Sarah was putting things into boxes. Not many things, she noticed, because she didn't really have much of anything. A few pictures, appliances, and toiletries… clothes, mostly. Twirling around and taking in her 'apartment' for what would be the last time, she sighed and plopped down onto her bed. The past year had been a whirlwind for her. Her boyfriend Bryce was shot to death and she was sent on a mission to watch over this geek who accidentally downloaded government secrets into his brain. She reminded herself that nothing was out of question in her line of work, but somehow this year was more trying. She picked up a few picture frames that were lying on top of a sealed box of clothes. Two faces looked up at her, their smiles lighting up the room behind her. She was, in fact, looking at a picture of her and the man with the secrets in his head. Chuck. Smiling, she placed the picture back down onto the cardboard box and drew her legs in towards her chest.
Sarah's term in California was up and her flight was leaving in five hours. After a series of rigorous tests the CIA deemed Chuck safe to integrate into society again, not that he wasn't already functioning normally anyway. The CIA just meant that Sarah had done her job and was no longer required. Chuck's flashes dissipated after a few new intersects went up and well, there was really no need for agent Walker anymore. In a way it was like a breath of fresh air, but in another way it was like the kiss of death. She was beginning to enjoy her new life in California; her new life with Chuck in it. She enjoyed the west coast, the sand, the sun, the people… but mainly, she kept reminding herself, she enjoyed Chuck's company and friendship. The fact that she was about to leave it all behind brought bitter tears to her eyes.
Sarah had a hard time comparing her relationship with Chuck to any other relationship she had. Of course she formed close friendships with people she had to work with, and he was no exception. The more and more she thought about it, she discovered that she cared more about Chuck than Bryce. She hated when she had to lie to him, she hated knowing she broke his heart every time she refused to let her guard down just a little. He laid his whole existence on the line while she kept everything all locked up. With Bryce, it was different. He lied, she lied. However, as time went on, she learned he lied a lot more than she ever did. This truth scratched at Sarah's insides and caught up in her throat. At times like this she hated her job.
Just as she was going through her kitchen cupboards to make sure she had taken everything, the doorbell rang. The small sound echoed through the empty apartment, clinking off of the windows. Her instincts told her it was Chuck and her instincts were usually always right. Putting down a frying pan, she walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. There stood a defeated Chuck Bartowski, hair all messed up from the freak thunder shower that now pelted the windows behind her. Sighing quietly, Sarah undid the padlock and opened the door slowly.
'All packed up?' Chuck looked around her into the rooms of the apartment. He was not intruding or forceful, but Sarah knew to invite him in. His warm eyes met hers and Sarah immediately noticed the dark circles that accompanied them. She felt a twinge of sadness once again.
'Yeah, looks that way,' she said hesitantly, folding her hands in front of her and rocking back and forth on the spot. She was trying her hardest not to tell Chuck everything that was running through her head at that very moment. In a matter of hours she would be out of this state and far, far away from Chuck. In fact, he would never be able to contact her again and because of this Sarah decided to keep up the charade.
Chuck was sitting on the edge of her bed, fiddling with his hands. He looked as if he really wanted to say something but didn't know how. Sarah kept her distance for fear of getting too close and letting something slip. She placed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and took a step forward, looking out the windows.
'I can't believe this is over,' he finally said quietly, staring at the floor. '…this whole year… It's been unbelievable,' he remarked. Sarah nodded and began biting her thumbnail. She knew where this was going and didn't really want to talk about their situation.
'I mean,' he continued, staring at the walls, 'everything. Bomb threats, diamond stealing, fighting ninjas…'
'Fighting ninjas? You were such a wimp. I totally kicked your ass,' Sarah laughed as she sat down on the opposite end of the bed and put her feet up.
'What?' asked Chuck, his eyes widening. 'That was you? In my house?'
Sarah laughed at his expression. The fact that he hadn't figured it out made her smile. Chuck was just Chuck and… well, she had to stop thinking about that right now.
'Of course it was. You couldn't handle a real ninja, Bartowski. I went easy on you.'
Chuck smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes which caused Sarah to continue biting her thumbnail. Remembering their 'dates' had made her all nostalgic and even more hesitant to leave behind a life she had learned to love.
'You know,' Chuck whispered, looking over at her, 'you don't have to go.'
It was almost as if he was pleading and that just tore at Sarah's insides.
'I do,' she said. 'I have to follow rules. You know, something you don't do at your job.' Her attempt to lighten the situation failed horribly; Chuck looked down at the floor again and sighed. She wanted to reach over and hug him, to tell him everything she ought to tell him… but she couldn't. Not now. The silence was growing between them but yet Sarah didn't dare break it, and Chuck looked as if he was thinking deeply.
'Well,' he said softly, standing up, 'I guess… I guess that's all I came over here to do.' He brushed off his jeans and looked over at her from her spot on the other side of the bed. She laughed at that statement.
'What did you come over here to do, exactly? Because I'm pretty sure nothing's really changed.'
She immediately regretted her choice of words; she thought Chuck would get the implied joke but in this state he apparently didn't.
'I can't make you stay,' he said in a casual tone. 'I mean, well, this job. They won't let you I guess. And I hate that, I really do, because I'm really going to miss you. And I just wish there was some way this didn't have to happen and we could date for real…'
'Chuck,' Sarah cut him off quietly. 'I know.' She really did know everything he felt because at that same moment, and perhaps for the past few months, she had felt exactly the same way. They both harboured feelings for each other deep down… well maybe in Chuck's case they weren't so deep down; the boy always wore his heart on his sleeve. 'Come here,' she said calmly, and patted the bedspread beside her. He took a few slow steps and then sat down, a defeated look zapping all the warmth out of his eyes.
'This year's been trying,' she finally said after a few moment's silence. 'Really trying. I mean, well… you know exactly what I mean.' He nodded and looked down at his hands. Sarah sighed and straightened up a bit before continuing on. 'But if its any consolation, I'm glad it was the way it was.' Chuck looked up and smiled weakly.
'Yeah,' he said softly, 'if Doc Brown showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to go back to the time before I opened that e-mail, I would tell him to frig off.' Sarah giggled at his Back to the Future reference and tucked her hair behind her ears before sitting sideways to look at Chuck face on.
'This is kind of late, but I guess it's better now than never…,' Sarah smiled and glanced up at the ceiling, trying to keep those salty tears at bay behind her eyes, 'Chuck Bartowski, I…'
Her phone began ringing loudly from its place on her deserted nightstand. She jumped up instinctively and answered it.
'Hello?' she tried to wipe away the tears that streaked down her face discreetly. 'Okay… I'll leave right now. Thanks.' Her boss back in Washington had called to inform her that her flight would be leaving early. She placed her phone down gently on the stand and took a deep breath, turning around to face Chuck.
'I know, you need to give me this picture back,' he said casually, cradling the picture of them taken last Halloween. Sarah had borrowed it to make a copy and had forgotten to give it back.
She knew that Chuck knew that is not what she had meant to say before her phone rang. But this was a good exit strategy and she silently thanked him for it.
'Yeah, sorry… I… yeah, that's yours,' she stuttered. He smiled half-heartedly and looked down at the picture which Sarah, ten minutes previously, had been looking at.
'We look real,' he said, rubbing the wooden frame with his thumb. Sarah nodded and willed those tears to stop in their tracks. Chuck smiled another smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before tucking the picture under his arm and looking up at her.
'Well, I'll let you go. Have a safe flight… home, or wherever it is you're going. I'd say don't forget to write but since you're not allowed…'
Sarah ran over to where he was standing in front of the door and wrapped her arms around him, instantly feeling dizzy. She had never ever felt this close to anyone before and it showed. She pulled back a few moments later and standing on her tip-toes, looked up at him. 'Is this the part where I'm forced to kiss you?' she said, looking through misty eyes. A 1000-watt smile danced at the corners of his lips before he nodded in agreement, and as she leaned in he couldn't help but shed a few tears of his own.
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'Flight 601, this is your boarding call.'
There was a static energy in the Los Angeles International Airport and Sarah felt it course through her body. It was an energy that welcomed change yet resented it. It was this energy, she later believed, that could be attributed to the fact that she ignored her boarding call.
Picking up her phone, she dialled the CIA headquarters in Washington and waited for the automated answering system to finish up its usual spiel.
'This is Agent Sarah Walker and I'd like to resign.'
Hanging up her phone, she hurriedly began dialling Chuck's number. It was as if her fingers couldn't dial the oh-so familiar numbers fast enough. The annoying sound of ringing on the other line suddenly didn't sound so annoying. It was the sound of hope, promise, love, and a life of sand, Star Wars, and true happiness waiting to begin.
