When Clarke was living on the Ark, she'd never given much thought about having children. Or a child, given the one child policy on the Ark. But Clarke knew if the day comes, it'd be as long as she could possibly wait. As a year later meant a year closer to being returned to Earth.
Clarke would want that for her child. If the planet that gave birth to human life was anything like she had seen and read in films and books that were shelved neatly at the Ark's library, she'd want her child to feel the sun on their face, wind in their hair and the earthy mud between their toes. She'd want her child to have the choice to live by the sea or in a building surrounded by even bigger and taller buildings. She'd want her child to have as many children as they want, as much love as they could give. She'd want her child to not live and die in a metal box without ever really living.
When Clarke was living in the dropship that had sent her and the rest of the 100 down to Earth, finally feeling the sun on her face, wind in her hair and the earthy mud between her toes, she'd decided to never bring a child into this harsh and deadly world. A world where you could get killed in the middle of the forest while picking edible berries or in the lake by a mutated creatures.
She'd watched kids her age and even younger get slaughtered during their brief few days on the planet. And if they managed to survive like she did, they'd dream of their home and their family back on the Ark, their thoughts haunting their minds, clenching painfully around their hearts, constantly reliving what they had to do to stay alive.
Earth was a nightmare Clarke could never wake up from. And she'd never want that for her child.
When Clarke was living in Polis, it had taken years to have the Ice Nation finally defeated. She loved to stand on her balcony that overlooked the whole city. She'd stand and watch the people of Polis go about their day, buying and selling meats, vegetables, spices and handcrafted goods. She'd watch warriors train, the sound of swords swinging and meeting each other was a sound Clarke was all too familiar with by now.
With a smile that reached her eyes and warmed her heart sometimes, Clarke would watch the kids run around the city, through the narrow lanes and dirt roads, talking and laughing as they played hide and seek. During peaceful times like these, with no wars and no battles between the other clans – Lexa's hands slipping around her waist and soft lips on her neck – Clarke tried not to think about having children.
It wasn't because they were both women. It was because every time the dust settles, just when Clarke thought she could finally stop fighting and just live, somewhere across the sea or over the mountains, a spark would ignite and spread like wildfire and another battle would come and another war would start. There was no beginning and no end, life on Earth would just be a constant state of readiness and preparation of what's to come.
It was a silent agreement that it would just be the two of them. But seeing Lexa with children, arms full with tiny warriors hanging over her shoulder and clutching tightly around her hips, the spark in her eyes and playfulness in her voice made Clarke's heart tingle in regret and her eyes sting with sadness.
When Clarke, Lexa and a dozen warriors – both grounders and the sky people – arrived at a village on the outskirts of the city one night to see it burnt to the ground with no survivors, Clarke's hand flew to her mouth as she tried to swallow the sobs that were threatening to break free. Tears were flowing down freely as the thick black smoke stung her eyes and as she thought about the innocent lives lost.
She turned to see Lexa struggling to stand steadily on her own two feet, one hand on the hilt of her sword that was attached to her hips. She could see the anguish on Lexa's face for a short second as the commander mourned for the loss of her people – the slight trembles of her jaw and the hardened green eyes – before collecting herself quickly to start yelling orders at her warriors.
It didn't take long to put out the fire. By the time the party arrived at the village, the damage was done and the fire was already beginning to die out. Clarke could see the grave expression on everyone's faces when they stumbled across a charred body or parts of a body, the smell of burnt flesh hitting their noses. Clarke herself had to try to keep her dinner down.
When they were sure there were no survivors in the wreckage and in the vicinity, Lexa appointed four of her men for guard duties to make sure no one would trespass while the rest of them began retreating back toward the city.
Lexa explained to the group. "It is too late and too dark to investigate the cause of the fire. We will return first thing in the morning."
A solemn silence was hanging above them like dark clouds in the sky. Some were angry, muscles tense and boots stomping against the dirt road. Lexa tried to look ahead, her face stained with soot, her skin sticky and uncomfortable from the heat of the fire. The smell of smoke made her stomach clench in disgust and in sadness for her people.
Clarke wanted to reach for the Commander, to pull her into a hug and to hold Lexa's hand in her own. But she knew her affection would only be reciprocated in the confines of their room. Clarke itched to be closer to Lexa, but she'd have to wait until they returned home. She settled for walking closely beside the brunette, shoulders brushing as a gentle reminder of each other's presence.
Clarke thought she was hearing things at the first sound of a faint cry further out in the forest. She shook her head and carried on walking. When she heard a second cry shortly after the first, she turned to look at Lexa, and with one look Clarke knew Lexa had heard it too.
Then a third cry came, louder this time, and the trees seemed to shake with it.
"Clarke, wait." But Clarke took off towards the direction of the cries without waiting for Lexa.
Lexa ran after the blonde and so did the rest of their people, worried it could be a trap. Clarke didn't manage to wander off too far before she found where the crying came from. Bundled safely in a worn cocoon was a squirming baby, lying on a patch of grass far enough from the village. Clarke knelt on the ground and picked up the baby, hugging the infant close to her chest. When Lexa arrived next to Clarke, she ordered her men to look for signs of the parents even though deep down she knew they'd find no one. Not a single soul was in the forest.
Clarke managed to calm the baby down into soft sniffles after several minutes of rocking back and forth. Tiny cheeks were stained with ashes, just like Lexa's, eyes a beautiful green that reminded Clarke of Lexa's.
"Someone probably left the child here before going back into the fire." Lexa looked over Clarke's shoulder at the baby. Her heart broke for the newly orphaned baby. "Let's return and leave it with the healers. I'm sure they would find the child a suitable home."
Clarke remained silent but shook her head in disagreement, her fingers caressing soft baby hair.
"Clarke, I will personally see to it that the child would be in good hands. We should head back. It isn't safe out here. We all know the fire wasn't an accident." Lexa gently tugged at Clarke's arm urging the blonde who seemed so captivated by the child in her arms to guide her towards the direction back to the tall gates of Polis.
Clarke couldn't tear her eyes away from the young green ones during their journey back to the city. When the gates closed behind them, one of the grounder warriors offered to bring the child to the healers' hut. But something about the baby, the smiles that replaced the violent cries from earlier had a tight grip on Clarke's heart, a bittersweet sensation at their brief encounter and she didn't want it to end just yet.
"No, I'll take care of the baby for now."
Clarke looked at Lexa, searching her eyes for permission. Not that she needed one, as Lexa's face softened when she looked at the baby. The Commander lifted her index finger to stroke the baby's cheek, and when soft giggles erupted from small plump lips, a thin smile only visible to Clarke pulled at Lexa's lips and the Commander had to clear her throat and straighten her posture in order to look unaffected by the delightful noises the baby was making.
Lexa nodded and agreed to let Clarke bring the child home with them. She gave one final order to her men for the night before the group dispersed and returned to their own homes.
"Tomorrow we will figure out who was behind the attack. Then blood must have blood."
"It's a girl." Whispered Clarke as Lexa stepped into their bedroom, showered and ready for bed.
Lexa walked to the makeshift crib her helpers had set up upon arriving back home earlier. The child was cleaned and wrapped in a warm white towel, her eyes drooping as she squirmed a few more times before surrendering to a peaceful slumber. Lexa slid her arms around Clarke's waist, both women staring at the baby – Clarke in adoration and Lexa in wonder.
When Clarke leaned back against Lexa's front, the brunette sighed deeply at the comforting weight of Clarke's body, seeking solace from what happened earlier. Clarke turned her head to look at Lexa, the Commander in Lexa vanished like it often did when it was just the two of them. Staring at Lexa now, Clarke only saw the woman she loved, her walls slowly crumbling down as she silently grieved the loss of her people.
Clarke pressed a soft kiss under Lexa's jaw, her own hands coming up to wrap around tanned ones, pushing back tears and trying to swallow the lump that was lodged in her throat. "We're going to figure out who did this, Lexa. I promise."
Lexa nodded, her green eyes shining with unshed tears. She nudged her nose against Clarke's neck, breathing in blonde hair and seeking comfort in the familiar scent.
Clarke sighed again. It took them years to defeat the Ice Nation, to completely obliterate the Ice Queen's army and defences. Countless raids and ambushes and lives of those who fought bravely were lost. Their people were beginning to settle down, to build a future them seemed bleak at first and now it seemed like it was never going to end.
The slight hum that vibrated in Lexa's throat broke Clarke from her thoughts. The brunette now had a soft smile on her face – though her eyes were still haunted and dull – as she stared at the slumbering baby.
Lexa tightened her hold on Clarke, a familiar warmth that started from her chest spreading all over her body. A sensation that reminded Lexa of what she had to lose, of what she had to fight for.
"She's beautiful, Clarke." She didn't know it back then, but Lexa had fallen for the enchanting giggles and charming smiles the second she witnessed it.
And Clarke knew the second Lexa said that, the brunette would do anything to protect the child.
The child they had found during the night that inevitably started a war between the clans and the rebellion of the alliance grew up to be a beautiful and strong woman her mothers were extremely proud of.
Ophelia kom Trikru en Skaikru grew up to be a formidable warrior that could convey a gentleness and warmth with her green eyes like Lexa, and a compassionate healer that many loved and respected like Clarke.
In the end, Clarke was glad she had a child.
