Title: Lashing Out
By: Amanda
Feedback: sweety167yahoo.ca
For: Janine, magdalena01
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Neither Smallville nor Superman are owned by me. If I owned them…let's just say this season would be VERY different!
Spoilers: Season 5/6
Pairing: Chloe/Lex
Summary: The thin line between love and hate.
Completed: December 3, 2006
Notes: I have to explain all those snarky comments from Lex about Chloe…and I have to process the whole Lana thing somehow…
"Congratulations on finally getting a boyfriend Chloe."
Bastard!
Who the hell do you think you are Lex, no, "Mr. Luthor"? You don't get off treating me like that…Condescending me. Treating me like some kid you need to step on.
You act as if there were never endless conversations and bottomless cups of coffee between us. Like there wasn't years of verbal sparring. Or extra favours. Of letting me stay late at the Talon to finish an article and you insisting on driving me home.
You're forgetting the first time your hand crept onto my knee, and how I didn't pull away.
The way you snarl at me now with those cold, hateful eyes, you're forgetting the heated fumblings in the front seat of the Porsche. Your eager hands and hot breath. When you kissed me.
I never asked you for a definition then, never demanded you label what we were doing. Never once asked to be admitted as yours. When you ran your fingers over my skin, that was all the claim I ever needed. No false, breathy words, just the way you'd make me blush.
You act so damned righteous now, as if you've never had your hands between my thighs!
If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous now that someone has me. Made a claim to me. An honest, open claim. But how can you be jealous when you've got the precious Lana Lang…
Why is it you seem to be collecting Clark's girls anyway? What kind of sick competition is it? To fumble behind closed doors with me, and openly capture Lana. Trying to show Clark who the better man is? How you're man enough to take what he wouldn't?
Then how does it feel to be bested by a boy Lex? Jimmy has the balls to stand up to you, and Clark, to admit I'm his. Hell, he's even proud of it. He doesn't hide it, doesn't explain it away by trying to be friends, or making sloppy excuses. He's man enough to say he wants me, not fool around with fragile high school girls in false fantasies.
And does Lana know about your games? In all your new, frank honesty, does she know the real reason why I get under your skin the way I do? Does she understand where all your hostility comes from? Or why you have the need to lash out at me? How you taught me to use my mouth for more than witty comebacks. Does she know that spot behind your ear that makes you whimper? The spot I found, the spot I used and fed on… Does she have any idea the real reason you're so tense when I'm around? Does she know that I really am the right person to advise her against you?
Does she know about all those times you called our dorm room were for me? She was all a flutter seeing your name on the caller ID, assuming the hang up was hers, ignoring that they came when she was out with you. What was it you wanted from me when you called anyway? What did you expect from this boyfriend-less wonder?
But I frustrated you, still frustrate you. You couldn't break me. I wasn't manipulated by your offered confessions when you hid the bigger truths, wasn't swayed by the Luthor blood lust. Never blushed at your wealth.
It never changed plain, old Chloe Sullivan.
You know, I liked regular Lex. The regular guy with a sharp tongue and coffee addiction. Who would smile and joke and fight living under his father's shadow. The normal guy who would talk about world politics, new technologies, books he read. Someone who used to pour his own coffee. The guy who knew how I took mine.
What ever happened to him? Did he lose?
So fine, I'll take your hostility. I'll take your attempts at hurting me, it just means that I got to you. I means that the old Lex, the regular Lex, honestly felt something for me. Maybe even hurt when I walked away.
Is that it? Is it easier to lash out then to feel something? Are you safer if you attack me?
You're right, I finally got a boyfriend. I'm no longer stuck in the games of a millionaire playboy; I've grown up. It's too bad you never got the chance to Lex.
