Authors note: If you don't like randomness you might not want to read this. Because we enjoy random things so ha.

Disclaimer: we don't own anything except eggy farts

Emmetts Mishaps

Bella POV

At the Cullens house Emmett babysitting

I was having a good dream about Edward when all the sudden I got a big whiff of burnt.

"Oh my word what is that rancid smell?" I screeched

I scampered out of bed and pulled on a poncho and pantyhose. I sprinted downstairs and my toe caught on the carpet and I sprawled out on my vainy eyeballs. I groaned and rolled over on my back hoping Emmett didn't see me. I galloped to the kitchen stopping dead in my tracks at the sight of Emmett.

"Oh my Alex Duman what happened to your face?" I screamed eggily.

I gawked at Emmetts face.

"Where are your eyebrows I asked"

"Well I was going to make you some breakfast and I decided on lasagna, but the grease caught on fire and BAM, they fell into your lasagna so sorry if you find a hair or two." He said prancing over to get my lasagna.

"Looks... appetizing." I said spying an eyebrow baked into the cheese.

At just that second Rosalie walked in the kitchen door and took a short sniff.

"What's that smell?" she questioned glaring murderously at me, and then she spied Emmetts eyebrow less noggin.

"Where. Are. Your. Eyebrows." she said through her teeth.

"Hiding." He said with a devious smile.

"And how do you expect to get them back?" She asked through squinty eyeballs

"Permanent marker of course." I answered earning a toothless frown and a brontosaurs like cry from Rosalie.

"Yeah," Emmett said squealing like a little girl.

Rosalie sighed having been outnumbered. "Get me a sharpie," she said shaking her head back and forth slowly like Jacob. (Inside joke)

"Yay," Emmett said giggling in a high cackling voice.

I handed Rosalie the sharpie and she started sketching out the eyebrows. She was about to put the first line on his forehead when Emmett stopped her.

"Wait there's something poking my butt." Said Emmett whipping out a power drill from his back pocket.

"Where did that come from," I asked him.

"Who knows." Rosalie said continuing on with Emmetts eyebrows. When she was done they looked like humungo boxes with jagged edges.

"Done" Rosalie said.

As I turned around in my poncho and pantyhose, there stood a breath taking Chuck Norris holding num chucks inthe fire place.

"Hey kids, what you up to?" he asked

"Nothing," I answered him

"Well merry Christmas and a happy New Year," he said sprinting and flicking a bloody boogie at me.

Authors Note: Sorry for the randomness. These are actually based on true stories. We know that eggily isn't a word but I farted and my cousin told me to use it as an adjective because were writing this story together so yeah. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!