Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men and have no intention to.

Hmm... I had recieved some very disconcerting reviews from my gas story, and the

natzi thing wasn't meant to offend, thats just how she runs things and many of my

family died in the holocaust anyways so I'm sorry if you the collective were angered.

Besides, I happen to like gas. I had been grounded once for burping so that was funny to me.

Email me your weird grounding stories.


It Was All a Joke To You.


Really, in all imagenation of the psyche, I should be ashamed of myself. I let myself

be open to you against all my better judgement and you usd that against me.

Me, a certified, triple doctorate, manipulated by a woman, and if that weren't bad,

I let you back, not once or twice, three times could have been understandable, but I

trusted you five times and each time you stabbed me in the proverbial, blue back.


Trish, had you no shame? What was I to you? A way to advance your career? I was so extatic

to find someone I thought had loved me, I was so blinded by my self conscienceness that I

eagerly let you walk over me and turn me into the media's mutie fool.

And I bet you laughed. You, everyone in that news room, behind my back, who knows what of my

secrets became break room banter! I'm sick of this! You said you loved me and now I'm

wondering how much the news paid you to pretend you cared.


The many nights spent tangeled in my cotton sheets and your perfume filling my sences,

all that comes rushing back to my mind and I want to believe you when you say that

"you didn't mean for thing to happen like this." and "You didn't mean that." Lord, Trish

I want to believe you. I don't even know why I keep putting up with you and

all that garbage you put me through. I never, ever lied to you. Now, I feel that evey word that escaped those rosey

lips was nothing but half truths mixed with situated facts. Now I'm left to sort through it all.


You never realy care, did you. Why did I care so much? Was it the attention? I just don't know.

What can I say, other than I am a fool? An idiot, yes, I knew that. I fell in love with you.

With all the blessed intellect I possess, I still couldn't see right through you.

I should have listened to Bobby about you. I should have listend to anybody about you.

The signs were there that you didn't need me, that I was just your novel playtoy.

The love wasn't there. You weren't there. How could I ever even ask you to understand?

I'm reduced to writing all my fears and woes in a journal to keep from losing you, but

now, now I fear that losing you would be the best thing for me now.


Could I ever get over what you've done, Trish? Or will I just keep takeing you back?

This isn't fair to me, and it's not fair to you, so, how do I let you know,

that I know, you don't love me anymore?

End entry.