Hello, welcome to Blood has a Horrible Taste and like how it sounds… it's a Vampire fic where I will be focusing more on MinaKushi since I'm in the mood to play with them. Heheh. Thank you for checking it out. And yeah, this is what I am talking about, Maj. :) I hope I can help you cure your Twilight trauma. XD. You'll love Twilight when you see the spoof, though. Heheh.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto as well Minato's heart. I wish I had.
Kushina: I thought it's Madara Uchiha that you love the most?
Rei: Look, Kushina. I am a fangirl. I can love Madara, Minato, Sasuke, Naruto, Deidara and Kiba ALL at the same time.
Kushina, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Itachi and Izuna: (bring out placards) WE WON'T ALLOW IT!
Rei: (troll face) Warnings: Might as well throw in ecchi and yaoi. Boys are always boys!
Sasuke and Naruto: WE WON'T ALLOW IT!
Minato: Just leave me out of that YAOI thing. ^_^
Naruto: … I hate you, Dad.
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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Summary: After that horrible incident that drove Minato at the edge of life, he just wished he didn't let that man have his way with him. Now, he has to deal with living in the world, being not a human that he once was… and keeping them away from his family that they yearn to turn.
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
I yearn for love… I long for blood… the best things that bore the most horrible taste in my tongue…
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He blinks his eyes and remembers the things vividly within his head. Everything has used to be so normal… before that one stressful and tiring winter night.
The road was covered with snow but the signs weren't clouded enough to be unseen. His speed was at standard and the car was at its perfection, engines purring smoothly despite the busy day. He yawned in exhaustion yet his eyes continued to remain in the road, the wipers slightly contributing to his weakness. Everything was like what he knew they were, as if time had been replaying over and over again whenever he gets home from his office. The loop had not been disrupted ever since he drove there… it was just that one night where everything went wrong.
The signs of the train stopped working due to the weather… rendering the passers-by defenseless from the coming of the unstoppable object of pure steel. The board never went down and the signals never sounded through the lonely road. The train approached the crossing as if the train driver noticed nothing amiss. Oblivious of the mechanical fault, the car continued crossing the rails… with the thought of getting back to the garage to already rest for this one long day. But the thoughts of the driver remained a dream… a horrible encounter decided to end his fleeting misery.
The train rammed through the car like it was just a tin can beneath its wheels despite the fact that the train driver is already holding down the brakes. The poor old Porsche got dragged away from the crash site for almost 50 meters and it got the car crumpled as if a paper. The driver got stuck inside, bleeding to his own death. But a mysterious man reached out through his broken windshield and touched his face, "Poor mortal… do you wish to live longer? Do you wish to survive?"
"…" His lashes wouldn't even flutter at the scary phenomenon… his unmoving eyes did nothing but to stare. Time seemed to stop at the very instance of their conversation… or maybe it was because he was dying. But the man held the broken glass to purposely cut his palm and give it a blood-spurting squeeze, "Here, poor mortal. Take it… but I shall warn you, there is no turning back." He reached out to the driver's mouth and smothered him with the blood flowing out from the wound. Even though he was slowly losing consciousness, the driver knew the difference in the taste of their bloods…
It was way horrible than his blood… it was way bizarre than anything he have eaten before. But that didn't bother him… a man who was creeping into the Gates of Hell. The stranger closed his eyes with his bloody hand and left quickly as the sound of screaming conquered the spot. In there, he lied half-dead… uncertain of what came after as a voice rang in his head, "Rest now, mortal. For tomorrow will be a much bizarre world in where you must live."
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
Rei Haruno —Sakura no Imooto
Chapter 1: Unscathed
…
His eyes continue to blink as he reminds himself of those seconds… the time Death knocked at his doorstep. With the identity of that man and what he really did to him remain to be a mystery, the guy just has to continue on with his second life. He has a wife to feed and a small boy to help go through his education years. He stretches at his seat and yawns in boredom… thinking about things has made him sleepy, indeed.
"Minato, I can't believe you're slacking off for today." A woman with a scary-looking face decorated by weird tattoos and in a tight black suit and skirt marches into his office, bearing folders begging for approval. Minato, the guy, grins in apology as he takes the folders she has given him, "Sorry, Tsume. I was just thinking about things." He then starts looking into them as the woman gazes out his window, "I know you can be doing that now… since it's just been two weeks since you got your ass into a life-and-death situation. I heard you only needed a week to fully recover. Are you a cat in any way?"
"I don't really know." He then goes reading the folders and then the woman chuckles before leaving, "Okay, I get it. Keep on sticking your nose at the paperworks, Minato Namikaze." He waves goodbye and then the blonde guy sighs in his seat. He has not felt anything weird ever since the accident… aside from the additional attention his wife is starting to give him. He puts back the folder at his table and lies back at his seat… "Maybe I really need a day-off one of these days."
The blonde guy then stirs as he realizes that he has fallen asleep while watching the hands of the clock… and now, it is way past 5 PM. He needs to get going to pick his son from school and his little boy will be mad again if he turns out to be late… because he slept at his office. He practically runs around the building to go out for a moment and take his son home. He races to the parking lot and fishes for his keys at his pockets… only to realize that he has left them at his office. He slaps himself in the face and chuckles, "Minato, you're starting to get stupid."
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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Minato turns to a corner to look around if his son is somewhere to be found along the playground where they always meet. In fact, he is… but the presence of that stranger around his son bothers the father. He parks the car at where it is legal and then he slowly goes near to where his son is… sitting at the swing next to a teenage-looking man. The child is laughing as he talks with the man, he doesn't seem to be a stranger to the kid as what Minato can see. He decides to sneak somewhere and stay there without being suspicious as he watches them and listens to what his son and the man is talking about.
"I see. Your Mom must be equally wonderful." The man smiles at him and then the blonde child speaks, "Mommy is working as a drug specialist. She creates medicines to cure people! She's not much like Daddy… but I love them both!" The man then reaches out to stroke at the child's hair, "I envy you, Naruto. I never enjoyed being around my father and mother that much. I also rarely meet up with my brother. Most of the time, I'm alone… I'm really happy you were always here." Naruto then grins at him and speaks, "Don't worry, Sasuke! I'll always be with you!"
With this, Minato goes back to the car and tries to calm himself. Something is wrong with that teenager and so he has to go and claim his son back. He then goes out and pretends that he just arrived… only to catch the teenager already stroking at his son's face with a very meaningful smile. He walks up to them and the clears his throat, "Hiya, Naruto. I'm so sorry for being late." Naruto then looks at him and Sasuke quickly pulls back his hand as the child smiles, "It's fine, Daddy. Daddy, this is Sasuke, he's my friend!" Minato, however, glares at the raven-haired teenager but Sasuke just gives a final stroke at Naruto's face, "I don't think he likes me. I think we'll just talk another time, Naruto."
The raven leaves and then Naruto yells for him to look back and smile, "Then see you soon, Sasuke!" The father then gently motions his son to turn back and he leads him to the car. Naruto goes in as his father opens the door for the passenger seat and closes it before hovering to the driver's seat. He gets in and starts the engine as he asks the child who is looking out if he can still see the teen, "How long have you been… friends?" Naruto jerks and then he smiles really big, "Uhh… one year, Daddy. I get to see him when I was going here. He also walks me to the school when Mommy drops me off here. He's also kind, heheh. He also gave me candies a while ago!"
"I… I see. But you know, Naruto. There are lots of people out there that… that wanted to harm you." Minato's voice starts to trail off as he starts driving home. Naruto looks at him and then he smiles, "I know, Daddy. Sasuke said he would protect me!" He accidentally hits on the break and, luckily, Naruto has his seatbelt on so he didn't get thrown to the dashboard. Minato then starts to panic and starts driving again and then Naruto huffs, "Daddy! What are you doing?" His normal reaction of just smiling at him has not been triggered… his mind is too occupied in thinking about that raven teen. His eyes have looked pretty malicious to a father's perspective and those eyes can only spell one word. Danger.
"Naruto, will you stop meeting with that guy? I'll just drive you to school and pick you up at school. No buts."
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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Messed up. If only these two words are to be said to describe Minato's day, that will be a complete understatement. Naruto completely hated him for what he said back there in the car… and now, no one really wanted to eat dinner. His wife just got home from the laboratory and she was surprised that the food wasn't even touched by the eating monsters. Minato is lying at their bed with his formal attire on and is too tired to go and change. His wife walks in the room and twitches upon seeing his miserable state, "Did something happen, Minato? Naruto locked himself up in his room and your tummy dragons seem to be still full."
Instead of smiling at her, Minato reacts as if he ignores her… giving no reaction at all. She then begins stripping her working uniform after shrugging her shoulders. Minato then notices something is weird and sniffs in his place to smell his wife's perfume. He opens his eyes and finds her before her drawer… now only in a thin white undergarment and panties. She then sees him staring and asks in annoyance, "Don't look at me like I'm not doing this every night." He then shakes his head and lands back to the bed, "Sorry, Kushina."
"What happened, really?" She finishes brushing her hair and climbs up the bed… crawling above her husband who is just laying flat at the bed, "Did you leave Naruto waiting for hours earlier?" Minato feels her movements and then opens his eyes to see her and smile, "I… uhh, can we just talk about it tomorrow?" Kushina shrugs her shoulder again and says as she starts pulling off Minato's necktie, "We sure could but I don't think our mornings have enough time for that."
"Okay. Naruto has this… highschooler friend that I don't really like." He just sighs and then Kushina lifts herself up to unbutton his shirt, "So you punched the guy in his face?" Minato chuckles at the comment and then he speaks, "No. I told Naruto to stop meeting with that guy. I saw him molesting Naruto without the kid knowing that it's already molestation." Kushina twitches and then she lets Minato take off his shirt on his own after she finishes unbuttoning it, "What was he doing? Was he feeling Naruto's dick?"
"No… he was uhh… stroking at his face with, uhh, a malicious smile. And uhh…" Minato starts to stutter as Kushina tries to take his belt off and nearly breaks it if he hasn't helped her. "You're just imagining things, Minato. Touching someone's face is not molestation, come on." Minato then starts to forget that his wife is stripping him as he starts… whining, "But! He's already a teenager! Maybe 17 or 18… and Naruto is just 7! Come on, Kushina. That's… just so wrong." Kushina starts pulling down his pants, "Okay, okay. I understand. I'll try to investigate about it then. What's the guy's name?"
"Naruto just calls him Sasuke. I also think he didn't even know that Sasuke's full name." Minato sighs as he kicks away his pants and Kushina practically lays down above him, "Look, Minato. We have to talk to Naruto tomorrow. He's not really good at taking things 'not-so' seriously." Minato starts stroking at her hair as she tries to position her arms in a way it won't hurt Minato. "I don't know… Naruto's very happy when they were talking. It's… he even look happier than being with us."
"Ooooh. My little boy is having a crush!" Kushina laughs out and Minato practically yells in hysteria, "Wha? What? Crush! There's no way he can have a crush with another GUY! I'm not approving this!" She then hits his face with her hand and she hisses, "Calm down, homophobe. I just said crush… I didn't say love. Maybe Naruto just found an older brother with that guy." Minato calms down and then he places his hands under his head, "I just hope things are really like that." Kushina sighs as she slicks her hair back, "You're too panicky, Minato. Act cool to suit your swagger."
Minato smiles at his wife who is already pouting… and her position just gives him a nice view of her cleavage with her tits threatening to show. With some more seconds of staring, a sudden surge of grave pain attacks his temples, making him jerk in pain. Kushina gets shaken by his stirring and she attends to him, "Minato? What's wrong?" The blond squeezes his head some more and starts groaning in pain. Kushina gets up to get some painkillers and then Minato start wriggling in the bed… yelling in the undue and massive headache he is suffering from.
It's starting.
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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With a groan and weak call for his wife, Minato wakes up that morning. He still suffers with his stupid headache and his wife is resting beside him… looking so vulnerable and yummy. He doesn't really have this notion of touching his wife's for-the-husband-only parts everyday (despite her beautiful body that makes most male co-workers swoon) but they seem to be oh-so-well uncontrolled right then. His hormones are starting to work again and he is still lost about it as well. Finding nothing wrong about wanting his wife once in a while, his hand crawls from his side to hers… then slowly crawling to her breast to massage it a bit.
"H… Huh?" Kushina wakes up from the seductive contact and then practically screams when she saw her husband, "Minato! What happened to your face!" He stops doing his thing and stares at her horrified face as she cups his with her hands, "You look sick and pale? Can something really happen overnight?" Minato is about to talk when he feels something funny inside his mouth. He gets up as well as Kushina does and he tastes blood in his mouth. He then gets off the bed while holding his mouth and walks to the bathroom in just his boxers. He faces the sink and spits out what has fallen out of place.
Teeth. Two almost identical teeth fall out of mouth as he tries to find what was bleeding. He then checks the mirror to see which teeth fall off… eventually seeing that they were the canine teeth (fourth ones from the center) from the upper row. Weird slits are just above them and there is something that is hidden inside his gums. Kushina arrives and inspects what he is doing… as he pushes a finger inside his mouth. To his surprise, a tooth is showing from the weird slit when he pushes it down… and they don't look like they are of a human at all.
"What's wrong, Minato?" Kushina goes to his side and then her eyes shift down to those teeth at the sink, "Huh? You're too old for baby teeth, right?" Minato then spits some blood out of his mouth again and he turns on the faucet, "I don't know what's going on." The blond attempts to hide the gaps in his supposed to be perfect smile but Kushina just scratches his head and goes to the curtained area for the toilet, "I'll help you later. I need to take my mother's call first." He just smiles a small one and he walks back to the master bedroom.
"Daddy." Naruto calls him as he passes by and then he goes back to answer his call, "What's wrong, Naruto?" The younger blond is just looking at him from just a crack of his door and he shifts his eyes at the side, "Can't… Can't I still… meet with Sasuke along the way to school?" Minato is about to speak by then he holds his forehead as he thinks. Naruto looks like he's going to vanish if ever his father says 'no' again to the matter. Kushina comes around and then Naruto asks again, "Daddy, can't I still meet with Sasuke along the way to school?"
"How about you just take him to our house later, Naruto? I would love to meet this Sasuke guy." She smiles as she untangles some parts of her hair. "I can call under-time for today so I can get back by 5." Minato shifts his eyes to Kushina and then Naruto whispers, "Daddy would not want that." Minato then looks back at Naruto and then he sighs, "Okay. You can meet with Sasuke today if he is there but I have to still walk you to your school." Naruto suddenly jerks in surprise and flings his door wide open to jump at his father, "Thanks, Daddy! I really love you!" Minato carries Naruto up and then he chuckles, "I know you do, Naruto."
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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"Sasuke!" Naruto then races towards Sasuke as he saw him sitting at the bench at the playground. Sasuke smiles and carries Naruto up, "Hi, Naruto. You look so happy. Did something happen?" Naruto grins so big as he pulls back from hugging Sasuke, "Mommy said you can drop by the house later!" The raven looks surprise and his eyes fling to the father who is rightfully watching them, "I see. Don't worry, I'll be here when you are about to go home." Minato clears his throat and Sasuke starts walking towards the school with Naruto in his arms. The father still has this bad hunch about Sasuke… there is something that is weird and dangerous seeping out from the man.
Naruto gives a goodbye hug and wave to Sasuke and a kiss as for Minato before running inside the primary school. Sasuke crosses his arms before his chest, "It is quite surprising that Naruto isn't ashamed of kissing his father before going to school… in public." Minato looks at him and then he walks back to the playground's parking lot, "Why? Never done it?" Sasuke starts following him since he has his motorbike parked there as well, "It was my mother who took me to school back then. It's okay it's a mother." Minato then stops walking as if waiting for Sasuke to catch up with him… the raven well aware of it. The blond then speaks, "What do you want from my son?"
"Naruto is my friend. What do you think I want from him?" The raven smirks and then he earns a glare from Minato, "It's not like I want it. I'm too young to be doing weird, strange stuffs old people do." Minato then grabs Sasuke's uniform collar and he pulls him closer violently, "If you do something bad to Naruto, keep these four words in your mind. I will kill you." Sasuke tries to take off the blond's arms, "I get it. I get it. Don't tug me around like I'm a piece of shit." Minato glares harder and then he let goes as he tries to calm himself down. Sasuke fixes his uniform's collar that got disorganized and he says as he watches Minato go away, "You better handle your temper good. It'll be really bad to be out of control."
Minato just ignored him and goes on his way to the parking lot. He drives to his office and goes in his office like every other day before that one. However, Tsume can't help but to notice that his speech quite sounded strange that day. During the vacant time, she goes to Minato's office with a coffee in hand… only to find his office closed off from any sunlight. She raises a brow and places it at the table, "What's wrong, Minato? Sun destroying your tan?" Minato is resting with his hand at his face and he just waves for her to go out, "Cancel all my meeting for today. And go out, I don't want to see anyone right now." Tsume raises her brow again and walks nearer to check up on him, "Are you really alright? You're getting pale and… are you sick, Minato? Think you should go home for today?"
"I better do. I'm not really feeling good." Minato goes and walks out of his office with Tsume really wondering about things. She follows the staggering Minato while earning gazes from his staff. Tsume then goes with Minato as he gets on the elevator and then she asks, "Are you really feeling that bad? Maybe you're just drunk." Minato shakes his head as he still try to hide his face from her, "Just leave me alone for now, Tsume. Please…" Minato takes a simple gaze at Tsume and he strangely notices the widow's curves all of a sudden. An urge to touch her sound louder within his head and it feels like blood is getting pumped harder within his veins. But he can still control it… but not that strong surge of hunger in his stomach.
"Tsume, can you go with me at the grocery and inn?" Minato chuckles as he continues on feeling utterly weak yet somewhat and unduly aroused. Tsume nods and then she helps him get to his car to get to their strange destination. Tsume drives to the grocery to buy fresh pork blood and raw pork meat and to an inn with Minato. The blond then tells her to keep out of the room for a while… and after an hour, Minato allowed her to go in. She then complaining, "What the fuck is going on, Minato? What are those for?" But there is something weird when her eyes finally lands on Minato, "…Minato?"
"Sorry, Tsume." Minato smiles and then slouches down the bed, "I better head back home now." Tsume looks differently at him… a little bit of something is too weird. The blonde god is looking much more gorgeous than before and the brunette starts to get a little hypnotize with his charms. She then gets a hold on her collar that starts to choke her and pulls it down a bit, "You… look a lot more different… than before." The blond twitches and then straightens a bit as he stares at his hands, "Something does feel wrong and I'm starting to get… you know, feeling like a teenager again."
"… This is very wrong." She closes her eyes and sits next to Minato at the bed, "I can't be staring at you like a stupid fangirl." Minato then looks at her as she nearly crumples her face with her hands, "What the fuck is happening!" She then sweeps her hair off her nape and tries to hit her face with her hand, "Geez, this is a very weird dream." The blond stares at her neck for a while… the same sudden surge he felt when he woke up next to Kushina. He silently scoots closer nearer her and his hand holds her furthest shoulder… as he smothers himself at her neck. "Wait, Minato, you have a wife…" He pulls her closer and his tongue starts sliding at her neck… but he seems to snap out of things when his tongue got caught at his own teeth.
His canines are back… but no, those are different teeth. He pulls back a little and uses his tongue to feel his teeth… only to find his canines as if long and sharp… like fangs. Tsume then gets out of trance and pushes him hardly away, "Fuck off, Namikaze!" She practically throws him off the bed and the guy squirms at the horrible treatment. He sits up and uses the mirror at the drawer to check his discovery. The canine teeth are back… but they don't seem to be as long as they were a while ago. Tsume then hugs herself and shrugs at the thought, "That's fucking disgusting. You and me in bed? Makes me sick!"
"You should get back to the office. I need to get Naruto." Minato says as he starts fishing for his phone… when he saw the drawer clock tick 4:55 PM. Tsume gets up and then heads out, "Yeah sure… forget something like that happened. My body hair is freezing!" Minato then holds his forehead as he feels getting kissed with cold sweat. What was he trying to do? His phone then rings and he opens the message from Kushina. 'I left a message for Naruto at their school guard. No need to pick him up. Just head home. ^^' Minato does a facepalm, "You got'ta be kidding me."
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
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"Welcome home!" Kushina greets Minato by the door and he starts whining, "What the hell did you tell the guard? What did you ask Naruto to do?" The redhead hits his head and then she pouts, "I simply said that Sasuke should walk him home today. And if he never comes home before 7, we will sweep the whole world and he will never see that guy again." The blond gets speechless and then he whines some more, "What! You introduce torture to our son?" The redhead smiles and then she wraps her arms around the husband's neck, "One does not simply get whatever he likes. He needs to know discipline and limitations."
"Yeah, but…" Minato tries to reason with her… but her sexy smile is making him shut up for more than necessary. He then raises his hand to rest its back at her chest… the woman twitching loudly at the action. He then whispers, "You think… they'll arrive in seconds?" He seductively slides his hand down, hooking her collar down with his finger. Kushina starts cocking her head to the side and Minato keeps on pulling it down until he reaches her bra's front clutch. Hesitation and temptation consumes his face but then Kushina walks away from him and goes upstairs, "You know, they might be really here any minute now." Minato gulps and follows her, "But you said before 7, right?"
"I did!" She laughs out as she goes inside their room and sits down the bed, "But doesn't mean they should go home by 7! Though most teenagers interpret it that way." She slicks her hair back and Minato goes to her side and sits down, "I just wish Naruto would." The redhead is about to retort about the weird thing but she gets tackled by Minato at the bed when she turns to him, "Ah! Hey, Minato!" The blond pins her down with his body and arms… his tongue already drawing lines at her chest, "I just don't know… but I feel like…" Kushina starts to giggle in ecstasy, it's been too long since he last wanted her like this.
Minato then motions to go and bite the edge of Kushina's shirt but she presses her hand against his mouth, "Wait a minute, raging wolf! You cannot bite my shirt!" She then pushes Minato as if telling him to get up and so did he. She takes off her shirt and unbuttons his, "You see, we don't really have to be acting like barbarians here. We have a guest to see later." Minato grins a little and licks his lip from the little idea… Kushina doesn't have any reasons why she should refuse anyway. She knows it is ultimately rare for him to be begging for sex like this. They strip down to their underwear and they begin making out at the bed like how married people should do and how only married couples are allowed to do.
Kushina is holding on to his broad shoulders and Minato has his arms straddling her head, just like how her legs straddle his. He rocks his body against hers and instead of moaning, all she did is to laugh out. Her hands begin to crawl around his back and her legs are starting to wrap around his waist, "Ahh, uhh, Mi— Minato! Ahahahaha! What got into you!" The blond hasn't bothered to answer and then he begins forcing his tongue inside her mouth. She gladly lets him in and their tongues wrap around as the friction down there starts to build up a tent.
It is so sudden but things turn out to be very rewarding. The steamy atmosphere they are creating seems to be utterly ignored, both their minds are on nothing right now but sex. Excitement and pleasure rein the time being… pain still not joining their little fun. The feeling of teasing one another is getting nostalgic and the thought of giving one's self to somebody in complete surrender powers him up some more. His wife hasn't hidden anything from him… she even made him read out stupid love letters everyone is sending her. She is his perfect wife despite the fact that she's more work-centered than preferred. Maybe… she should know about it.
Minato then starts to calm down and his actions become mellower and sweeter. The redhead twitches at the sudden transition but she duly continues on kissing her very loved husband. The blond doesn't even notice his actions anymore… all he is thinking about it what happened two weeks ago. Kushina then holds his face and pulls back a little, trying to breathe from the kiss, "What's wrong, Minato?" The blond then twitches and shakes his head, "Just kiss me, Kushina." He leans over and starts kissing her torridly again… but this time, Kushina has her tongue trespassing in his mouth. It does somewhat taste better to her… her tongue feeling through his and around the edges of his teeth.
Ouw! Kushina twitches as she seems to get her tongue cut at one of Minato's teeth… there is something sharp and very pointed somewhere. And to think about it, where are the gaps of the teeth he lost earlier. His breath does smell like raw pork as well and his tongue has a funny taste. Kushina back off a little and then she sticks her tongue out, "I think I cut my tongue." Minato then eyes at her and then ignores her plea as he starts sucking at her neck. Kushina touches her tongue with her finger and feel stung by pain, "Ugh! Dammit. Hey, Minato—" She then twitches as two pointy objects threaten to dig deep her neck. And before she knows it… Minato suddenly bear red eyes and fangs! With little time to react, the only thing Kushina had done is stuff her arm at Minato's mouth for him to bite!
"Minato!"
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Blood has a Horrible Taste
End Chapter
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Rei: Thank you for reading and please review! ^o^
Naruto: You forgot to put Shotacon on your warnings, you witch!
Rei: I dare you to replace Shotacon with Genderbending!
Naruto: …Fuck you.
Sasuke: Just see you at the next chapter.
