tones. 'The sheriff saw it fit to keep me in the dark about that little detail 'til yesterday morning. When I learned the truth I immediately sought you out—your father said you were unwell,' he faltered feeling dangerously vulnerable.
'My father spoke of your visit at length. He never mentioned anything about this matter. So I must ask, did you really believe that I wouldn't find out?' she snapped. 'You said yourself that you know I want nothing to do with this wedding, so why did you try to keep that little detail a secret? Thought you could win my hand with lies and fear?'
'I could have kept silent but I didn't, Marian,' he said. 'I meant to tell you that morning but then your Father said you were excited about the wedding, and I had hoped-' his voice trailed off. There was no need to speak of that particular detail, not anymore. Even then, Guy knew it was little more than lies. It did not stop him from clinging onto the minute possibility that there had been some truth to the old man's words. For that reason alone he had held his tongue.
'So if the King is not returning, then what exactly is the Sheriff planning?" she asked. He never had a chance to reply, as Marian turned ashen. In that instant, Guy knew her thoughts had turned to her father; more exactly his safety. With a sharp gasp she picked up her skirts and quickly turned heel, intent on a swift departure. Unfortunately for her, Guy was faster. Grasping her wrist, the knight forced her to stop in her tracks.
'Leaving so soon? Thinking of running off to warn your father, to tell Robin Hood? Don't bother, the Sheriff and his men will be expecting him,' he snapped. Marian's eyes grew wide with fear and concern. 'For all his talents, I don't think even he is capable of taking on the Black Knights with or without assistance.'
'What does the Sheriff intend to do?' she demanded. This time it was her fingers wrapped tightly around his arm.
'It is none of your concern!' he growled. He had no love for the Sheriff, yet even he knew better than to bite the hand that fed him.
'When our country's security has been compromised then it is my business!' she said.
'Really, I was not aware that you were the Queen,' he retorted. 'Truly Marian, this does not concern you, nor does it concern your father or his safety. For once stay out of it! You'll only make matters worse!' he warned as he held her gaze.
'And the King's assassination in the Holy Land? The Sheriff responsible for that too?' she asked. Guy hissed a soft curse as he released his grip on her wrist. Glancing away he ran a hand through his hair; what more did he have to lose, now that he had lost it all.
'I was ordered to stage my illness, and then sent to collect warriors loyal solely to Prince John and to the Sheriff,' he quietly confessed, believing she already knew the truth. He was unable to ignore the strange weight that had been lifted from his shoulders.
'You wretched traitor! I should have known!' she accused, moving to strike Guy with a blow that was certain to have knocked him unconscious had he not been quick to evade it.
'Would you have preferred I lied in this as well?' he growled. Furious she attempted to attack once more, but years of training and a life on the streets had taught him speed and agility. Grasping her by the shoulders the Black Knight struggled once more to gain her attention. He did not expect her to understand, but he had to try. 'What choice did I have in the matter, Marian? Not all of us are graced with good fortune, or granted powerful allies who can afford chivalry!'
'You should have fought for the King, not stayed back like some coward hiding behind Visey's cloak!' she argued. Guy's patience was wearing thin leaving him little room left for her ignorance and pious attitude.
'Coward? Is that what you believe?' he balked. 'You know nothing of what I've had to endure to get to where I am now, nothing at all!' he said. Wrenching free of his grasp Marian glared up at him but did not move away as he had expected.
'Do you really expect me to believe that this isn't about power, or money, or titles?' she challenged. Guy held his tongue as he scowled back at her. It was a struggle to clear the rage that threatened to consume his thoughts.
'You once told me that there was something very wrong with this country, you were right. England needs a King who understands the meaning of duty, a man who is loyal to his country, to his people. Not some fool with his head in the clouds off chasing after dreams of glory. I lost my parents, my home, my inheritance, and my future because of the Crusades. And you can be certain I am not the only one who paid the price because our noble King decided to play war in the Holy Land.'
'And that gave you the right to play judge, jury and executioner against your King?' Marian queried, sending a chill down Guy's spine. It was not her melodic voice he heard, rather the rich tones of his deceased father, speaking the very question that haunted his every nightmare since that fateful night in Acre.
'It was not my decision to make,' he quietly admitted after a long silence. 'You ask me why I did it, why I betrayed my country, why I turned on the king; I did it out of duty. I did it for them, my family. Would you begrudge me for wanting to defend their memory? When you, yourself, were willing to marry me for the sole purpose of defending your own? Loyalty is a double-edged sword, Marian.'
Certain she would cast judgment, Guy was startled to feel the warmth of her fingers resting against his arm. Risking a glance, their eyes met and in her gaze he saw a flicker of understanding, she may not have condone his actions but in that moment he knew that she understood why he did what he did.
'I'm sorry, I never knew,' she said in soft tones.
'It's a dark tale, hardly the sort one shares with a lady,' he admitted with a sad smile. 'What does it matter? You have your truths and now your freedom. That is what you want is it not?' For the first time, Marian could not meet his gaze. There was no pleasure felt over her obvious shame and guilt.
'I'm not like most highborn ladies,' she softly replied. In another time he might have scoffed at the blatant understatement of her words. The air was far too heavy for teasing or mockery.
'No, you are not. It still does not change the fact that there are some things I am not ready to share with anyone, much less you. Perhaps in time-' he faltered uncertain what more to say without crossing the fragile understanding that was budding between them. In the end it was not necessary.
'When I have earned your trust?' Marian gently cut in.
'Will I ever earn yours?' he asked instead. Her silence spoke volumes; another understanding neither dared to admit.
'I don't know, one day perhaps,' she admitted. 'I can neither condone your actions, nor marry you because of it. But I at least understand why you did what you did—and your honesty-that, I had not expected, it gives me hope,' she said.
Startled by her sincerity, by the lack of rage he saw in her eyes, Guy stared at her for a moment. He was accustomed to her rage, her fiery accusations and pious attitudes; this was a side of Marian he had never witnessed before. 'Hope for what exactly?' he asked in cautious tones. As painful as her refusal was to accept, the knight could not rule out the possibility of a second chance; he had to know for certain.
'That one day, perhaps maybe, there will be no more secrets between us,' she quietly confirmed. The wedding may have been over, yet Guy could not ignore the budding hope that not everything was entirely ruined between them. Not about to let this opportunity slip between his fingers he pressed on.
'And until then?' he asked. Marian breathed a shaky sigh. In her eyes he saw that she was caught in a private debate; a struggle he was not meant to witness.
'Do you trust me?' she asked after a long moment's pause. Guy did not know how to respond. In truth, he trusted no one, her least of all; it was not the answer she would want to hear.
'Give me a reason and I will,' he quietly answered.
'I could ask the same of you, Sir Guy,' she replied in soft tones. In silence they studied one another as the air grew heavy with all that was unspoken, until he could take it no longer.
'My father used to tell me that friendship was built on honesty and trust. If we are to remain friends, then we both must learn to speak plainly with one another. No more lies, no more secrets, no more games.' A bold suggestion, one he did not expect her to readily agree. To his immense surprise, she weakly nodded her assent.
'A truce then?' she gently asked.
'If my lady wills it,' he quietly answered. Biting her lip Marian looked beyond the window to where the villagers went about their business making last minute preparations for the wedding that would no longer be happening. He dreaded the idea of having to break the news to them. He knew they would be relieved to learn the Lady of their former Lord will no longer be wedded to his arch-nemesis. Marian's softly spoken voice drew him from his dark thoughts.
'If we are to truly start over, then there is something you should know,' she said. 'But only on the condition that whatever follows you will not back out on your word, that you will keep my father safe.'
'Of course, you have my word,' Guy asked. 'What is it Marian?' he pressed on feeling both curious and suspicious of the secret she was about to share. Nothing could have prepared him for the confession that was to come.
'I know who robbed you of your wealth,' the young maiden began in careful tones. He did not know how to respond.
'You know the identity of the Nightwatchman?' he balked in disbelief.
Ignoring his interruption, she pressed on. 'Do I have your word? You will not allow harm to come to my father?' It was only after he swore on his honour that her father would remain safe did Marian continue. The young woman's gaze turned towards the bustling world beyond the small paned window of his hall. Clearly nervous, her fingers lightly tapped against the window's wooden ledge, adding to his impatience.
'Tell me Marian. I need to know, is it one of Robin Hood's men? ' he demanded. 'Is Robin Hood behind it?'
'No, Robin is innocent of this—this was entirely my doing,' she quietly confessed.
'What are you saying?' he asked, uncertain if he heard correctly.
Turning back to him Marian gave a cryptic, yet sad smile. 'It was me, Sir Guy,' she said. In silence he watched as the young maiden carefully adjusted the over cloak of her gown revealing beneath a thick set of bandages covering her lower waist. The faint stain of blood that was seeping through the white cloth spoke more than words ever could. As he stared in horrified disbelief to the bandaged wound a cold sense of dread poured over him. There was no need to speak of the matter further, for he already knew what she was about to say.
Marian was none other than the Nightwatchman.
The very truth he sought so desperately to discover had become the one truth he could no longer face.
