A frustrated groan left my throat as I walked an empty street, adjusting my backpack around my right shoulder.
Getting fired really sucked. Didn't help that it was the thirteenth time this week, a new personal record. So what if I lost my temper a punched the third moron of a customer who doesn't understand the words "I can't help you, go bother someone else", the dicks.
Once again my temper got me out of a job, much to no one's surprise. I had grown a bit famous because of it. The "Hair Trigger" the hip kids called me, ready to blow at a moments notice. I'd be honored at how accurate and fitting it was if it didn't dissuade possible employers. I mean, it's totally not my fault I have to deal with moronic assholes and am actually expected to "deal with it". Fuck. That. Noise.
Sadly it also meant I wouldn't be able to pay my rent this month.
Fuck.
...
Internalization isn't working. I moved to a nearby side alley, saw a big metal dumpster and apologized in advance.
"FUCK!" I exclaimed my displeasure as I kicked the dumpster with my heel hard enough to dent it. God damnit, why did part-time jobs need to be so fucking demanding! Why did everyone in the world suddenly become drooling fruits that exist only to piss me the fuck off! Fuck this shit!
I inhaled deeply and slowly let the anger out of my system, as my therapist nagged me to do when I was losing it.
Calm...
Calm... ...
...
"THIS DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!" I repeated the violent action on the innocent dumpster a few more times, each time denting it a bit more. I was too mad to care about possible property damage. My rent wasn't going to get paid, so let's go all the fucking way!
After I got that out there I finally started to calm down. Thank god no officers of the law were nearby or I'd probably end up spending the night downtown.
And no one would be happy about that.
"I do think the dumpster gets the point by now." I flinch and instinctively swivel around to knock whoever snook up on me in the noggin', only to have my fist deflected, then my leg swept under me. I landed on my back, my head clonking on the concrete quite intimately.
"FUCKING HELL!" The pain shot along the back of my head in a way that I just had to vocalize in an intelligent manner. "Jesus fuck, what the shit?!"
The voice had the fucking gall to chuckle at my pain. I gripped the back of my head with hand while propping myself up with the other. Then I glared at the one who dared sneak up on me and then make a fool out of me.
It was a man, based on the voice and what little I could see of the basic body build. His entire form was covered by a black hooded cloak. I couldn't make out most of his face from the shadows of the hood. I stared at him blankly.
"Hello, McSparklyass V. Ampire," I greeted him mockingly. Seriously, what kind of an asshole do you have to be to go around in a cape like that?
"Oh, please spare me of indignity, Stephanie Meyer!" He stated in mock-hurt while wearing a toothy grin. He clearly was in the know. "We all knows Jacob is where all the tail goes to."
I groan at the borderline painful pun. And the statement as a whole. I get up just as the prick shows the "decency" to help me up. I ignore his hand, denying him satisfaction and glare murder at the prick.
"Hasn't your mother told you that it's rude to sneak up on people?" I spit venomously.
"Hasn't your mother told you that punching strangers is ill form?" The man shot back at me with what I deduced was sass.
The fucker just sassed me.
...
Fuck this guy!
"As a matter of fact, no." I growled.
"So, how's life going for you?" He abruptly changed the subject, much to my annoyance.
"Fuck off, creep!"
"Wow. That tongue. Scalding. Need any ice for that?" He snarks, the fuck.
My eye twitches as I grow more annoyed at this guy as seconds tick by. "Why the hell are you bothering me?"
"Oh, you know," He drawls sickeningly pleasantly. "Reasons."
"Marvelous. I'll be going then." I say dryly as I went to move by him but he quickly stepped in the way.
"No-now wait a moment! I was kidding, okay? Can't you take a friendly gag?" The creep sputtered. I scoffed.
"Not from some random creep who snuck up on me in an alley," I said, maintaining my glare game.
He actually had the decency to seem embarrassed. "Aah, my bad then. Sorry about that, my man. No hard feelings, m'kay?"
A vein popped up on my forehead, I grit my teeth together and my eye twitched dangerously. "I'm a girl." I seethed with barely contained desire to open a can of whoop-ass on this prick.
He was silent and I can tell he was staring at me. Then his stare went slightly lower. Then back to my face.
"... My sympathies."
"YOU WANNA GO?!" I raised my fist, ready to clobber this asshole for how sincere he sounded.
"N-now wait a moment!" He raised his hands defensively, showing black sleeves. "I didn't intend for that to come out as it did. I just wished to talk, that's all."
"WELL BETTER MAKE IT SNAPPY OR ELSE SOMETHING ELSE SNAPS!" And I wasn't talking about my anger. That train had already passed.
"I was merely approaching you with a proposition. You're without work and soon without a home to go back to, yes?" He prattled nervously.
I quirked my brow slightly, still ready to introduce my fist to his face. "And if I was?"
"Then do I have news for you-"
'Drop the salesman act or I'll shove my fist down your throat." I snarl.
"-sooo, I have got just the solution for your, err, problem. Something that'd let you be yourself while truly having a chance to enjoy life to it's fullest without having to worry about such things. I'm offering a life of adventure and whimsy!"
I narrowed my eyes, weighing my options. I could just punch him and leave. Or, I could humor him and hear him out. "... Thirty seconds."
"Eh?"
"Twenty nine."
"OH! Well, have you ever heard of One Piece?"
"Yes, to an extent. What of it? Twenty four."
"Well, how'd you like to life a more exciting life in the vast seas?"
I stared at him, glare unchanging.
"... Nineteen."
He sputtered and fumbled with something inside his cloak. "Ah, erm... eeh, AH! Okay, I know it sounds impossible and all, but I'm quite serious. Here, I even got some proof. Ta-daa!"
Then his hand shot out from under his cloak. Standing in a dramatic pose, he held a big-ass fruit. A deep blue fruit with white swirls on its surface. My eyebrow rose, just a bit. I had an idea what that could've been. I shot him a doubtful look.
"Ten..."
"Argh, come on! You're busting my balls here." The creep whined.
"Do you honestly, and I mean honestly, think I'm going to fall for something so outlandish?" I asked in a neutral tone.
"This is a real Devil Fruit, I assure you. And if you agree to my proposition, it could be yours as an... err... initiation gift?"
"Ignoring that it would require me to believe you, why the hell should I? I like swimming, thank you very much, and some random-ass power isn't going to make up for that."
"Well, yes, but-"
"Three..."
"Look, this one is special, alright! And real. It'll allow you to swim."
I growled and snatched the supposed Devil Fruit from his hand, fully ready to smash it. "And zero, your thirty seconds are up. You honestly expect me to buy this load of bull? Much less believe anything out of your mouth, Mr. Stranger?"
"I swear on my name that I don't lie." He said quickly. My glare intensified.
"And what name would that be?"
"... Stranger?"
"DO YOU WANT TO GET BEAT UP?!" I screamed at his face, a hair away from splitting his skull open like a casket full of loot.
"Well, I wouldn't worry about that now, since you accepted and all."
... What?
"Wait, wha-"
I blacked out.
When I woke up it felt like only moments had passed and I had a killer hangover. Only I didn't, but try telling my senses that. I groaned loudly and opened my eyes.
First thought: 'Man, what the fuck was that?'
Second thought: "GOD FUCKLIGHTS!"
Only, the latter was actually said out loud as straight up sunlight violated my aching retinas. That shit was painful, though I doubt it actually hurt as bad as me screaming bloody murder would have indicated.
Covering my eyes and cradling my head with a rave going on inside, my thoughts went back to the creep in the alley and got a bad vibe. I managed to creak one eye open and look around through my fingers.
I was in the middle of a god damn tropical forest.
The fuck? Did that bitch knock me out and ditch my ass somewhere? What the hell?! Or was he actually serious about all that nonsense? The fuck?
I groaned as I let the rave in my brainbox die down and my eyes adjusted. The first thing I did was make sure I wasn't missing anything essential. Like a liver.
My clothes were still on, thank God. Baggy grey camo cargo pants, a black belt and a gray tank top. On my feet were my secured sandals with no socks. Feeling more than a bit paranoid, I pulled the neckline of the tank top down just a tad.
...
Yup, still got that sports bra on, covering all that insultingly flat chest-area. While I was at it I also took the liberty of finding my panties where they should be. A girl can't be too careful.
I seemed without any sort of injury, or at least anything notable. I looked around and saw my backpack by my side. And there, lying beside it, was that God damn fruit next to a God damn note. Not able to resist the morbid curiosity, I took the note and read.
Dear Mr, err, Ms. Grandwhite,
By taking the Devil Fruit you have agreed to my little proposition. I hope you make use of it, or you might find things a load harder for yourself. This is quite the unnatural world, after all, filled with some unnatural individuals. Enjoy your vacation!
Sincerely with L-O-V-E~,
Stranger
You bet your ass I tore that thing to pieces in record time.
"THAT FUCKER!" God damnit! He actually meant every word? How in the name of Seven Hells is this supposed to make sense! I want to wring his neck to the width of a fucking wire and then snap it in two!
In my rage I kick a nearby tree. As if to spite me further, a falling coconut clonks me on the head.
As I nursed the bump on my head, I tried to calm down. Anger wouldn't help me right now. I slung my backpack on securely – noting it seemed to contain stuff, I'll check later – and also took the fruit onto my hand and stared at it. Malevolently.
This. Fruit. This so-called Devil Fruit – or should I call it just a Devil Fruit? - is almost solely responsible for this. A part of me just wants to smash it out of spite.
But then I think. If he really wasn't lying and I am where I think I am, then this thing could prove to be extremely essential. If he wasn't lying, this thing might actually be special and able to avoid the whole "drown-in-the-sea-like-a-weak-scrub"-problem.
I weighed my options for a moment longer. But seeing no good reason to act on my spite, or any reason to believe that Mr. Stranger was lying, I came to a conclusion. I took a bite out of the fruit.
And by GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT TASTE?! It's like a bundle of moldy, sweat-soaked, dusty, old grandma's foot fungus socks! I almost gag and hurl then and there, but swallow the borderline vile thing out of sheer stubbornness.
Then I threw the rest of it away and begun to hack my lungs out.
"HACK – FUCK. They weren't – HACK, HACK – kidding about the taste!" I yelled to absolutely no one, save the very universe.
Then I froze. It came to me I had no idea what this thing did. It could be something really stupid or really useless. It's always random chance with these stupid magic fruit! Fuck my impulsiveness!
Oh well, I'd figure it out. Once I figured out what it did in the first place. For the love of god, at least be something cool!
I got on my feet and tried to ignore the vile aftertaste swirling in my mouth and got moving. That guy did say that this one would allow me to swim. I was ready to put that to the test.
After all, Megalon Grandwhite – weird name for a girl, yes, but damn if it isn't cool – is not a scared little sissy-girl!
I hacked and heaved as I expelled water from my lungs. I'd lost all my strength after getting knee deep into the water and then tripping over. Luckily I washed ashore fairly quickly, but not before swallowing some sea water.
It felt miserable.
"YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CREEP-FUCKER!" I screamed heavenwards, shaking my fists in unbridled fury.
Prologue
Fin~
Next Episode: A Timely Arrival! Big Trouble in Little Baratie!
A/N: Well, this got to be a thing.
Welcome to the Shark of the Land, a stupid little SI OC fic that dancingly descended into my mind one day and refused to leave. It's a small project I hope to sink some of my abundant time in, so let's see if this goes anywhere. So please, follow along on the story of a very angry girl. Word of warning, there will be a time-skip next chapter.
I want to believe Megalon's parents were hardcore marine biologists with a boner for ancient, long-dead sea creatures. And possessed astounding naming skills.
Oh, an no one gets any guesses as to what that Devil Fruit does to our oddly named heroine.
~Till Next Episode~!
