Matt isn't really sure when he fell for his best friend


Matt isn't really sure when he fell for his best friend. At the age of thirty two he genuinely can't remember his life without her, he's known her for so long. He tries to remember important things that have happened in his life, and she's there for all of them. When he made the varsity football team as a freshman she was at every game, and when his parents divorced and his mom went to jail he spent more time at her house than his aunts where he was living. When they graduated high school, when they graduated college. When he was in the academy she helped him study. She was there when he met Hallie, and when they broke off their engagement. He remembers all the important things that happened to her, and if you asked either of them they could probably tell the others life story.

The point is Matt can't remember Gabby not being around. Maybe that's why him starting to fall in love with her isn't a set point on a timeline, it's blended in with the times she stayed with him in the hospital and comforted him when Hallie broke his heart and cooked for him, dancing in his kitchen. Or maybe he's just always been in love with her all this time, and has just been ignoring it. Either way, it's killing him at this point.

Maybe he starts to realize when her and Shay walk in from a call, Gabby holding a cake in her hands. Otis automatically grabs for it and she swats his hand away. Walking over to Matt grinning, she sets the cake down in front of him, sitting down next to him.

"Happy best friend-iversary." Matt rolls his eyes and smiles at her, taking the cover off of the cake.

"Seriously, Gabs? How old are we now."

"Uh, thirty two. Don't even act all annoyed, you're the one who made this up."

"When we were six."

A few of the guys chuckled. "Well, I'm pretty sure being friends for twenty six years warrants a cake. And if anyone makes fun they don't get any cake." Mills grabs a knife from the kitchen and Matt starts cutting slices, glancing over at Gabby and Shay every once in a while. He mouths a thank you as he passes her a slice and the beaming smile she gives him in return makes his stomach drop in a way he's never felt before. When she asks if he wants to go out to breakfast after shift he feels like his heart is in his throat but he manages to respond with a yes. Luckily before she can make any more conversation they Shay and Gabby get a call. Matt feels his face flush when she kisses him on the cheek on their way out. He heads to his office to try and figure out why the hell simple affections from his best friend are making him feel like a kid with a crush.


"Your feet are freezing." Matt complains as Gabby brings her feet up onto his lap. She simply scowls at him and pushes her feet harder against his skin before he swats them away, leaning over to grab a piece of pizza.

The nice thing about being best friends with Gabby was that she always knew when he needed cheering up and always knew exactly how to do so. She'd shown up at his house about 20 minutes ago, pizza and wine and a DVD of some movie he'd never seen in tow. After the call they had today her being there was enough, but everything else would also help. He remembers as a kid when Matts other friend Ryan moved away, Gabby slept over and cheered him up. Of course at that time they'd watched Disney movies and eaten ice cream, but it was still very much the same. Being around Gabby was comforting.

"What do you think you'd be doing if you weren't a firefighter?" She asks him between bites. He glances over at her, trying not to think about how much he likes the way she looks right now. Her hair up in a bun and her shorts showing off her legs and how adorable she looks when she scrunches up her nose in distaste at what's going on on screen.

"Maybe work construction. But you know, own my own company."

She snorts. "You just don't like working under people. Always have to be the boss."

He rolls his eyes, pinching one of her toes. "Would you work there with me?"

"As your secretary or something? Hell no. If anything I'd own the place and you'd be my second in charge." He grins at that, knowing it's probably true. Despite how they butted heads sometimes, he'd always admired how bossy and straightforward she is.

"Remember that time Jordan complained to the teacher how you took control of the whole project?"

He laughs at how annoyed she looks despite the fact it was well over 10 years ago. "That kid was so whiny." She shoves her foot at him, turning back to the TV screen. "We just missed so much of the plot, stop talking."

Despite rolling her eyes and muttering about how she over exaggerates everything, he thinks he'd like to do this every night when they come home from shift.


"Do you think the whole best friend thing is lame?" Gabby asks him as she's eating the takeout they ordered. He's been trying to avoid her to get over this dumb crush, but she realized something was up. After finally cornering him, he figured it was impossible to avoid her forever, so he made plans with her. They were going out for drinks with everyone after, but right now he was picking at some lo mein he doesn't even feel like eating. He probably wouldn't have ordered it if it weren't Gabby's favorite honestly.

"No. I mean that's what we are isn't it?"

"Yeah but we're thirty." The look on her face is adorable and Matt wants to kiss the small frown off of her lips, so he looks back down.

"Thirty two. But it's not like we go around calling each other that often. Plus we've known each other since we were six. We've been through everything together." She nods slowly, and worried about what she's thinking he decides to continue talking. "Maybe the word seems childish, which I don't think it does. I think it's more the implications. I'm always there for you, you're always there for me. We can tell each other anything." Except for the fact that I think I'm in love with you, he thinks, but figures that would be better off not said. A smile graces her face again and he decides now that she's content with his answer he'll push her buttons a little. "Like when you told me about losing your virginity to Tyler Ross."

She groans and then shoots a glare at him. "I regret telling you that. So, so much. That was so embarrassing." He just grins at her and she flings a chopstick at him which he manages to dodge. "You're lucky I don't make fun of you that one time you got drunk at that party."

Matt shook his head. "We don't talk about that."

"But we should. The guys would love that story!" She has a wicked grin on her face as Matt gets serious, making sure he's still smiling a little so she doesn't assume he's mad at her.

"You wouldn't. I know far too much about you for you to be telling my secrets."

They both agree they won't be spouting each others secrets anytime soon, and head to the bar they're meeting the guys and Shay at. On the ride over Matt thinks about how in middle school he found Gabby just as beautiful as he did now. The only difference is that then looking at her for too long didn't make his heart feel like it would beat out of his chest.


Matt developed a fever, and about halfway through shift he passes out while they're all eating. Chief makes Severide drive him home, and all he can do before collapsing into bed is take off his shoes. He awakes at around 3 in the morning. Seeing his phone lit up on the bedside table, he grabs it, groaning at the harsh light and overall ache in his body. He has four messages and a missed call , all from Gabby.

planning on coming to check on you after shift

don't worry, i'll bring pancakes and soup and ginger ale

also the first season of grey's anatomy. you can act like you hate it, but i know you secretly enjoy when i force you to watch it

text me when you read these to let me know how youre doing

He picks up his phone, responding.

barely alive. kidding of course, dont worry. about to go back to sleep, im looking forward to that soup

Looking forward to her company too. Putting his phone down he goes to the bathroom, then drinks two cups of water before putting on a hoodie and some sweatpants. Seeing he has another message he opens it. It's only a

:)

but it makes him smile. He goes to sleep, and dreams about Gabby.

He wakes up feeling ridiculously hot to sound in his kitchen. Rubbing his eyes he stretches and kicks the sheets off. He's still sick, but sleeping for so long helped. Assuming the noise from the kitchen is Gabby and not a burglar he decides not to get up, instead closing his eyes, contemplating whether or not to take some medicine.

As cheesy as it seems, her smile is medicine enough, because when she walks into the room he swears he feels a million times better. She's carrying a plate of pancakes with some fruit, a water bottle and a glass. She sets everything down on his bedside table before pressing a kiss to his forehead and climbing over him, settling down next to him on top of the covers.

"You feeling better?" He leans closer to her, nodding. When he sits up more, she wraps her arm around his shoulder, bringing her hand up to stroke at his cheek. He swears he could melt into her touch and brings his face to rest on her shoulder, glad when her hand follows and she continues to soothe him. "Shift was boring without you." He simply grunts in response, not wanting to speak. He feels like this moment is far too nice to ruin.

They sit like that for a while, and Gabby stays for lunch, making him soup. They watch far too much Grey's Anatomy and Gabby stays for dinner, almost staying the night before realizing she has stuff to get done at home. The entire time he insists she should leave because she'll get sick, but she refuses saying that he's worth getting sick for. Matt knows he's done for when she hugs him on the way out and kisses his cheek. When she gets sick and is off shift, he makes sure to also buy some chocolate cupcakes since he knows they're her favorite.


"I have a date." Matt is pretty sure those are the worst words he's heard come out of Gabby's mouth. And he knows he has no reason to be jealous, she isn't obligated to be with him, and it's not like he's made his feelings known or anything. But he still feels ridiculously jealous, and realizes he hasn't even responded yet when she says "are you okay? You look a little tense right now."

He simply nods and she gives him a concerned look before going back to looking at her phone. Thankfully no one else is in the common area. Shay cornered him the other day asking why he's been acting all weird around Gabby. Though he said he hasn't and everything was fine, she told Severide because Severide's been weirdly concerned about his well being lately.

"Who is he?" Gabby looks up and gives him a smile before her face turns serious and she points a finger at him.

"You're not going to go find him and intimidate him. Besides, he's a cop. I'm sure he can't be that bad."

"Voight's a cop, he was that bad." She simply rolls his eyes at him before going back to her phone. "So he works with Antonio?"

"Yup, met him when I was dropping something off for Antonio the other day." Matt just nods. He spends the next hour before they get a call trying to stay busy, trying not to imagine Gabby on a date with some guy who's not him. It's selfish but he doesn't want another guy touching her, doesn't want her to spend her Saturdays sitting around with someone else and not him. The more he thinks about it they're practically a couple, all that's left is the intimacy. He spends so much of his time with her he thinks maybe he's just assumed he's one of the only guys she has room for in her life. Scolding himself for being too possesive over something that's not even his, he lets the idea drop.

Severide asks if he's okay for about the 7th time this week, saying he's been zoned out. He insists everything's okay for the 7th time. When they get back from a call, he has to force himself not to stare at her. Because she's beautiful when she laughs, and he just wants to hold her, and it kind of makes his heart hurt if he's being honest.


The next time Severide asks him if he's okay, he can't help it when he says no. Gabby's been all smiley since her date and he feels desperate and terrified and sad and happy for her all at the same time. Severide takes him out for a beer, and Matt explains his predicament.

"Just tell her how you feel."

Matt groans, finishing off his beer before responding. "That's not the advice I wanted."

"That's the only advice that can be given."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way. What if I ruin our friendship? We work together." The thought of having to see Gabby everyday and know that he fucked up what they had for something that would never happen is something he doesn't want to think about.

"Look, Gabby loves you. Whether it's as a friend or more, there's no way she'd just let your friendship go. You mean way too much to her. And if she's seeing this guy, you want to do this soon."

Matt knows Severide's right, he just needs to build up the courage. They spend the rest of the night talking about sports and calls and Matt is glad to get his mind off of Gabby for a few hours.


When Boden comes in and says that Dawson and Shay somehow got stuck in a hostage situation he thinks Matt panics. None of the guys say anything about him pacing likely because of how worried they also are. Severide attempts to comfort him but the attempt is futile and Matt ends up going to his office. He's been pacing this whole time and thinks he might actually cry because of how worried he is when the door opens and Severide tells them the girls are back.

Apparently they lost one of the victims and one is in the hospital in critical condition. No one talked about what actually happened, and he doubts Shay or Gabby will anytime soon. He heads to the bathroom to find Gabby in there. She washing her hands and biting her lip so hard she'll probably draw blood soon. Her face is blank but when she notices he's there she attempts to smile, drying her hands. He hugs her, and she hesitates at first but holds him tightly. He can feel her tears soaking through his shirt and he rubs his hand against her back trying to soothe her. He's pretty sure someone walks in and leaves immediately, but they stand there for an hour.

She comes over after shift, heading into his room to lie down without saying anything. He starts the dishwasher and folds some clothes before going in to check on her. She's asleep, and he decides not to wake her.

When she emerges from his room a few hours later in his sweatpants Matt knows he has to tell her. She walks over and sits down next to him on the couch, leaning her head against his shoulder. He takes her hand in his. "Want to talk about it?"

He feels her shake her head slightly. "Not really. Kind of want to talk about anything other than it."

He nods, and his stomach goes into a knot, and his thoughts are in a frenzy wondering what exactly he should say and if this is the appropriate time and.. "I love you."

It wasn't exactly how he wanted to start, and he wishes he'd said something else when she simply says she loves him too.

"No, Gabby. I'm in love with you." His mouth feels like it's full of cotton and he isn't sure if he can say anything else. But when she lifts her head off his shoulder and opens her mouth he figure he should explain himself. "I just, I love you. I don't know when I realized it, but. I've spent the last twenty six years with you by my side, and I want you to be here for the rest of my life. As more than my best friend. I want you to live here with me, and you can teach me how to cook. We'll go to work together, and we can get married, and get a dog. Anything you want." He barely remembers anything he just said, and he thinks his heart might stop when she speaks again.

"How long have you felt this way?" The expression on her face is neutral, and he's not sure whether it's a good or bad thing.

"A while now."

She nods, and they sit there for what feels like forever. 'You idiot." There's a small smile on her face and Matt just sits there waiting for her to elaborate on that. "You know I had a huge crush on you in middle school?" She goes back to where she was originally sitting, her head against his shoulder. There hands are still intertwined.

"I did not."

"Well I did. And I got over it. We were best friends, I didn't want to ruin that."

"You wouldn't have."

"Well, when I started having feelings for you a while back I figured I'd do the same. You know, get over it. I didn't."

"So…"

"So, you should've told me sooner." She sits up to face him and she has a huge smile on her face. "Is this why you've been acting all weird around me?"

He tries to tamper down his smile but it doesn't work. "You noticed?"

"Of course I noticed, you're my best friend."

Matt pulls her closer and kisses her, and he'd being lying if he said he wasn't overjoyed when she kissed him back. He wished he'd told her all of it sooner. He thinks about how people always say you should marry your best friend, and he knows he's going to.