Millenium Snow
Blue Paper Plane
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"I love you."
He stared a long time, dumbfounded.
He had never heard her say that while she was not trying to convince him to provide her with a lifespan to last a millenium of snows. This was no different. But it didn't fail to make his heart skip a beat every time she claimed her repetitive words. It didn't prevent the heat from rising to his cheeks in an obvious, embarrasing blush. And it certainly lifted the indifferent facade he hid behind, even if it was for just a moment.
A moment. One single moment, and Toya could reveal the person he truly was.
Behind those listless words and bored expressions, Toya cared for her. Yes, he did care about Chiyuki. He did love her. He did want to murder anyone who caused her pain . . . Or mabye he just liked the idea of killing pathetic flirts like Satsuki who just got in the the way all the time.
That vampire.
That vampire wasn't uncaring. That vampire wasn't heartless.
That vampire was too tenderhearted, especially for one particular human girl.
That vampire was Toya.
That human girl was Chiyuki.
She balled her fists and made her claim again. "I want to share a love with you that will last a thousand years' worth snowfalls," Chiyuki cried.
Toya frowned and ran his hand through his soft, midnight black hair. His penetrating cobalt eyes were like an electric shock; Chiyuki could sense the lightning that sent chills down her spine as he glanced her way.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets casually. "Idiot. I really can see right through you," he lied.
He turned away, and Chiyuki was dejected, hurt.
Toya began to walk off. "Who needs you, anyway, Chiyuki?"
More footsteps. He shook his head.
"I certainly don't."
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Chiyuki had spent her whole life wondering, why me?
Why me? What did I do? I feel these pains in my chest, minor most of the time. However, the emotional agony they bring is more tourmenting. It's overwhelming. It reminds me of my cursed disease. Why God, why? I'm so happy, then there's this burden, this heavy cross you've forced me to carry to my execution. I'm bound to stumble and fall before I even make it. Why must there be my heart condition? Why?
She was sure she had now found the answer.
Toya.
Toya was the one she longed to watch a thousand snows with. He was the one who brought her true happiness. She loved him, that pure, simple, blissful feeling. She wanted him, so that they could be together, for an eternity of snow.
Chiyuki was convinced that their meeting had been fate. Toya was the one destined to save her, she was sure of it.
But he didn't understand her persistance, he didn't understand her needing or wanting. No, he thought her desire for everlasting life came from her desire to escape he fate, which was true, she would admit. But he didn't understand. That wasn't the only reason.
Toya absoloutely refused to condemn her to a thousand years of lonliness.
He was a fearful young man. He feared eternal lonliness. He feared rejection. He feared for Chiyuki's life, and her sorrow.
That boy has too many hardships, Chiyuki thought.
He needs to understand. Before it's too late.
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There were several things Toya despised with all his heart and mind.
One of those were tears.
He hated his own tears; they left him exposed, open for others to see his real, sensitive side. He hated those pitiful, broken sobs. He hated tears. They would leave wet tracks, bloodshot eyes, and clear, plain evidence that was detestable. He hated showing any emotion whatsoever, really. Toya wasn't one to cry (it was extremely rare) but unfortunately, althought he denied it, it would be a lie to say that he never wept at all.
But watching Chiyuki cry was far worse than his own tears.
It was unbearable.
Seeing Chiyuki in the extent of pain made his heart weep, because they shared the same emotions. Their love connected them into a tight, strong bind, and they despaired together, even though they weren't aware of it.
When her heart was burning and breaking, his own did, too. When she was in grave danger he put his life on the line to protect her. When she cried, he consoled her while fighting back his own tears. When she smiled that wonderful, incredible smile one of his own spread across his face.
He would do anything, everything for her.
Toya could not see Chiyuki hurting, because when he did, he felt awful. He felt like he wasn't able to do anything for her, the millenium partenership not being an option, of course. But he was always left feeling useless. He always felt that twisted, cold knot in his heart the weight of twenty pounds of guilt.
He just hated her tears . . .
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He wasn't a monster, she was sure of it.
She knew his reaction to too much blood well. She saw him cry out, she saw him try to suppress it.
And in the aftermath, everyone was safe and altogether, fine. But Toya was still always upset.
It's not your fault, Toya.
She disliked the way he covered up his true self, but in a way she didn't want him to change. This was the Toya she wanted. This was the way he was.
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Many years had gone by, yet Toya still loved her with all his heart.
Chiyuki was 19 years old now, and her condition had improved so much that it was nearly gone. But one of the accidents had caused her to suffer memory loss about two years ago. She seemed to have only forgotten minor things, but after being told about them, she remembered them quickly and was "fine".
But she had forgotten everything about Toya.
He knew this because he had come up to her after her stay in the hospital. "Well, finally you're out of there. Took you long enough, anyway."
Chiyuki had looked confused. "Do I know you?"
"Don't be an idiot, of course you know me, Chiyuki," he had scoffed.
"How did you know my name?"
He stared long and hard into her eyes. That's when he had seen that she truly could not recall a single memory regarding him.
Why, Chiyuki?
"You're right, I'm sorry," he had muttered. "I guess I mistook you for someone else."
"That's allright. I understand!" Chiyuki had smiled, still seemingly puzzled.
She's cheerful without memories of me. She doesn't miss anything.
The thought had been tearing at his heart. Tears had burned in his eyes and had run down his face.
"Um, are you okay?" Chiyuki had asked.
"Forgive me for troubling you." He had fled, sprinting away. He had wanted to scream, but I'm Toya! Toya Kanou! You have to remember me, Chiyuki! I live for you . . .
But he couldn't have done that. He couldn't have even looked back.
Toya knew he was a good liar, and he regretted many of the lies that he'd told in the past.
"I don't care about humans. You're no exception; I couldn't care less about you."
"Who needs you Chiyuki? I certainly don't."
All his lies, they had come back to bite him. Emotional wounds cut him deeper than even a vampire's bite. He'd wept; Yami-maru had come and had hovered over his head, trying to provide comfort to no avail. Toya had almost laughed at himself for the melodramatic behavior he had had lately. He had known that Chiyuki would have been alarmed and might've possibly scolded him.
But that Chiyuki was gone. She was gone. He was, too.
He stood by her house, watching her brush her having a happy meal with her family and the man named Kei.
It's better this way, now that you've forgotten me. We should have never met. We should have never gotten involved in each other's lives. I cause trouble, and this was destined to happen. I need to move on.
But I should have never told you that no one needs you, because it wasn't the truth.
Your parents need you.
Kei does.
Satsuki.
Yami-maru.
And . . . Me, too.
We all need you to survive, Chiyuki.
We all love you.
I do.
Toya watched her through the widow. She switched out the lights and climbed into bed, and was soon sound asleep.
He did every night, forever.
Two years passed, and Toya never stopped looking after Chiyuki.
He could not motivate himself to move on any longer. He could not give up on her.
