So I listened to the song Demons by Imagine Dragons and it immediately made me think of Zach.
I literally started crying listening to it because every word fit Zach's situation perfectly.
It's like they made this song especially for Zach. So to everyone who reads this, stop for a second, pull up another page, go on Youtube and LISTEN TO THE SONG!
And then you'll understand what I mean.
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
I found him at the pigeons.
Gallagher Academy was in a state of chaos right now. Sirens were blaring. Doors were shutting down. The Blackthorne Boys were whisked away in a helicopter and probably never to be seen again. The Gallagher Girls were locked in their dorms. My mother was barking in the phone for backup from Langley. Teachers prowled the deserted halls and tunnels.
Through all the frenzy and hysteria, I managed to slip quietly away for my own search. My friends had tried to haul me back into our room, but they don't call me the Chameleon for nothing. My body was made to disappear and I was determined to find the cause for all this chaos.
Him.
I slowly advanced towards where he was standing, staring blankly at the empty blackboard that once harboured 's scribbles. He didn't turn around but I knew he knew I was there.
"Gallagher Girl."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and came to join him. It was surprisingly quiet up here, despite all the panic that was going on just below us.
"Zach," I greeted casually, running my fingers across the railing of the blackboard, chalk powder whitening my fingertips.
Neither of us looked at each other.
"What are you doing here?" He asked stuffing his hands in the pockets of his uniform pants. I remembered how when Zach first came to Gallagher, we had gushed about how hot he looked in our uniform, how he managed to make a tie and khakis seem effortlessly sexy and casual.
Now I couldn't help but think it was all fake, him, being here at the Academy, wearing the uniform, was all…fake.
"Looking for you."
"To turn me into Langley?" His voice sounded slightly amused, not at all worried when he definitely should be. But I had to hand it to him, Zach was good at keeping very panicking situations light.
I felt a shudder run through my body at his words, saying them made it all too real. I found myself chewing my lips; a habit of mine I used to do when I was scared or nervous and hadn't done it for years, finally turning to look at him.
"I don't believe them," I told him firmly.
A small smile broke onto Zach's face, but it was a sad one.
"You do." He said gently. "You just wish you didn't."
I returned my gaze to the blackboard, feeling the pit in my stomach grown until it threatened to suck me in as well.
"There has to be some kind of explanation-"
"There's not," Zach cut me off sharply. "I'm the son of the most wanted terrorist and that's –that."
I looked at him with astonishment. "Aren't you even going to try to plead innocent?"
Zach laughed, finally looking at me with those indecipherable dark eyes.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul but Zach's ink-black pupils revealed nothing. It was just an endless abyss of darkness swimming with secrets, too many to tell and certainly too many to hide.
"I'm anything but innocent."
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
"Zach," I whispered as though someone might hear us. Even though was sure we were very much alone.
From the distance I could hear the whirring of the Langley chopper landing at Gallagher, armed with professional operatives ready to hunt Zach down. We didn't have much time, but Zach didn't look worried.
"What did you do? You can tell me," I touched his shoulder. "You really can."
Zach's Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and shook his head vehemently. "No," He replied in a choked whisper. "I really can't."
I was torn. My brain kept telling me to do the logical thing and run away, report the location of the "double agent". He was the enemy.
But my heart wouldn't let me accept that. We got close. We had jokes. Inside jokes. We laughed. We kissed. He healed my broken heart and taught me to love once again. I refused to think it was fake.
He just had to let me in. What could I do? What can I say that will get him to trust me?
I stared down at my shoes, taking deep breaths.
Finally I summoned up the courage to look at him.
"I love you."
Zach gasped and snapped his eyes towards me which were wide with alarm.
He looked like a deer caught in headlights. If I wasn't frozen in my feet I might have laughed at his expression. Or joked about where the perfect poker face has gone to now.
My heart was thudding in my chest but I forced myself to keep on looking at him.
"What?" Zach whispered. "What did you just say?"
I rolled my eyes. Like he hasn't heard it. Spies hear everything.
"I. Love. You." I repeated slowly and Zach almost jumped out if his skin.
He backed away hastily, almost tripping over a chair in his haste to put some distance between us like we were in fifth grade again.
I tried not to let the hurt show on my face, especially his face was etched with utter horror. Am I really that bad?
"No," he whispered, shaking his head as if that will swat away the words from reaching his ears. "No, no, no! You don't!"
"What the hell?" I snapped. "Who are you to tell me what I feel? I love you. Whether you like it or not."
"Stop saying that!" Zach yelled. He was breathing heavily. His eyes still held that wild, shocked look. "Don't you ever."
The threat hung in the air.
I almost crumpled at his horrified stare. It was obvious he didn't feel the same way.
I felt stupid as held back unnecessary tears. Why am I even feeling for this guy? He's an evil terrorist.
What did I think, that this - whatever it is - will even work?!
Everyone is cowering in fear right now because of him.
I kept repeating this, trying to convince myself but my heart still stung.
I felt my hands curl up into fists, white hot anger running through my veins. At what, I don't know. Everything really.
"Fine," I shouted. "You don't want to be loved by a girl like me. That's fucking fine.
But honestly? I don't understand what's your damn problem. You act like a standoffish snob. You won't let anyone be your friend. You always look so miserable. But," I shook my head, laughing like a crazy person.
"But you talked to me. You flirted with me. Dare I say it, you led me on. But I never really knew you past your smirk and cryptic comments.
I care for you," I stressed. "I actually give a damn about you. But you - you," I faltered, not finding the words. Words wouldn't do justice at the pain I was feeling.
"You are going to die alone. You are going die unhappy and bitter. Because you never learned to trust anybody. To let anyone in. And I tried. I tried so hard.
But not anymore. You are a screwed up person and I'm just so tired of chasing you around. I'm done with you. I hope-"
I faltered. I was going to say I hope you rot in the Langley cell.
I couldn't bring myself to those words. I still love him. How could I ever want him to have that fate.
I didn't really think my words made any difference, for Zach was still facing the board with his back to me, so I just sighed and walked away, back to where I came.
I didn't know what is going to happen to Zach, and I really didn't want to stick around and watch.
All I knew is that I was left with with a broken heart that would take God knows how long to heal.
Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell-bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
I just reached for the doorknob when a sound caught me in surprise. It was a sound of pure anguish and agony. I only headed once in my life, when my mom had just found out dad went MIA. I was startled awake dead in the night by that sound.
My back straightened like I got an electrical shot. Slowly I turned around, surprised to see Zach was no longer standing, but hunched against the wall, his hands covering his face. His broad shoulders shook like he was crying.
I couldn't stand the sight. Despite what he did to me, who he is, I quickly strode over to him, sinking down to the floor beside him.
I opened my mouth, not sure of what to say, and reached out, about to touch him yet not quite sure, when Zach looked up at me.
He was not crying but his eyes were red.
"You're right, you're right," he kept on repeating.
My fingers shook as I gently caressed his smooth, flawless face.
Zach's eyes shut and he took in a shuddery breath. "Don't leave me. Not yet."
He's the enemy! Don't trust him! My conscience kept on nagging. Mr. Soloman always reminded us to listen to that voice - our gut, our instinct.
I remember the panic my sisters were having, the look in my mother's eyes. For the first time she looked scared.
It made me wonder exactly what Zach was capable of.
And yet, despite everything, I found myself saying. "I'm not going anywhere."
It was stupid I know. But at that moment my spy senses seemed to be shut off or something.
A sigh ran through Zach's body and he leaned back, hitting his head against the wall a bit too hard.
"Careful!" I blurted reflexively reaching my hand out to the back if his head.
Zach sighed again and turned to look at me.
"You're right you know?"
"Zach-"
"Let me say this," Zach rushed on. "I don't let anyone near me because I honestly don't know how to well, return feelings. I'm not a person you want to be with. I'm dangerous. I've done bad things."
"But you don't like it," I said softly.
Zach shook his head. "No I don't. But I have to. It's all I know how to do. I'm in too deep." His eyes glazed over and I felt compelled to slip my palm in his.
He held my hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against mine. "I'm in too deep," Zach repeated. " I wasn't supposed to stay this long. I was supposed to slip away quietly. But I... couldn't." He looked at me. "Because of you."
Your eyes they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
"Me?" Did I just squeak? Like a freaking mouse?
"I couldn't stay away. God, you had me addicted." He laughed quietly. " I hated you for that. I figured...that I'll just have to live with my feelings. I would just walk away without you ever knowing, even though it broke my heart and pained me like nothing I've ever known. But then you started to feel the same way. And that is a problem."
I just started to realize what Zach was trying to tell me.
"Are you saying that you... love me too?"
"Honestly Gallagher Girl. Who could not? Of course I love you."
I sat there, sinking this in. A golden, fuzzy feeling started to spread. Suddenly my head felt light and full if bubbles.
I know this sounds totally girly and I'm probably not even explaining it properly. It was just unexplainable giddiness of the sorts knowing the boy you love feels the same way.
Before I could stop myself, it was like my arm had a mind if its own as it shot out and pulled Zach's head toward mine, kissing him hard.
It felt just as good as before but this kiss was more desperate, more hungry, like we don't have much time (which we don't) and we had to savour every last drop.
"Let's run away," I gasped out as we pulled away.
Don't get to close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Zach's breath hitched. "Gallagher Girl you don't know what your saying-"
"I do," I said more firmly, the shaky idea solidifying.
"I want to be with you."
Zach stared at me as if contemplating before shaking his head rapidly. "No Gallagher Girl. I can't drag you into my life. You have your whole life ahead of you. I can't - I won't - do that to you."
"That life isn't worth it without you," I confessed sounding exactly like one of those naive, lovesick girls but it's true.
"You think I can live without knowing what happened to you? Whether you're safe or not? I can't okay? I need you."
Zach's eyes softened. He seemed to understand the feeling - the overwhelming feeling of, well, whatever it is. Want, need, love. Just seeing their face and being happy. And anxious when their gone.
"Are you sure?" He said softly. "If they find out you'll be an accomplice. You'll no longer be welcomed in the CIA. Your life will be ruined Gallagher Girl."
Ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was to be the top CIA agent. To make my father and my mother proud. To carry on the Cameron/Morgan legacy. And here I was throwing it all away for a boy. And I thought nothing of it.
"No it won't," I contradicted without batting an eye. "I'm sure Zach. I love you."
I never thought I'd live the day to see tough bad boy Zachary Goode to cry. But at that moment his eyes watered and realized it was all just a facade he was forced to put on. Under that smirk, jokes and confidence was a scared, parentless boy with nowhere to turn and no one to count on.
But not anymore. I won't let him down like everyone else.
Zach nodded mutely and kissed me again, passionately and sweetly. I felt his salty tears stain my cheeks.
"I love you too," he whispered in my lips. "I love you so much and I can't imagine losing you."
He pulled away, quickly losing the emotions as fast as it came.
"Okay," he said getting back to business. "We have to leave right away. Already so much time has been lost and it won't take long for them to discover this place. I've got money we can use in a trustable bank. Withdrawal won't leave a trace. I've also got some safe houses we can stay in for a while. We'll get off the grid and stay off the grid."
I nodded, adapting his attitude, spy instincts coming back. "I know a passageway that can lead us directly outside. It's a right, dirty fit but -"
Zach grabbed my hand and pulled me up. He didn't let go and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Lead the way."
I was hopeful. We can make it. We're going to get out of this mess. Zach will be safe again.
And maybe, that's why all hell broke loose.
The door was suddenly ripped off its hinges. Lights flashed and for a moment I was blinded. All I heard was footsteps and shouting and then all if a sudden Zach and I were ripped apart.
I was horrified to see three operatives holding him down, and a dozen or so stood in a circle guns trained on him. All over his body were little red dots flashing.
"No!" I screamed lunging towards him only to be caught by the middle of my waist and hauled back.
Bex, Aunt Abby and my mom struggled to hold me back as I kicked and screamed and lashed. Through my tears I saw the operatives chaining Zach's hand together. Another chained his throat and waist and was pulling him forward like he was a rabid animal.
"Zach!" I screamed.
He started struggling against them, pulling away just enough to look at me.
"I'll see you again Cammie! No matter how long it takes I promise! I love you!"
And then they pulled him into the helicopter followed by a dozen armed operatives.
I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. We watched the helicopter lift off the air and fly away, taking my lover and my heart away.
Exhausted I sagged against my captors who still had their arms wrapped tightly around me as if I might jump off the roof and try to fly off as well. I was seriously tempted to.
"We're so sorry Cammie," Liz whispered as she and Macey came up beside us.
I didn't reply. Everything was dream state from then on. I felt like I was dead, like a zombie. My emotions were gone. My heart has been ripped out. My soul had died.
All I can do was wait for him, like he promised.
Until then, Zachary Goode, the boy who behind all those walls had a broken spirit but a kind heart, only existed in my dreams.
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Demons - Imagine Dragons
So um yeah, a little sad but hey, not all situations can be fluffy. I tried not to make less cliché as possible so maybe it's a little bit realistic? Review to let me know your thoughts?
I think I should probably explain why I haven't updated Trick of Light or Heart on Your Sleeve for months. I didn't think I would be this busy this summer, since I usually don't have any social life…
Honestly, I wrote chapter 11 for Trick of Light and chapter 4 for Heart on Your Sleeve a long time ago. Like, right after I updated the previous chapters. Except there were some parts missing, some parts that I didn't feel satisfied with.
I only write when I'm inspired and that inspiratin hasn't hit me yet. I AM NOT GIVING UP THE STORIES! I'll finish them, I promise. You guys just have to be patient with me. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorite/followed. You guys are awesome. Please bear with me. Love you!
Plain Is Prettiest!
(At least to Zach Goode and I!)
