Gimli's song
To the tune of "Stupid Girls" by Pink
P.S. No offense to elves, I love elves, but this is Gimli's view before he met Galadriel
Stupid elves, stupid elves, stupid elves
Maybe if I act like them, being so tall and slim
Being a long haired elf, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
Rivendell, Mirkwood, you'll find them there
Walking so light that every race has stopped to stare
Standing so beautiful and graceful in the sun
(One by One)
It's a wonder how they come from war still alive
They have no muscles nor strength to survive
They always look so nice and clean
With their sun shiney hair cleaning their arrows and bow strings
Where, oh where, did those floaty people come?
Oh why, can't it please be me?
Maybe if I act like them, being so tall and slim
Being a long haired elf, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
If I shaved my beard like that, straighten my thick hair back
All of my strength they lack, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
(Break it down now)
They all hate us, and we hate them
Why do people stay on their side
Us dwarves have to work for what we have here
We can't trust those elves lies
I'm so glad that I'll not a dumb elf
I'm a dwarf with a beard
We dwarves, we live in a mountain
All them elvses are weird
The nine are on a quest
Evil reigns
I swear their thoughts:
Will they mess up my hair
Maybe if I act like them, being so tall and slim
Being a long haired elf, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
If I shaved my beard like that, straighten my thick hair back
All of my strength they lack, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
Interlude
(Do ya think? Do ya think? Do ya think?)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Hey guys, hand the brush please elf, Yeah, I'm short I know that elf
Shut up 'bout your figure elf, stupid elf!
Hey guys, hand the brush please elf, Yeah, I'm short I know that elf
Shut up 'bout your figure elf, stupid elf!
Guys if I was like that, Brushing that silk hair back
They are so weak - a fact, stupid elf!
Maybe if I act like them, being so tall and slim
Being a long haired elf, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
If I shaved my beard like that, straighten by thick hair back
All of my strength they lack, I don't wanna be a stupid elf
