Lone Wolf O'Neill and I came up with an idea of telling the back story about how some people got on the Enterprise. We all know how Kirk, Bones, Uhura, and Spock got picked for the crew but thought it might be fun to expand on Jack, Chekov, the kids, Sulu, and whoever else we add. This is our first attempt. Please read and let us know your thoughts.
JACK AND SAM O'NEILL
Samantha O'Neill sits nervously on the couch. She looks at the clock and knows Jack will be home anytime now. He called from the base saying he was back and just had to finish debriefing. He also told her to let the boys know he had a big surprise for them but the boys were not home. Sam had sent them two days earlier to her dad's place in San Francisco. Sam loves Jack more than he will ever know but she can't live like this. She can't lie and field the questions from the boys anymore: where is dad, why he can't come to school events, why doesn't he coach the little league team. Sam handles so much that Jack never knows about because their time is too short to spend fighting. Samantha O'Neill looks around the room at the pictures and knick knacks collected through their thirteen years of marriage. "Baby I'm home," Jack says dropping his bags at the door like always. Sam hears the fridge open and the pop of his beer. She feels like she is going to throw up but by sending the boys away she has already put this plan in motion. She can't lose her resolve now. "Sam I'm back," he calls walking into the living room.
Those simple words set her over the edge and bring the anger to the surface. It is the same routine. He comes home and they are all so happy to see him they forget about everything he has missed. "For how long this time," Sam says and Jack immediately knows something is wrong by her tone. "You missed Ronin's game again. Said you weren't this time. I think you promised you would be there but don't worry I covered again." She says snidely.
Recently Jack's homecomings have been getting more tension filled. He has been patient but this last mission was a bitch. "For crying out loud Sam, I just got in and you're already starting with that again." If she only knew what he had been doing but he keeps the job to himself. For a second he just wants to tell her that he has spent the past two weeks trying to help the people of Gharandi X over throw the latest asshole of the universe. An asshole that had boys as young as his carrying guns instead of baseball gloves but those are his headaches not hers.
"No I am not starting on that again. Frankly I really don't care at this point. You've picked your priorities. Your job is your priority now but I remember at one time it was us." Sam O'Neill's words cut through Jack like a knife.
Rarely does he ever get mad at Sam but for some reason she is trying to push his buttons tonight and he is not in the mood to let it slide. It takes all his self control not to tell her that his last twenty four hours involved watching twenty kids be systematically murdered by video because he could not get there fast enough to save them. Watching what happened to those kids only strengthened his resolve to keep his family safe. "It still is. There are bad people out there that need taken care off. Taking care of bad people is what I do best and that's why I do it: to keep you and the boys safe." Jack's voice is as close to yelling as he gets with his wife.
"Then let someone else handle it. We are not being threatened by a dictator 25 light years from Earth." Sam yells back. "We don't have that issue here." She gestures around the interior of their quiet lakeside home.
"Nero and Khan, remember them..." Jack says smugly.
This fighting without a point is going to go nowhere. She takes a deep breath and realizes just how strong her conviction is on this issue. She has rehearsed this line numerous times and it always ended in tears but not tonight. "I have talked to my dad. He thinks I should bring the boys home for a while so I can have some time to think about what I want. Jack I am not happy. I need time to think about us. I need some time apart from you"
Jack likes his father-in-law he really does but Sam does not often see how Admiral Jacob Carter can still get into her head. It is one of the reasons they moved here. They needed some physical distance between him and their marriage. His father-in-law is a good man but Jack has noticed that over the past three years Sam is talking to her dad more about their personal life than she does him. His temper sky rockets at the thought of Jacob telling Sam it was a good idea to take his boys. They are not Jacob's kids. "Oh hell no," he says instantly anger and not hiding it well. If he lets this happen once who knows what Jacob might try next. It is then Jack realizes that the boys are already gone. There is no noise in the house but the drippy faucet he promised to fix two missions ago. Plus Sam would never start a fight like this if they were in the house. "When were you going to tell me you took the boys away or were you? Did you think I wouldn't notice they weren't home?" Jack is shocked that she did this. He called her only yesterday saying he would be home tonight.
"Jack you have to be home not to notice," Sam says sarcastically. "Part of me wondered how long it would take you to notice the whole house was empty." Sam is still shocked that she feels nothing right now. Is she really that sure this is what she wants. She is toeing a line that could change their family forever. The more she thinks about it she crossed the line the minute she sent the boys away.
Jack looks around the room and notices a suitcase by the door where he dropped his bags. He raises his eyebrows in disbelief, "What! You're leaving me! Is that why the bag is at the door?" His tone is one of disbelief and anger. How can she possibly be doing this? They are happy. He makes sure they have everything they need from money to a home to stability.
"Time apart is not leaving. It's thinking," she says and means it. Sam doesn't know what will happen when she walks out the door but she does know that she isn't ready for a full divorce right now. Sam does need the time to think about how she and the boys will manage without him.
Her calm demeanor makes Jack realize how serious this situation is. When she has gotten mad she typically yells, and if it is really bad cries, but then it is over. Jack is starting to think this might not be a typical fight. "I notice. It just takes me time to decompress when I get back. I help around the house when I'm here. I spend time with the boys and you. What more do you want form me?" Jack sees his words not making a dent and he struggles to keep his anger in check. "And don't be naive Sam, thinking leads to leaving. It happened to Kawalski." Jack paces the room. He stops in front of her and locks his eyes on hers. "I won't let it happen to us."
"You can't stop it and maybe it is for the best," she says stonily. Jack is a great husband and father but sometimes he does not realize they are his family and not his Section 31 Black Ops team. She does not have to follow his orders. "I can't live like this. I want out."
Her words slam him like a physical blow. His anger and tension from the mission temper his words with more fire than he intends. "What do you mean you can't live like this? In a lake house? Boys in their private religious school you and your dad wanted? I never say a word about what you do or where you go or what you spend so tell me what part can't you suddenly live with." Jack's words cut her back. At this point they are just trying to hurt each other. "You understood what I did when we got married but now thirteen years later it just doesn't work for you? How much more do you want?"
"I was thinking a lot about this and," Sam says quietly, "I want more of,"
"You always over think things," Jack says finishing his beer. He knows he is being an asshole but she is also being a bitch. "More of what? Me fidgeting and going bonkers from not doing anything."
"I want normalcy," she cries out angrily. "I want family dinners, little league games I don't go to alone, maybe more kids. I want more."
"Normal is underrated," he says realizing this is actually escalating into something they have never dealt with before in his marriage. I mean she has a packed and is ready to walk out. Suddenly he processes her last sentence. "Did you say you want more kids?"
"At one time you enjoyed not doing anything with me," she snaps. "Did I make you bonkers when we went to hockey games or watched football or fished? Did I make you bonkers then?"
Jack's tone softens. "I didn't mean you. I just meant that inactivity makes me nervous and back to the baby part? When did we decide we needed more kids?" He tries to remember any conversation about extra O'Neill's and comes up dry. Jack is sure that he would have remembered a conversation like that. "I would like more kids," he tries to appease his irate wife. He doesn't particularly want more at 38 especially because his wife is sitting across the room telling him he can't handle what he's got already.
Sam rolls he eyes. "Whatever you have to be home to have them Jack and you don't say what you don't mean either. Yes I might want more kids but everything is a unilateral decision with you when it is major. You want a lake house so you can fish. You want a job with adventure. You want the perfect boys. I just always go along with it." Sam feels guilty about this last statement. It makes it sound like Jack runs the house and her and they boys have no say in matters. This is the farthest thing from the truth. In fact Jack typically goes with whatever she wants just to make her happy.
"English please. I'm just a ground pounder," Jack says snidely.
"You have the perfect life. You have two boys, a dog, a chance to play hero, and a family that forgives you every time you have to break a promise. It is not so sexy to have a hero husband when I have two boys at home that are old enough to see how missions affect you." Sam explains. "There are times I wish you'd spend your down time at the base instead of coming home."
Jack can't believe that she would even suggest he stay away longer than he has to. "It is not that bad. I leave my missions at base."
Sam realizes he just doesn't understand how much they need his home and a daily part of their family. "I have booked another shuttle for tomorrow morning. The boys will be upset enough when I tell them about this so I took then to San Fran yesterday."
"A little notice would have been nice with YOUR unilateral decision sweetheart. I mean what the hell, I had tickets to a hockey game," Jack says pulling the four tickets from his right front pocket and throwing them in the center of the room.
"Then take a buddy," she yells back hotly.
"They weren't cheap," he shoots back. They both know this argument is exploding and can't be contained. They both are guilty of just trying to one up each other right now.
"Glad you got the good seats," Sam screams and walks past him into the kitchen to get some distance.
Jack takes his cap off and slaps in against his legs in frustration. He hears clinking dishes and follows her. Sam waits for him to enter the kitchen before she leaves the room. "Stop walking away from me!" He says following her back out of the kitchen and into the living room. Jack needs a solution to this situation now. "What would you have me do? Train newbie's? Teach at the Academy?" Jack continues to follow her through the living room and out onto the back deck.
"You don't see it. I am done. I may have made a commitment in front of God but he would not want me and the boys to live like this. Wondering each mission if you are coming home? They boys know what you do now. It is not a secret and they are not babies anymore. I can't make them promises that might not be true."
Jack puts his hands on his hips and looks out over the lake behind her shocked at her statement. Jack could take organized religion or leave it. He has a belief in God but didn't need the whole church thing like Sam's family did. Jack was both annoyed and shocked that Sam had told her dad she was leaving him before she told him. That had to been a hard conversation for her. The Carter's did not divorce. "Sam, honey what did your dad say?"
"He told me to come home," she says with tears spilling from her eyes. "Distance would clear our heads." She wipes away the tears with her finger tips and tries to hide that she is crying by finger combing her hair with both hands. "I never want to change you. You will not be happy if I force you to change but we are not happy now. This has been a while in the making Jack. It is not a snap judgment. I will be fair. No custody stuff. When you are in town and thinking straight they are yours." Sam says her peace and walks into the house. The slamming of the screen door behind her snaps Jacks out of his daze.
"You can't….I mean you and boys are my world," Jack says through the screen. He opens the door searches for her in the house. He finds her in the living room by the fireplace looking at the family pictures. "Please don't leave," he says quietly entering the room. He shoves his hands in his pockets and nervously rocks back on his heels. "Let's sit and talk about this instead of me chasing you around the house. My knees hurt. " Sam looks over at him and he gives her the half smile that has always made her feel like the most important woman in the world. Jack tries humor to de-escalate the situation.
Sam busts out sobbing and leans on the fireplace mantle. She does not want to loose him but this fight cannot end like it always does with her crying, Jack promising to change, and then repeat in a month. Jack slowly walks across the room and holds her from behind. Jack knows there is still a chance because she is not breaking free from his grasp. He kisses the back of her head and rests his chin on her head. "Am I really that bad? Do I bring my missions home that much," he whispers.
"The things you have to do….do you really think it all stays at the base when you debrief," she says through muffled sobs as she tries to stop crying. "The person who have to be to do your job is not who you are. I know that, but no one can kill or do whatever else you do and not have it affect them over time."
"I am so sorry baby," he says into her hair, "and I don't' want a divorce. Please let's sit and talk." Jack turns her around in his arms and she lays her head on his chest. She wants to make-up but this situation has to change. "My CO warned me about this. I just thought he was bull shitting us but maybe I do sometimes bring it home. How come you didn't say anything before this?"
Sam shrugs like a little girl in his arms. "This has been coming for a year but five day clips with you and 14-21 days apart….not much time to get the point across. At first I thought it was just that one mission but it happened again and then again, and then again. Whatever happened last time you were gone took you half your down time to come off of. You were so angry and snapped at every comment or perceived out of step behavior from the boys." Sam looks into his eyes. "They told me they were glad you had left a week later. They said it was the first time they were scared to talk or be around you because you just kept freaking out."
"They said they were scared of me? "Are you?" Jack searches her eyes for the truth and not just lip service to end this fight.
"I am an adult. I know the difference in you when it is just a recon vs. killing mission but they can't make that distinction. I know when to avoid you and when to push a point. Even if they are bad people they are still people? It shows on you clear as day when it's a cleaning house mission." Sam pulls away and sits on the couch running her hands through her hair again.
"I'd never hurt you or the boys. I die first," he stammers.
"I know that but I need the guy who consistently eats cake, likes peridot green and barbecues with beer," she smiles. How can she leave him?
Jack walks over to the couch and sits down next to her. Not too close but close enough so that she knows he loves her. Jack is not sure how much space she needs from him right now. Silence fills the room and he doesn't want to stop her from talking to him. She has had a lot of time to think and Jack doesn't know how to emotionally share like his wife. That was always her department in their marriage. "This is good. Umm…. this talking thing….so not me but," Jack stumbles for words not knowing what to say.
"I don't know how to fix this. Fix us," she confesses giving Jack a direction. Sam knows he is trying to not succeeding in expressing himself. An in a way she knows he doesn't see a problem at all. In their marriage she talks, shares, and thinks. Jack. Jack just solves problems. He hears what's wrong, makes a plan, and comes up with a solution. Quick. Simple. Done.
"I do that well," he says getting a small smile from her. Jack knows the problem and needs his solution but tries to add the emotional girl thing she wants form him. "I miss those days too when he had nothing but each other and lazy weekends." Jack can tell from her words and body language this fight is for real and not going to be smoothed over with words and flowers. In their normal but rare fights she would be curled up next to him and things would be settling down by now but she has not budged for her side of the couch.
"How long are you back for this time," Sam says flatly.
"5 days," he informs her and see her shakes her head disgustedly, "but I have some leave time. I" Jack knows the progress he has made so far is slowly crumbling away.
" Leave won't fix this Jack." Sam tries to stand up but Jack places a firm hand on her knee keeping her next to him. In his heart he knows if she gets up she is gone.
"I have about a month's worth. How long do you want me to put in for? I'll do whatever it takes," Jack pleads and means every word he is saying. He needs her to believe it also. "I love you more than you'll ever know. The boys too."
"I don't doubt you love me or them but we don't work anymore as a family." Sam's tone is so calm and controlled causing Jack to start to panic slightly.
"Tell me what you want me to do then." He rubs small circles in her back. Jack is close to shaking but hides it well.
"I want you to make that decision. What do you really want? What can you live with because I told you I can't live like this." Sam's voice carries the same intonation she uses when asking him if he wants corn or green beans for dinner. She is not pleading or crying but just making an emotionless statement. Jack slides off the couch and moves between her knees staring at her eye level. "I am going. I have to." Her voice shakes not wanting this.
"I'll put in for indefinite leave. Us… this family is my priority. I'm going to prove it to you if I have to follow you to San Francisco." Jack begins to think about his new life as a combat instructor at the Academy. With his experience they will definitely take him but it may take six months to get the paperwork in place. He will hate it but he will do it.
"It won't solve anything. We tried that when the boys were younger. You were miserable there under my dad. That is why we moved here. Moving there, with us like this, will cause more problems than solve them." Sam knows this for a fact.
"Sam, listen to me please." He takes her hands into his. "I agree I can't work under your father again so maybe I find a new security post on maybe a base or say," Jack gets an idea. A crazy idea but a brilliant one. "I don't believe I'm saying this but what about a ship?"
"What do you mean a ship?" Sam has no idea where he is going with this line of thought.
"A ship…. ya know the kind that goes in space with those big honking phasers?" Jack gestures wildly with his arms. He looks at Sam and sees she is staring at him stunned. "With space surrounding it. We can write a new chapter. "The O'Neill's can be peaceful explorers."
"You don't do peaceful." Jack is great at his job and loves it. He loves to help the people that no one else will. He likes the guns and smoke and chaos. Sam tries to push him back so she can get up. This idea is too crazy to even entertain.
"No," he says not moving and blocking her from leaving. "You are going to sit and we are going to fix this. You can't spring on me that you are divorcing me, taking the boys, and not hear me out." Jack says gently but firmly. "I can do peaceful if it means you don't leave and take the kids." He rubs her thighs and knees.
"What about the boys?" Sam has got to talk him out of this. She is not going to go to space on a ship. "We are a family and not newlyweds."
"We take them with us. They allow kids on ships now, at least the big ones like the Enterprise," Jack can't figure out why Sam is acting so weird. He is giving her everything he thinks she wants.
"ENTERPRISE," she laughs uncomfortably falling back into the cushions of the couch. Jack has to be nuts. That ship is a magnet for disaster.
"Yes, the flag ship of the Federation," Jack says in a voice like he is doing a recruitment commercial for Star Fleet. "Captain Kirk and that green blooded no humor Vulcan Spock's ship."
"I don't think I can do that. I won't leave my job or uproot the boys like that." Sam says staring at the ceiling. She does not know what she wants but this is not it.
Jack feels his temper rising but keeps his tone normal. She is being unreasonable and he needs her to see that. "I'd leave mine...and I love it too much apparently."
"My friends? My father? The boy's school?" Her husband is offering to give her the universe but she does not want it. Sam has boxed herself in to a corner and can't get out. "My father won't like it. When will I see him and he see the boys?" Sam is looking for any excuse to end this conversation.
"Your father is not in our marriage. Honey, I love you. I don't want to lose this," he plays with his wedding ring. "I'll do whatever you want but you have to tell me what that is? I'll train troops, teach, I don't care as long as I have you."
"But my dad and brother are my only family," Sam says weakly. Her head is spinning and she doesn't even comprehend that she is putting her dad in front of her husband.
"We are your family," he corrects her a little more sternly than he intends.
"Of course you are but," Sam backpedals.
"No buts. Our family is me, you and the boys. Your dad is important yes, but our family should take priority over your dad's needs. I've neglected you and I'm sorry but if this," Jack kisses her finger with her wedding ring on it, "is going to work we need a new beginning."
Sam stares at him in disbelief. How did they go from divorce to space explorers. "You would really be happy in a ship making duty rosters? The only action would be hauling the enlisted out of jail on shore leave." Sam can see Jack does not believe her weak excuses. She decides to tell the truth. "I'm scared. I don't know if I can handle that much change. Aren't they scheduled for a five year mission?"
Jack projects confidence in this new family decision. "The Enterprise yes but that doesn't mean we'd have to get that ship. There are other ships." Jack can see how nervous Sam is but if things were really that bad the she wanted a divorce they needed a huge change. "You are scared not because you don't know what is out there but are scared to try to give this another chance." Jack is a direct person by nature and calls his wife's hand. He will never be this clueless about his family's needs again. Jack plays the only card he has left in his hand. "You owe me a chance to fix this. Please give me a chance. I won't disappoint you."
Sam loves him more than anything and knows he is right. This was not what she intended to happen tonight but God does do things for a reason. "Might be tough to divorce on a five year mission if this doesn't work out. Waiting for the paperwork to go through might take longer than the mission." She knows it is a bad joke but is warming up to idea of such a massive change.
"I'm game...and there'd be more than enough time to work things over. Five years," he says sitting next to her on the couch and taking her left hand into his. "Think of what fun we could have," he winks and smiles mischievously.
Sam looks at him like he has a screw loose. "We would be going from 3600 square feet to a two room apartment with only a living room separating us." She tries the last thing she knows that may break the deal. "We'd have only one telepresentor. No hockey or fishing."
"You say all the time this place is too big and that you want us closer," he shoots back playfully seeing her getting on board with this idea. "We'd have to hit an ice planet out there and they give us shore leave."
"Well baby #3 is out. I am not that quiet," she says and he leans over to kiss her. She wants to be with him. She wants to fix this.
He breaks the kiss off and smiles at her. "Come on baby being a coronel has its perks. I'll request thicker noise insulation while it is being retrofitted. No one will hear anything." Jack begins to kiss her neck slowly, softly, making her feel dizzy. "Baby three is so possible," he whispers into her neck bring out goose bumps on her arms.
"We really need to think this through," she says having difficulty forming words as he slides back between her legs and begins biting the buttons open on her blouse. "Let's talk about this with my dad," she murmurs absently not really thinking straight.
"Okay as long as you don't think he will stun me like he did that time he found us in his hover car," Jack has her shirt open and begins to kiss the top of her breast. Sam is getting what she wants and is scared. Jack can feel her shakes and knows it's not all because of the current physical contact between them. "I love you honey. It's whatever you want. Dirt side or space. I don't care."
"Are we making compounding mistakes," she asks lifting his head to look at her face.
"We are never a mistake Samantha O'Neill," Jack says firmly using her full name. It makes her shudder and completely turns her on when he does take on the masculine role in situations like this. Sam is a strong, intelligent woman but sometimes she just wants to be taken care of.
"I love you," she whispers. Jack stands up and lifts her into his arms bridal style. He kisses her and carries her upstairs.
