A/N: Hello, Pasta-chan here, I decided to do a commentary on the horrible excuse for a fanfiction "My Immortal" By Tara Gillesbie. My Comments will be written in bold and the actual story written in normal text. Warning: May cause loss of brain cells and anger. I am not responsible for any injury that may be inflicted on you, your computer. I'm doing this for you people, I felt my IQ drop reading this!

Disclaimer: I do not own this story (thank god!) nor do I own Harry Potter. I do however own my commentary and my computer.

*******************************On with the Commentary*********************************

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik I don't get it, what is a 'goffick'? I know what a gothic is but not a 'goffic') 2 my gf (ew not in that way Wasn't even thinking that) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling Are you sure she helped you? Why not use spellcheck instead, hmm?. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! Didn't need to know that and you don't sound depressed.

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Oh this is just perfect! Dementia: A chronic or persistent disorder of the mental processes caused by brain disease or injury and marked by memory disorders, personality change, and impaired reasoning. and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) You were born with long black hair?!with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears How can tears be limpid, water is clear not blue? and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here! Wish I could but I'm stuck here, sadly. ). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. So you like incest. Whatever floats your boat, man. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white mine are shaped like unicorns. I have pale white skin.*sarcasm* No, really, I would have never guessed. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England Hogwarts is in Scotland and since you are a vampire you would not be allowed to go where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)I thought you were five. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell I couldn't) and I wear mostly black Stereotypes. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there First of all, Hot Topic is an American company and the only other country with Hot Topic is Canada. Second, since when is Hot Topic a gothic store, I get my anime shirts from there. For example we don't need one today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots What happened to the uniform?. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation But your already pale. Why bother?, black eyeliner and red eye shadow The mental image scared me. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining It's called sleet so there was no sun Really?, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. Just say you flipped them off and are you sure it means the same in England?

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! It's not "…." it's "…" In proper grammar there are three.

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. WHAT'S THIS MY EARS ARE PICKING UP?! SHY?! DRACO MALFOY?! HAS THE APOCOLYPSE COME FOR US?! *goes and cries in corner*

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. No goodbye? How rude!

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! No it was not and that was an awful pun, stop making it.

A/N: Here is the first chapter of this monstrosity. One down and… 43 more to go =_=. Oh dear. I apologize if anyone's IQ dropped by reading this. And yes I will be doing the 'hacker' chapter as well.

-Pasta-chan