Tom, you're scum, you think girls are easy

the only word to describe you would have to be sleazy!

First you flatter, then scatter, then come back to flirt

And next time you see me, you'll treat me like dirt

If you see girls as real as what you can feel

Then you're living a fantasy

Your daydreams are chaotic, and autoerotic

You must play all alone now 'cause you can't have me.

You're a cheater, a prick and a nasty mean liar

One of these days I'll set you to fire

I hope you don't come back, but heaven forbid

Choosing my options I'll take the lake's squid

Oh, Tom! you're a menace, you really should die

set all the girls free from that spell, they won't mind

At your funeral, Tom, we'll have fun and play games

And no one at all will remember your name.