Wish me luck - Jean x Marco
I stared into the high rising flames that contained the bodies of unknown fallen comrades... and of course him. I couldn't help but wonder which of the slowly burning corpses were his. Marco. They threw all of them in at once and now the bodies were impossible to identify. I say it like it was easy to know who was who from the mangled bodies in the first place.
I can't help but feel like I took him for granted. I always loved having him around. He was always there when I needed him, ready to dry my tears when I would open up to him. But there were always times when I would rather be on my own... man do I regret those times I pushed him away. When I would snap or say something horrible instead of letting him hold me. I fall to my knees and hang my head low. I don't want to watch it anymore. I won't cry. He wouldn't want me to.
*time skip*
I wonder back into the dorm, unable to stop myself from glancing over at his bed with the shear hope that he would be sitting there. Smiling his dorky smile. Laughing with his cheesy laugh. Anything. But it was all neat and untouched. Never to be touched by him again.
He was always smiling. That is something I hope I never forget. Even when he should have been petrified, or worried or even disappointed his smile hardly ever left his face. "I smile in the hopes that you can smile too" was something he would always say to me when we were alone. How I loved it when we were alone. I finally had his undivided attention. We got to talk about anything.
I wish I could talk to him now. He always knew what to say. I don't want to talk to anyone about his death. Nobody! I want to talk to him. I want him to be beside me telling me everything will be okay, but how can he if he is gone.
I stupidly turn my head slightly to look at his bed again. A bed I spent many nights sneaking into in order not to wake anybody else, when I just wanted him near me. Jeager was always the hardest not to wake. He didn't sleep as soundly as I thought he would. Idiot.
I can't stop the tears that now cascade down my face while looking at all his belongings. The horrifying image of his limp body leaning against the wall flashes into my mind. His bright, sunny face that I want to remember, suddenly turning into the one I had found that day. Half gone. The remains of it pale and bloodied. His remaining eye dark and lifeless. It was so hard to believe it was him. I didn't want to believe it was him. My best friend, my love, my everything.
"I hope you won't get mad when I say this... But you aren't a strong person. So you can relate to how the weak feel. In addition, you excel in sizing up any situation. Isn't that why you immediately know what should be done?" He hadn't offended me at all. He made me think. All these years he believed in me when he had no reason to. All these years he loved me when it would have been so much easier to love someone who wasn't a complete asshole. Someone who didn't pick fights with everyone. But he loved me and… damn it all… I loved him… Marco, wherever you are I will always love you.
We said we would survive this. We agreed we would see it through. I will do it all now for you. Wish me luck, Marco.
Hey,
So this is a Jean x Marco fic I wrote a loooooooong time ago but never got round to uploading it so here you go! Thanks for reading :)
~Melieboo
