Alex shot up, hearing glass breaking and a distinct squeal coming from downstairs. He pushed the comforter away and headed towards the stairs, trying to make sense of the situation (at six in the morning, which was difficult after a 48 hour shift). Meredith was—the last time she talked to him she'd mentioned something wrong with her lamp—at the hospital! Meredith was at the hospital. Shepherd was at some chief convention in New York and wouldn't be back until later tonight. He rubbed the sleep off his eyes. He should take a look at that lamp later.

"Lexie?" he called out, seeing the (newly minted) blond staring at the kitchen floor. There was food on the floor, along with a broken plate.

"I tried to make breakfast," she whined. Usually Meredith or Derek (in true parent form, in this strange sort-of-family relationship) would put on coffee and make some toast. Izzie cooked—Alex promptly shook off the memory. Whatever, he knew he shouldn't have given that last box of cereal to Cristina.

"What is that smell?" he asked, entering the kitchen. He picked up the broken shards, placing them in a plastic bag.

"I tried to make an omelette?" she pointed at the weird looking mess on the stove. "Callie makes this omelette, you know, when I still lived with—"she paused, and her eyes got big and sad. Alex knew that look all too well.

"I'll make us breakfast," he smiled at her, touching her arm. She sniffled a bit (crisis averted, thank god, her crying fit lasted two hours the last time) and helped put the mess away. It was then she noticed that Alex was wearing nothing but boxers. He was reaching for the oatmeal jar on the shelf. Disjointed (and dirty) thoughts started forming in her mind.

Ass. Plate. Alex.

She walked over and put her arms around him while his back was still turned. "You know, I'm not that hungry," she whispered seductively, "for food, that is."

He smirked, turning around and looping his arms around her tiny waist. She was still wearing his old University of Iowa shirt and damn, he doesn't know how she can look so sexy in something so old and tattered. He pulled her closer and kissed her slowly, his hands roaming her back. She jumped and put her legs around him, furthering the kiss, as he carried them back to his room.

--

Lexie hid under his covers (which smelled faintly of him, and faintly of her) after Derek, her post-it brother-in-law-in-half and recently appointed chief of surgery in the hospital she is currently working her ass off in, caught her behaving like a harlot. Surgeons don't behave like harlots. They behave like surgeons. Her grip on the pillows tightened when she realized that he was Mark's best friend too—great. Now Mark's going to think she's an even bigger slut.

(Whatever, it's not like he's the standard bearer for chastity and virtue.)

Meredith was wrong. She was so not falling for Alex. She tried going down that road before, only to be left for a psychotic Jane Doe Rebecca patient who wasn't even that pretty, in her opinion.

She got up after screaming into a pillow a couple of times. Might as well clock in early; she needed to make up for that mishap with Derek.

--

Don't think Alex doesn't know what Meredith and Cristina's been saying to Lexie. He's been working with them close to six years; he could probably understand them better than they give him credit for. Especially now that George's dead and Izzie's... it was lame but all they have left were each other. And he did graduate from medical school and he had gotten into the Seattle Grace program so there had to be some exceptional skill there.

Whoever said anyone was falling for anyone?

He knew he was her rebound from Mark and for him, she was totally hot. Especially with the blond hair. Plus, he wouldn't want her anyway. She doesn't cook, she talked a lot, she always chewed the end of his pencil when she answered the morning crossword. She was chirpy one minute and down the next. She was like Meredith three years ago.

That would be totally like, incest.

"Watch where you're going!" he almost hit a metal cart, and the nurse glared at him.

This time, he was. He won't let her Izzie him.

(but she wasn't Izzie, she was Lexie)

--

She liked not feeling with Alex.

She was fucked.

(in more ways than one)

--

"What is this?" she asked, seeing a folded newspaper with red circles all over it beside his bed. He knew he should have hidden that.

"It's nothing," he said, and began kissing her neck slowly, teasingly, so she lets it go.

"Apartment hunting?" she asked incredulously. "You're moving out?"

He answered with a blank stare. "Let it go, Lexie."

"We're moving out?" she got up, shaking her head. "No, no, no, you see, the last time I moved in with someone, he kind of broke my heart. And I thought we were into this no feelings thing," fucking liar, she was, "and we're good here, we don't have to pay rent—"

"It's kind of hard to argue with you when you're naked," he commented, smirking. She furrowed her brows and walked out the door. He would have gone after her, except make-up sex was totally hot and he wasn't going to miss out on that one. The truth was, Reed had cornered him one day and asked him if he knew any good apartments around the hospital. They spent an afternoon picking out places and laughing at Charlie's fuck ups.

On second thought, maybe he shouldn't tell her.

--

Meredith reacted the same way.

(They really were sisters.)

"Why are you moving out? Do you not like it here?" she asked, Lexie pouting angrily beside her. "Are you trying to take advantage of my sister again?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "I like it here. We're roommates with the chief of surgery and his wife! We won't ever get fired," Lexie explained.

"Lexie!"

"And I like living with my sister. Before this I lived with my alcoholic dad and that really sucked so I don't want to ruin this," she added.

"I am not moving out. Do you think I'm stupid?" Alex answered. "I was just helping Reed pick out apartments close to the hospital—"

"You're helping Reed?"

"You're talking to Reed?"

Alex stifled a chuckle. Hysterical women were funny, but hysterical Merediths (and mini Merediths) would probably cut him in his sleep. He was about to dispute them when Lexie gasped loudly, her eyes wide and glassy, pointing at him like he was a witch condemned to the stake.

"You're sleeping with her, aren't you?" she asked.

"Alex. I know Izzie leaving was hard, but did you have to go all Mark Sloan on the hospital?" Meredith said disapprovingly. Lexie was angrily swatting tears from her cheeks while desperately trying to hide her crimson face from Meredith. "And you," she pointed out, "you should have listened to me the first time. Heart. In. Your. Vagina."

"Mark slept with the whole hospital?" Lexie said, practically screaming. The tears suddenly stopped.

"What did you expect him to do?" Meredith asked.

"He's going all manwhore on the hospital and he gives me crap because I slept with one guy? One guy! That's practically a relationship—"

Alex's eyes widened. So did Meredith's. Lexie put her hand on her mouth, terrified to say more.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, you know how I get when I talk—"

"Listen," Alex said, silencing her. "I am not moving out. I am not sleeping with Reed. I helped her pick out apartments because she got me in on one of her surgeries with Hunt," he turned to Lexie, "Sloan's a whore. Get over it. And speaking of getting over," he then turned to Meredith, "I am over Izzie."

"And Lexie's heart doesn't live in her vagina."

--

He sent the divorce papers the week after that.

(It's not because he's trying to prove a point. Partly. It's because he'd heard Lexie talking to Megan one day and she'd mentioned that she felt bad sleeping with a married man, even though they weren't really married anymore)

--

It's not like they were in a relationship.

Sure he brings her chocolate pudding at lunch and she leans into him when they fall asleep after sex. She doesn't sleep with anyone else and neither does he, even after (she'd heard through the nurses) Reed tried to seduce him into an on-call room one particularly hectic night.

She put laxatives in Reed's coffee after that. It was juvenile but whatever, no one takes what's hers.

Crap. She just said he was hers.