Sanji loves carnivals. Yeah, maybe the food is not the greatest—seriously, who fucking fries an Oreo? People just want to die of diabetes—but the games are fun and the ambience as a whole is nice. Sanji has gone to the carnival every year since it first started making a stop in their little town, and it's not even because carnivals are great for first dates—he just loves carnivals that much.
That's why when the lovely Nami suggests for the StuCo to open a couple of booths in the carnival to raise money for their local animal shelter, which has recently seen a drop in adoption rates and is heavily under-staffed, Sanji quickly volunteers.
"A kissing booth!" he shouts excitedly, waving his hand in the air wildly. "Just imagine it! A dollar to kiss a lovely lady? We would be rich in no time!"
"Sanji! That's not…a totally bad idea," Nami says, her tone changing half-way through. "Hmm. We wouldn't have to spend any money. But who will run it?"
Everyone shares awkward glances, no one stepping up to the plate. They're all willing to volunteer at a booth, but not everyone enjoys kissing strangers.
"You're the President," Usopp reminds Nami and gets smacked for it.
"Idiot! I have a boyfriend," Nami reminds him. "I can't be kissing strangers."
"I can do it," Vivi pipes in shyly and everyone turns to look at her in surprise. Vivi transferred in a couple of weeks ago and even though she quickly made friends with Nami, she's still too shy to really be known around the school. People just know her as the quiet, nice girl.
And then, Sanji realizes something. Something absolutely horrible.
If Vivi runs the kissing booth, it means she would have to kiss anyone who pays her for it. As in, any guy that pays her for it. He can't allow for shitty bastards to kiss a lovely lady just because they have fucking money! Holy fuck, this is such a horrid idea! What if some disease-ridden fucktard comes along with a wad of cash? What if some old bastard decides they want a kiss from the lovely Vivi?
"Wait, no!" Sanji exclaims, horrified by his own thoughts. "Someone as lovely as Vivi-chan can't possibly run the kissing booth! What about all the gross, disgusting bastards that will ask a kiss from her?"
"I'm sure it's not going to be so bad," Vivi murmurs, blushing.
"Yeah, Sanji. It was your idea," Nami reminds him, glaring at him.
"Well, yes…but Nami! Surely there are better booths! Your ideas are far more perfect!"
"This one is cheap and is sure to bring us lots of money. Who wouldn't want to kiss Vivi?" Nami snaps.
"If you're so worried, why don't you volunteer?" Usopp mumbles and winces when Sanji turns to look at him.
But Sanji is not upset. Oh no…hell no. "That's fucking perfect!" he exclaims happily. "I volunteer! I mean, I'm sure I won't raise as much money as the lovely Vivi, but I can try." Besides, he will be getting paid to kiss ladies—what else can a man wish for?
Nami frowns, but ends up giving in. "Fine. But you'll be in charge of building the booth and that money is coming out of your pocket."
"Of course, Nami-swan!"
"Alright. Any other ideas?"
Sanji grins and Nami's voice becomes background noise as he starts to plan the perfect booth. They only have a week until the carnival arrives, but Sanji is sure he can plan something quickly.
He ends up enlisting the help of Usopp, who's a genius with tools, and makes the perfect kissing booth, painted pink and red with a huge heart on the top listing all the prices. Fifty cents for a kiss on the cheek, a dollar for a simple peck on the lips, and five dollars for full-blown Frenching—all with a ten second limit.
It's absolutely perfect, especially when the lovely ladies start lining up. They all think it's adorable, especially since it's for a good cause, and most of them are willing to pay up the fifty cents or the dollar for a kiss on the lips.
"How are you doing?" Nami asks, coming to check up on him during the first lull in the line.
"I've raised $245.50!" Sanji exclaims happily.
"Holy—in three hours!?" Nami gasps. "Good job, Sanji! Okay, why don't you go ahead and get something to eat, and I'll cover for you."
"Oh, but what about Luffy? Did you say he would get upset if you kissed someone else?"
"Sanji, this is Luffy we're talking about," Nami reminds him flatly. "He's way to happy playing in the bouncy castle. Now, go eat."
Sanji frowns, but he knows Nami won't back down. So instead of uselessly insisting, he hurries off to buy a burger and quickly eats it, making sure to make a stop at a porta-potty to brush his teeth (he's not gonna kiss a lady with burger breath!)
When he returns to the booth, he's pissed to see a line of about ten guys all waiting for a kiss from his goddess.
"Oi, fucking bastards! Fuck off!" Sanji yells, taking Nami's place before she's forced to kiss another bastard.
"Fuck you!" one of them shouts, but the line quickly disperses.
"Sanji, don't waste money!" Nami admonishes, but the line quickly fills up with ladies.
"Sorry, Nami!" Sanji says, but he really doesn't have it in him to feel bad when he leans up to kiss beautiful Conis in the lips softly.
This is heaven, right? He was probably killed by the old geezer in his sleep, but the joke's on him because Sanji is in fucking heaven right now.
Or at least, that's until the next person comes up.
"What the fuck do you want?" Sanji glares, irritated at the mere sight of the other man.
"What do you think?" Zoro snaps with equal annoyance and sets a dollar in front of him.
Sanji stares at it, shocked.
No. Hell now. He's not gonna fucking kiss Roronoa Zoro. Never in a fucking million years. Because not only does the green-haired man irritate him to world's end, but Sanji promised himself that he would stop fantasizing about kissing the other man. His crush on the kendo captain is so absolutely pathetic that it's not even funny.
But he already made his peace with the fact that he will never get to be with him. Zoro is too focused on his goal to become a famous swordsman to pay attention to silly stuff like relationships. Not to mention the fact that Sanji is pretty sure the swordsman hates him a little bit.
And so, Sanji decided a long time ago that he would forget about Zoro. He would stop looking at him, would stop dreaming of him, would stop instigated stupid fights for a chance to talk to him.
And he's doing pretty good—it's already been three weeks since the last time he found himself day dreaming about him. Kissing him now will throw all of his hard work away.
"I'm not kissing you," Sanji growls.
"Sanji, don't turn away money!" Nami snaps.
Sanji hesitates, loathe to make Nami upset. But why the fuck does it have to be Zoro!? And why is he even here? Does Zoro want to humiliate him?
"Fine," he says through clenched teeth. Zoro smirks and steps closer; Sanji swallows hard and closes his eyes, leaning in.
Zoro's lips are soft and warm, slightly chapped. This close, Sanji can smell a hint of steel and rice from the other man, the slightest taste of sake in his lips. Sanji counts until ten and pulls away.
"Ten second limit," he pants, his voice almost drowned by the sound of his rapidly beating heart. Fucking shit, he's in so much trouble.
"I know," Zoro says and puts down another dollar, this time using his hands to bring Sanji closer and kisses him a bit harder. He bites at Sanji's lip and the cook can feel him smirking when Sanji shudders and his breath hitches.
Shit. Shit. He's so fucking screwed.
Zoro pulls away this time, but only lays down another dollar before he kisses Sanji again, urgent and yearning. When he pulls back again, he lays down a five dollar bill.
"Zoro, wait—," Sanji tries to say, short of breath and dizzy, but Zoro ignores him and brings him in for yet another kiss desperately.
His tongue swipes at Sanji's lower lip and he opens his mouth thoughtlessly, instantly invaded by a hot and eager tongue. He shivers and Zoro holds him tighter, one of his hands sliding into Sanji's hair slowly, pulling him as close as the booth's counter allows. Electricity runs down his spine and his hands grip the counter of the booth tightly, his hips digging into the hard painfully where he's trying to step closer to Zoro.
Sanji can't think, he can't do anything else but let himself drown in the sensations drawn out of him by Zoro. His lungs are burning, his heart fluttering. And when Zoro finally steps away Sanji is unable to keep himself from staring at his lips—slick, red, and swollen—hungrily.
"That was longer than ten seconds."
Sanji jumps, the spell broken, and glances at Nami.
Holy shit, he just fucking kissed Roronoa Zoro. No, Zoro kissed him.
"Shut it, witch," Zoro snaps, blushing.
Nami's grin widens. "You know, for a hundred bucks, I'm willing to let you take our lovely Sanji out on a date."
Sanji's mouth falls open but before he can say anything, Zoro takes out his wallet and hurriedly looks through his money.
"Fuck, I've only have sixty," he groans.
Sanji blushes and quietly clears his throat. "Um…I have forty…"
Zoro responding smile is all he needs to know.
"Have fun, you two!" Nami yells happily, counting the money in her hands.
Sanji waves back at her with his free hand, the other in Zoro's firm grasp.
"You know," Zoro beings slowly. "I love carnivals."
Sanji smiles and steps closer to Zoro, letting his head rest on his shoulder as they walk. "I do, too."
