I don't remember much from my childhood.
I try not to.
I don't remember my parents, I don't remember a home
I just remember the tests.
When I close my eyes and really think back it all merges into a hazy blur of wires and pipes,writhing like black snakes around my head. The moments I do remember I wish I didn't.
I recall when I was five sitting crying in a cell, sobbing as soft brown hair fell loosely from my head. A side effect from the tests they told me, just like the side effect that made my blood itch like my veins were filled with ants, or when my fingernails cracked and blew away like dust.
I didn't know how I ended up there, I remember some vague comments I overheard from scientists about "advancing mental state" and "the future of human development" but I didn't care, I hated them and I didn't want to listen.
For years I was trapped there, my days filled with surgeries and injections, I was convinced I would die in that hell.
Then, that beautiful day, there was a breakthrough, my mind was opened in ways I couldn't begin to describe. I could lift things with my eyes, manipulate objects without being near them, shatter metal and crack stone with just a wave of my hand. When I discovered what they had done to me, I was terrified, but I knew this new power was my only way to escape.
Oh they tried to stop me, but perhaps their experiments were more of a success then they expected and I wasn't about to let them take me back.
I staggered away from the rubble that was left behind, dusty and disheveled, ashamed and yet elated in my escape. I knew I wasn't free, I knew I had to run, and keep running
For the rest of my life.
I sat on the train tired and sick. My blouse was stained and my skirt wrinkled but I didn't care. I was so exhausted I had to rest, I couldn't keep going this way. I lifted my heavy eyes and peered through the muggy window at the daunting skyscrapers hurtling closer towards us.
Gotham. I had read stories about this city, filled with psychopaths and vigilantes. With so much insanity perhaps I could be overlooked to just sink into obscurity and hide away, I didn't know if it was a good idea to walk so willingly into such a dangerous place, but I didn't know where else to go and I had to stop, it had been too long since I had just been myself.
As the train squealed into the station, I grabbed my bulging rucksack and swung its weight over my shoulder, taking one last glance around the train before breathing heavily and stepping out into the cold, bitter morning.
I walked those disgusting filth ridden streets for hours, looking for anywhere to sleep for a while. I was tempted to simply curl up in an ally but the looming glares of thugs and thieves as I passed made it clear that this was not a place to be letting my guard down so easily. Eventually I stumbled upon a shabby hotel and as I stared up at the grimy windows I realized this was probably my only choice. I fumbled in my backpack and pulled out a small stash of crumpled notes. I had no idea if it was enough but I didn't have any other choice.
I staggered to the counter and dropped my bag heavily by my feet, ringing the bell that stood on the desk. For a few moments there was nothing, and then, just as I reached for the bell again, a greasy middle-aged man staggered from a back room and loomed above me,
"Good morning" no reply, "Erm...I was just wondering...If you had a room available?" He smacked his tobacco stained teeth and stared at me a while before grinning,
"Name?" he ran his fat tongue over his lips as he pulled up a logbook and opened it, never once breaking his gaze, I faltered, my name? My brain raced as I tried to think of something,
"Emily...Emily Banks" I mumbled after a painfully awkward silence. The name had been that of scientist I vaguely recalled, but I doubted anyone would notice if I adopted it for a little while. He scribbled away with a blunt pencil before holding up a single key,
"Room 18, $30 a night" I looked helplessly at the feeble pile of notes in my hand,
"I'm a little short" I muttered embarrassed, avoiding his unbreaking stare, I expected him to snatch the key away and turn me out into the streets, but instead came that crooked smile of his,
"Oh now, I'm sure a pretty young thing like you can think of some other way to cover that" I looked up at him, part unsure, part disgusted, and his leering face answered my uncertainty. I laughed nervously, trying to break that horrid silence, his eyes flickered up and down my body, but then he placed the key on the desk and pushed it towards me "Just for tonight"
I picked the key up carefully and placed down the few notes I had, before hurriedly grabbing my bag and marching swiftly towards the stairs. Even as I kept my back upon him I could still feel those eyes on me. My heart pounded and my arms shook, was that normal? Was it just the Gotham sense of humor? I had no way of telling and I didn't want to find out.
The room was bleak and damp, but I hardly noticed. I locked the door behind me, threw my bag into a corner and landed heavily on the itchy bed. In my sleep deprived state it was the most comfortable thing I had ever felt. I wriggled onto my back and stared at the sun flickering hazily across the ceiling, letting my eyes follow a long crack that eased from the window to the far corner of the room. I breathed in and smelt the musky blankets and dust ridden pillows and for the first time in forever, I felt content, like tomorrow was beckoning and there was finally a chance for me to be happy. As these thoughts whirled in my mind I drifted off slowly into a deep, peaceful sleep.
A creaking sound woke me. The room was by then pitch black, and the soft hum of traffic and vague wail of sirens drifted outside the window. I lay silent for a moment, holding my breath, a habit I had developed when suddenly awoken, and as I lay there a fear swept over me. I wasn't alone.
I sat bolt upright in my bed to see a dark figure towering over the end. I almost screamed, but the air caught in my throat and all I could manage was a raspy gasp. My eyes adjusted to the dark slightly and I could make out the crooked smile of that man from the desk. My stomach sunk.
"How bout that payment" I had no time to react before he pounced heavily onto me, I tried to cry out but his rough grubby hand plastered itself upon my mouth. I couldn't move, his heavy body forcing mine further into the bed, his hand pushing so hard upon my mouth I could scarcely breathe. "Shh now" He whispered, I could feel the sweat of his lip upon my ear and I began to silently sob, not that he took any notice.
As I lay under that vile creature, I realized this was my life, this would always be my life, people didn't care about me, I was put on this earth to be abused for no other reason then to fill the sick pleasures of disgusting human beings.
Hours later I sat huddled over, clutching my knees, the tears falling fast onto the bed around me as the man, oblivious to my misery, walked away towards the door. I wanted to scream, I wanted to hurt him, I knew I could have, I could at any time, but if people found out what I could do it would be for nothing, they would probably turn me in, and then it would be straight back to the slicing and the needles, I just had to stay calm, just stay calm,
"Hey" I looked up in surprise and through my tears stared at the man who now stood framed in the doorway,"Welcome to Gotham" He chucked smugly to himself as he closed the door and I stared into the emptiness after him, his words ringing dimly in my mind.
I would have left Gotham after that first night, but now I had no money, and no one to turn to. I had fled from the hotel the next morning and was now on the streets. It was icy and wet and the people were ruthless, I was punched and threatened so much I began to feel it was just the way people greeted me. I spent most my nights sobbing among the dumpsters behind an old restaurant and during the day I would shuffle through the busy streets with my head bowed, my face hidden with my hair.
Then everything changed.
It was a particularly cold evening, and I had taken shelter from the winds in an ally behind a jewelers when I noticed a group of men hurrying towards me. I had stood myself in a small alcove to protect myself from the bitter wind, so I knew they probably wouldn't notice and I continued to watch in fascination as they stopped by a back door and began to mutter to each other, their faces, rough and scarred, illuminated by a slim slither of light. One of them bent towards the locked door and another hurried past me to the other side of the ally, never even glancing in my direction. I turned my head back in time to see the largest of the group pull out a pistol from inside his coat and suddenly, it clicked, they were robbing the place.
I stared intrigued but petrified, I had never stolen myself, not yet, I had made done with the food I had found in bins, which had once made me very ill, but I had always resisted stealing. These men very clearly didn't need the jewels they were attempting to steal, and yet...
I began to panic a little, a niggling voice in the back of my head told me to stop them, to step forward to speak out against the villains of this horrible town, another told me to get out of there before they saw me.
The door clicked and the other men patted the man bent towards the door. I waited for an alarm, but none seem to sound. It was now or never, did I stand up to them, or run away...like I always did
"HEY!" The word left my mouth before I could stop it. There heads snapped to look in my direction with the barrel of a gun pointed straight towards me. I knew I didn't have to fear them, but my legs wobbled and my heart pounded as I took a step forwards,
"It's just some bum" One of them laughed. I swallowed and took another step forward, "This is none of your business" He spat
"Just..leave now, and we'll forget I saw you" I stammered, they looked at each other in confusion, I was sure my legs were about to collapse, "You don't have to do this..." I instantly hated myself for saying anything, some looked angry, the rest seemed amused,
"Shut up" The largest drawled, before raising the gun sharply to my head. It all happened in a few seconds but time seemed to slow around me. I saw as the loaded weapon rose forcefully to my skull, and then continue to rise as I lifted it sharply into the sky with my mind and crushed it like a discarded wrapper.
Their faces dropped in horror and shock. I panted, adrenaline pounding through my body. It took me a few moments to realize I was smiling, proud of my small victory. I raised my hands to show I didn't want to harm them,
"Now...just leave..and we'll for-"
"NOW!" They screamed, I frowned in confusion, before a violent blow pounded me to the ground. As my vision blurred, I saw them walking cautiously towards me,
"This is it" I thought as I slumped my cheek against the icy floor, then, darkness.
I awoke hazy and confused, my head throbbing unbearably. I groaned and opened my eyes, the light was harsh and forced me to squint as I tried to understand what had happened. Where was I? How long had I been out? I tried to raise my hands to rub my eyes only to find them bound tightly to the chair I was resting on. Blinking heavily, I stared desperately at my hands and then around the room. It was pleasant, with a high ceiling and plush furniture, but it made me sick with fear and I stared towards the door. I could have just broken my restraints and ran out, but I didn't know what was behind there, and I didn't want to find out.
Just as I was thinking this, a key entered the door on the other side and unlocked it, my stomach lurched and I held my breath preparing for the worst. A man poked in his head, I couldn't be certain, but he looked a lot like the man who had tried to shoot me in the ally. It all came back and instantly it dawned on me how much trouble I had probably got myself into.
He said nothing to me, but instead pulled his head from the door and called somewhere into the halls behind him, "Boss - she's awake"
I stared again at the restraints, "Just break them" I thought "They can't stop you, you could just get out of this town, run far far away from all this" The door swung open and I jolted upright in shock.
A man, the likes of which I had never seen, stood before me. He was short, round and dressed in exquisite fashion with a deep violet umbrella he seemed to use as a cane. His face was not young, that was for sure, and his nose was long and hooked, like the beak of a bird jutting alarmingly ahead of him. He stared at me with a look no one had ever given me before...excited almost? Like he could see something in me that was truly thrilling.
He strode into the room and a henchman hurried in after him and prepared a chair for him which he took directly in front of me. Another henchman walked to me and pressed the barrel of a pistol into my temple,
"Don't try anything" I heard him growl beside me, but I barely noticed, I was watching the man on the chair before me with awe-stuck eyes, he oozed power, he demanded respect, and I was enthralled. He leaned towards me purposely before speaking, his voice polite but firm,
"It's a pleasure to meet you my dear, my name is Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot and I've been told I simply must meet you"
