We can deny our nature. Not many people think so but we can. We can put on a front, a pretence, an entirely new persona and the gullible will buy it and see it as our true selves. But when it comes right down to it, when push comes to shove and our true colours are suddenly blinding in their open display, then we have no choice but to be true to ourselves.
Yami will die today. In minutes actually. I know this. Yugi knows it too, his eyes blinded by his own tars as he shakily holds the cards that will spell out his other half's doom. The others can see it; Anzu's hand about her mouth, Joey looking as impassioned as ever and everyone else just looking sickeningly numb.
They know. They don't know exactly *what* they know, but sense that something profound with powerful repercussions is about to occur right before their very eyes.
Yugi lays down the card, his fingers pressing it down onto the duel disk perhaps harder than necessary, as if he had taken great trouble to come to this decision and wanted to see it through.
Yami smiles, unflinching as his life points plummet to zero and wave of pain tears through him, stripping him of his energy. He drops to his knees looking spent and wearied, but the soft smile remains in place.
I want nothing more than to run to him but I'm rooted, sick fascination at this final parting and a severe denial about it's actuality holding me firmly in place.
Yugi runs to him, blinded completely now and tears running hot and fast down his cheeks. He finds some refuge in Yami's arms, probably not comprehending that this is the first time that they've touched each other solidly.
I feel my knees give out and let them bend, my through a third of its natural size and my stomach doing enough clenching and knotting to make me want to retch. No one else notices my lowered position; they're holding each other, desperate to get closer to the parting pair but knowing of the need for a respectful distance.
They don't think I care, which is reasonable, as I've never shown them any sign to think otherwise. They don't look at me. They don't know that seeing Yami leave is ripping me apart, but then I didn't think that it would ever hurt this much, almost coming to believe in the front I'd put on.
Yami and Yugi murmur soft words to each other, the great stone doors of the temple breaking open behind them and casting a brilliant white light onto them, a reminder that time is running short and that Yami is required to leave.
They break apart. Yami stands, his eyes on the door and nothing else. I see his jaw set and his eyes harden, telling himself that it is time that he finally rested despite the pain of leaving this second life, his friends and family.
He walks too fast for my liking, definitely for my spirit's, his shadow cast long and harsh along the floor behind him as the white engulfs him.
I get up and I run.
I grab him and stop him, not quite believing that I've done so as I lower us both to the floor. It's surreal to have him in my arms, strange and frightening to be this close to him. I've tied him into this world now, if only for a few moments, my panicked grip keeping him from the light, keeping him with me.
And I hurt him by doing so. His ability to live is slipping, his essence caught between the worlds of the living and the dead, and leaning more towards the dead. The mortal coil is still half attached, and his breathing comes in ragged gasps completely killing the proud stature he had displayed seconds before I took him.
Half-lidded eyes widen fractionally when he realizes why I did it, his pupil's dilating a little before returning back to pinpricks again. The gasping continues as his lips pull in a small, weak smile, and a fine hand reaches up half-heartedly to my face.
He doesn't feel as I do. Maybe there was potential, a seed, a possibility for what I've craved to come into fruition, but I'll never know now. And he pities me for it as much as he appreciates the feelings I'm finally putting on display.
I stare at him, not quite comprehending any of this, but numbly take his hand and assist it in finishing its journey to my cheek.
He's cold. Freezing. Dead. His 'body's' almost dead now but I'm keeping him here torturously. I have to let him go, if only for his sake. Certainly not for mine.
Bracing myself for the lash of feeling that all of this is going to cause, I lean down to kiss his forehead once, lightly, softly enough that there's a chance that he didn't feel it.
He can't stand now though. My doing. Too long in suspension now and I've nearly destroying his opportunity for freedom.
So I carry him.
He's lighter than he should be as I trudge those last few steps, my eyes closed from the light as I walk blindly into whatever's there on the other side, likely something that's going to send me to somewhere hot.
It doesn't matter though because I had him for a few moments in the end, when it really counts. He knew when it came right down to it that I loved him.
***
Not particularly special but it's not a strain to read either. Weird, yes, but profanity free and I at least deserve a comment on *that* as it's quite an accomplishment for me.
