Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am merely a sick, twisted individual who has random misfirings in her brain. Full Monty belongs to Simon Beaufoy, and Once Upon a Time belongs to Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz. Just playing with the characters.

"Rum, could you come here please?"

Rumplestiltskin smiled as he left the kitchen, heading to the study where his Belle (finally, again, always HIS) had recently been teaching herself more about this world they now lived in. A world formerly without magic, but slowly integrating with their world. And so far, Belle had discovered computers and the internet. For a girl who thanked him with tears in her eyes when he brought her a book, it was a miracle that she was determined to get as much use out of as she could.

"What did you find this time love? I can't imagine anything would top that Project Gutenberg you were telling me about last week."

Rumplestiltskin was brought up short by the sight that greeted him when he actually reached the study. Belle sat at the desk, not looking at him, but there was a pile of clothing on the desk next to her, topped with a hat, and a song softly played in the background. The computer screen was dark, allowing him to see the smirking face of his True Love. "What's this all about then love?" he asked, the song prompting both a smile and a feeling of terror, although he did not know why.

"Tell me Rum, did you ever allow yourself to remember much of Mr. Gold's past?" Rumplestiltskin felt the terror grow larger as Belle turned to look at him, the smirk not abating in the least.

"Only what pertained to this town. I was too busy trying to track down everyone's past and beloved mementos to worry about it. And given their fear, it's not like any of them would care what my life was supposed to have been like."

The smirk on Belle's face faded into a genuine smile as she stood, pulling her love into a kiss at the tinge of bitterness in his voice. "So you were unaware that your name was not originally Simon Gold? That your birth name was Gary Schofield? A steel factory worker?" At that, Rumplestiltskin shook his head, foggy memories starting to unfold in his mind. As Belle opened her mouth to continue revealing what she had found, the false memories suddenly cleared up, and Belle had the honor of being the first person to see what Rumplestiltskin looked like when shocked, terrified, and embarrassed all at the same time.

"No, there is no way you could have-" His denial was cut short as Belle, with a laugh of (nearly) pure delight, turned the computer monitor back on, revealing a picture of a younger Gold wearing nothing but a bright red thong and a security worker's hat.

"Oh yes, dearie," she practically sang. "Seems they let someone record the whole thing, and they ended up posting it for poor frustrated maiden princesses to see. So if you don't want this sent to Sheriff Swan, I believe we need to make a deal."