Okay, so this story may have done over and over again by different authors. That's because dramatic themes are, oddly enough, easy to write when you have a feel for the character. I don't know if my take will be any different or as enjoyable as any of the others but it's lying in wait, ready to be told so what the heck. I'll tell it, right? I generally stay pretty canon but this time I may veer off a bit so please forgive me if I end up in a tangled heap on the side of the "road". I'm basically taking a "tainted break" for a brief spell (new chapter on Tainted this week for those paying attention) so I can play a little. This will essentially become a soap opera and a generally sappy love story. Oh yeah, by the way there will be sex, sex, yadda-yadda, violence et cetera. This tale, by the way, will have nothing, NOTHING to do with Tainted Dreams. It even has a new Warden. And you Zevran fans? He's the star! Thanks to all my supporters and Bioware for making this happen.
Reunion of Broken Hearts
Chapter 1
"Warden Commander. I see you've returned in one piece from Amaranthine. And Amaranthine itself is in one piece, more or less. Your reports were… interesting to say the least. I'm done. You can return to your duties, Commander," King Alistair said coldly as Tamyra Cousland stood before him. Her face was a jumble of emotion, for she still loved him as much as she had they day they first kissed. Alistair, on the other hand, had apparently lost all feeling for her. In fact, he was acting downright rude toward her these days.
"It is what it is and I did the best I could, considering the circumstances. The threat is over for now. Now that that's done, permission to speak freely, Your Majesty," she said with a quiver in her voice.
"The Hero of Ferelden is asking me permission to speak freely? What a lark that is. By all means, Commander, say what you have to say while I'm still listening." Though the words themselves were polite, the tone was as far from polite as one could get. Sarcasm oozed through every syllable, every tone of every letter as he spoke them. He leaned against the wall and looked away, a clear sign of disrespect. She frowned, anger bubbling up from inside her. Did he have to be so mean?
"What happened to us?" she asked in a very small voice. She winced as he started to laugh. It was a maniacally cruel, mocking sound; a cold sound that sent shivers through her heart and soul. When he was done, he turned to her, rage in his eyes and an expression that twisted his face such that she barely recognized him as her former lover. He drew very close, close enough to feel his breath hot against her cheek.
"You know what 'happened to us'. Loghaine happened to us! You saved his sorry ass and for what? To preserve your own sappy soul and not have to kill in cold blood? What about my brother? Or Duncan? Or those men he allowed to die during the civil war in the Bannorn? What about all those Grey Wardens back at Ostagar?" he shot back at her bitterly. Tami winced again.
"The choice was clear to me! I had to protect you no matter what. I had hoped you would understand, Alistair. I needed a Grey warden up there with me but your life was far to prec-" she started.
"What did you think I would say, huh? Foolish bitch! You allowed my worst enemy to live and then the bastard not only survived the damn Joining but he took Morrigan's ritual in exchange for his own life! Now Weisshaupt treats him with kid gloves because he's still a damned hero and the only woman I would have considered for my queen is a woman I can longer stand because of it! I hate you, do you understand? You have spoken freely, now leave." He turned away and started walking down the hall. Tamyra ran after him, the sound of her armored boots sounding hollow as her heart. As she reached him she grabbed his arm and braced as he flung her aside painfully against the wall. "Do not touch me! Not ever again! Do you understand?"
She rose unsteadily to her feet, weeping bitter tears, sobbing in between breaths. "Alistair! I still love you!" she cried at his back. He paused and waiting a moment before answering. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder wearing an expression of such sorrow that she was forced to look away. "And I love you. But you should have considered the consequences before you let Loghaine live. Now I cannot bear even the sight of you."
He started back up the hall and Tamyra called out once again. "Your majesty, may I ask a final favor then? If this is to be the end of us? As friends? As lovers?" He stopped and she could see his shoulders hunch ever so slightly. His head lowered as did his voice as he growled an angry "what now?"
She came up behind him and sighed. "I ask only for one more night with you. For closure's sake?"
His became rigid as if fighting something inside himself. Alistair turned again and gazed at her coldly. "You want sex after everything I just told you? Are you mad?"
She shrugged and shuffled her feet. Tami had this cute habit of chewing her lip anytime she became nervous and it was tugging on his heartstrings now. He forced himself to ignore it. "I guess I'm a glutton for punishment," she murmured.
He growled and shoved her against the wall with both hands, pinning her to it. His golden-eyed gaze was intense and angry. His body, on the other hand, was eager to give in. He hadn't been with a woman since before his coronation and that last partner had been Tami. If she had looked, his thin cotton pants would have betrayed his need. "Why do you think I would want to have sex with you ever again?"
She raised her blue-violet eyes to his and felt tears spill down her cheeks. "Because you still love me."
He dropped his hands but his stare only grew more intense. He seemed honestly baffled that she wanted this so much. There was no reason not to, really. Except only perhaps to protect his wounded pride. After a moment of consideration, he placed both hands against her shoulders again, roughly pinning her to the wall again. Alistair then shoved his body against her, pressing her between his powerful form and the stone behind her. Through the leather lining under the skirt of chain she wore, she could feel his arousal. She gasped as his face came painfully close to hers. "Fine. You want this so badly, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you so much you'll be unable to walk straight for a week. But I can't promise it will be loving or even a little romantic, got it? And after this, you have to leave me alone. We're done for good this time, unless duty requires us to speak. As Warden Commander, unfortunately, you will have to report to me from time to time." He shoved his mouth against hers, forcefully kissing her.
She nodded slowly against him. "Agreed. I'll never bother you again," she gasped against his mouth. He nodded once.
Alistair gripped her by her narrow waist with one hand and grabbed the back of her head with the other. He covered her mouth with his in another hard kiss that left her gasping. It was almost painful. He then hauled her to his rooms and pushed her onto the bed. "Take off your armor, Commander," he ordered sharply. Carefully, she did and got down to the last of her leather padding. This she peeled off sadly until she stood before him, her firm breasts and tanned skin bare and her soul raw and wanting.
He was now naked and fully aroused. The expression on his face, however, was dark and bitter. He was still so beautiful, she thought, as she gazed at his perfect body. If she could only avoid his eyes, she would be able to do this. He didn't give her much time to consider as he grabbed her and pushed her forcefully onto the bed where he kissed her very hard. Tami gasped as his hands, once so gentle, groped her thoroughly with the gentleness of a soldier groping a whore. A part of her liked it. Another part was terrified. He sucked her nipples until they were almost sore and even bit her shoulder, near the breast, leaving a ring of tooth marks. No blood was drawn but this was something he'd never done to her. Again, it was exciting yet frightening. Then, he forced her back onto the bed and entered her, brutally bucking until she cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure. She bucked him back and left her own painful bite-mark on his chest when he got too rough.
The rest of the night was like this. For hours, they joined their bodies in brute dance of wanton desire. It was vicious, raw and almost animalistic. He wanted her as badly as she wanted him but he was also punishing her. He wasn't exactly trying to hurt her but he wasn't letting her think this was any act of reconciliation either. This was the sex of hunger and lust; crude and unapologetic. In spite of its roughness, each of them peaked several times. It was, to be honest, the most intense lovemaking they'd ever engaged in. He entered her from all angles, in many different ways and made her do things she'd always done on her own but now he gave her no choice. She rather liked it, the way he took her without asking. But without the warmth he used to exude, the roughness was simply sex without emotion. She may as well have been earning money for it, for all the kindness he showed her.
Eventually, he fell asleep sometime before dawn, his body facing away from her and no tender embrace to finalize the experience. But she found, as she rose carefully, stiffly, from the wet sheets, that it wasn't necessary. Tami kissed his cheek lightly before quietly stacking her elaborate Grey Warden armor against the bed along with her massive tower shield. Then, she opened her pack and put on some soft, leather pants and belted a button-less blouse with a length of red silk at her waist. Her breasts were on display in the low-cut blue fabric that clung to every curve, accentuating her physical beauty. A soft pair of black leather pants and Dalish boots completed the ensemble. Her final task was to write a brief letter, which she left on the bed with the shield and armor. Then, she was gone.
Later that morning, Alistair awoke with a start and found himself alone. It was a disconcerting feeling considering Tamyra had gone to sleep with him. Normally, they would awaken in one another's arms and… Then he remembered the argument, one-sided shouting that it was. As he kicked the sheets off of his naked body, he heard something slide along the bed and slam to the stone floor with a thunderous metallic clang. He jumped, startled and quickly exited the bed to look at what fell. There, at the foot was her armor and her shield, which had slid to the floor. The letter was lying beside it.
He picked it up and read it carefully, even re-reading it to make sure he wasn't seeing things. But, no. It was all there and it was all written by her hand. Oh, what had he done! Shame began to fill him as he read it once again.
Dearest Alistair
I hereby tender my resignation as Warden Commander of Ferelden. I know there are precious few Grey Wardens now and I apologize for my abrupt departure but for the continued peace between us, it is best I just leave. I got my closure and it satisfied me on many levels though it left me on so many others in ribbons. As a result, even talking to you as Warden Commander is simply not possible, not anymore. Not ever again. Call me a coward if you like, if that is what I am.
I would like to suggest Nathaniel Howe or even Oghren to the post. Both are natural leaders who are trustworthy and I call them friends. You may use your discretion. Go to Amaranthine and see our selection of Grey Wardens. Perhaps one will appeal to you.
As for me, I plan to journey to Weisshaupt for the foreseeable future. My understanding is that I can join the Greys there and I will most likely be welcome among their ranks. Maker forbid, I may even work with Loghain. I do not look forward to he pisses me off, I may make up for my past transgression as it pertains to him.
I enjoyed our time together and shall never forget our love. Be well, my friend and maybe, in time, you will for forget about me. I pray I can move beyond you, for I love you still.
Best regards.
Tamyra Lianne Cousland
Alistair crumpled the paper and threw it hard against the wall. It bounced before rolling to a stop at his feet. She had no right! How dare she leave! How dare she resign when he needed her! He quickly dressed in a suit of simple, yet elegant silk and warm cotton. He got his heavy leather boots on then hastily ran down the halls to the guard at the entrance to the palace. "When did the Warden Commander pass through?"
"The… Oh! Ah, I haven't seen her, your majesty. The fellow I relieved said a woman, a whore most likely, exited early this morning without a word. Perhaps it was she? I understand she was crying, if that helps any." The guard saluted him as he walked outside and stared out into the early light of morning. She was making good on her promise, then. Well, fine. If that's what she wants, he wasn't going to pursue her, no matter how bad he felt. Maybe she right. Maybe this was best. But there was a part of him that said, "You are a fool and there is no way this could ever be for the best. You still love her…" He quashed the thought bitterly and headed to the kitchen for breakfast, the memory of his last night with her strong in his mind and his heart full of regret.
Days later, far to the southwest of Denerim and east of Lothering, she was walking almost due west of the Bracilian forest . It was the long route but a satisfying one. Perhaps taking the North Road would have made more sense for where she was going but time was not important. Escape was the only thing that mattered. As she breathed in the clean, fresh air, she heard a sound behind her. A limb creaked; a leaf rustled and then came the unexpected attack.
Her attacker was small and lithe. He bounced all around her wielding a martial bo-staff instead of his swords, which she could plainly see on his back. So he wasn't trying to hurt her! Well, she would show him. Her assassin skills had been taught to her by the great Zevran, former crow and witty Antivan. If this man was making trouble for her, she would show him that one does not tease a well-trained fighter, let alone a skilled Grey Warden. The fight was brief, even by her standards, and ended with the man on the ground, his groin straddled by her thighs. She leaned over him, both blades against his throat.
He sighed dramatically and smiled at her chest, all of which he could see since her shirt had come loose during the fight. "Ah, once again I am beaten by Ferelden's great Grey Warden. Alas, if a man must die at the hands of a beautiful woman, then he should die thus straddled and with a view to truly die for. Now if you will but lean over more so that I can taste…" Before he could finish, his face was pressed against that lovely bosom in a great hug.
"Zevran!" she cried as she kissed his cheek fondly. He tried to get her to kiss his lips instead but couldn't turn his head in time. Carefully, she helped him up. Her groin was still sore from the brutal love-making session more than a week ago and the fight had strained something. Tami then carefully replaced her blouse, leaving an impressive amount of cleavage but covering the rest, much to Zevran's disappointment. He laughed heartily and hugged her.
His arm around her waist, they walked through the wood and she laid her head upon his shoulder. "I never seem to fail in my attempts at failing to get you. However, I prefer it this anyway. If I may offer a token observation, you are as stunning as I remember you being. The change in your hair has a… remarkable effect on me."
She blushed, fingered her short black curls absently and squeezed him tightly. He responded in kind. "You look good, Zevran," she murmured. "That Dalish armor suits you. How have you been?" she asked softly.
With another dramatic sigh, he innocently raised his hand to her breast and wiggled his fingers inside the fabric and fondled her until she plucked his wandering fingers away with a raised eyebrow. "Hmm. Clearly I have been lonely. My hand has a mind of its own, it seems. Bad hand! Yes, you love her breasts as much as I do but that's no excuse to go teasing them without an invitation, which I pray will be in the offering as soon she realizes that she alone with us."
"Oh, Zev, I won't be inviting any man to my bed again. Not any time soon, at least. Don't take it personally. Alistair and I are over. For good. I'm traveling to Weisshaupt to find my future there or wherever I wish. It doesn't matter, right?"
He raised an eyebrow and stopped before her, his hands on her arms as he tried to make sense of what she was saying. "My friend, you cannot leave. You are Ferelden's Warden Commander. You have a job to do here, right?"
Slowly, she shook her head and pressed herself against him. His arms went around her body and held her close. He loved the sweet, spicy scent of the oils she rubbed into her dusky skin. He breathed in deeply. He'd always been very attracted to her and holding her like this was only intensifying those emotions. "I quit." She said. "I had to get away from him so I quit. He was so mean to me! I had never seen him act so cold, so cruel toward me. It was because I let Loghain live and I know he's mad about that but I didn't deserve to be spoken to with such hatred. I couldn't bear his antipathy again so I decided to leave for good. I know. I am a coward, aren't I?"
He sighed against her hair and kissed it softly. "You are hurting and when you experience pain, you do what the heart tells you. There is no right or wrong. It is a decision only you can make and there is nothing cowardly about it. It is the reason I have always avoided falling in love. Once the heart gives in, there is no place else to go. He is a fool to have given up a beautiful woman such as yourself. I, it seems, will benefit!"
She hugged him again and started walking with her head against his chest. "I wish I could avoid love like that," she told him.
He laughed and patted her bottom playfully. "It certainly makes relationships less stressful. Pleasure is easier to come by, especially when you let loose all those old hang-ups that prevent you from having fun. You really must learn to have fun. So, we are traveling to Weisshaupt, hmm?"
She stopped and shook her head. "No. I am traveling to Weisshaupt, and you are staying here."
Laughter replaced the forest quiet as he took her hand in a playful dance-move that swirled her about the ground. "The Dalish, with whom I have been staying, are about as exciting as the trees they call home. I want adventure and excitement! Admit it, My Treat, traveling with a handsome, available and exciting former Crow has to have its appeal, no? Truly, I don't care if you say no again. I promised you that I would stay by your side as long as you needed me and as far as I am concerned, you need me again."
The former Commander brushed her shoulder against his chest as she tried to walk past him. He grabbed both her arms and trapped her there. Then he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her briefly, barely caressing them. He didn't know why he did it but the temptation was impossible to resist. Plus, it had the added benefit of wiping that stubborn look off her face. Instead, she was staring up at him with wide eyes. "Think of the benefits, Tamyra. You would have a good fighter to watch your back during the day and a playful partner to fill your nights with lust under the stars at night. You have nothing to lose!"
She looked away from him though she did lean her body against his. "The fighter part I like. The 'playful partner' part would have to be put on hold indefinitely. If we were to have a physical relationship, Zevran, you would become a rebound from Alistair and I couldn't do that to you. It wouldn't be fair."
He slid his arms around her and playfully tickled her, carefully managing to "tickle" everything he could touch, including her breasts. "Ah! Poor me! To be a mere second best to the Mighty Alistair, a bastard who ended up being, well, a bastard, will truly devastate me as his former lover uses my body to heal her wounded heart. Woe is me, what shall I ever do as I fill her nights with sweet passion and kiss away her pain? Can I survive the wanton, loveless lovemaking to follow? Alas! I have no answer save that I must survive. Now, shall you rebound on me here or shall we wait for nightfall?"
She laughed at his glib appraisal of the consequences of becoming her lover and decided that maybe he was exactly what she needed. "All right, Zev. You win. But only if I am up to it! Come, Zevran." She walked away and paused when she didn't hear him follow. Slowly, Tami turned and stared, eyes wide with shock. He was standing behind her, his pants around his ankles and a massive erection crowning his groin. He was looking extremely smug.
"I am already 'up to it', as you say, but in order for me to 'come', I will have to ask for some help and a bit of patience," he said, grinning. She was blushing bright red under her tan and turned away from him nervously. Alistair was the only man she'd ever looked at during a state of arousal. He had, as it was, set the bar in her opinion. Alistair was quite impressive but then came along Zevran. Zevran's assets were as big and bold as his lust. It contrasted boldly with his slight height and grace. She had little doubt he had prowess to match and it stirred her blood to think about it. She shivered with desire and started walking again.
"Let's go, Zevran. We'll see about… that… later. Another time. I will warn you though… I don't seduce easily. I will put up a fight!"
He drew up behind her and ran his tongue up along the back of her neck from her shoulders on up to her hairline. "Imagine that but all over…" he murmured with a sly grin. He felt her quiver in spite of herself and knew, despite the silence, that he was going to have her sooner than she thought. It made him smile more as he slipped his arm around her. He cupped her breast playfully outside the blouse and smirked when she didn't stop him. Oh yes… This would be much more fun than pretending to be a Dalish.
To Be Continued!
