Author's Note: EEEEEEEE! :D
Prelude:
I stepped into the elevator.
It descended for a real long time. No one had told me about the reverse climb down. They just walked up to me at the park bench in New York. Living alone and steadily running out of money, I thought this proposition would bring good things.
Everything appeared to be going all fine on the one-hour flight. I stared at the countryside slowly passing by, the clouds rolling on.
They transported me in a stretch limo, and I was feeling like a celebrity, at least for a little while when we pulled up to what appeared to be a mine entrance in the middle of nowhere.
The elevator came to a jostling stop. It creaked open. In front of me stood a quite out-of-place looking building. It looked as if it deserved to be placed in the center of futuristic-metropolitan New York, New York. A large majority of it was composed of glass, however, it was underground, being completely encompassed by solid, grey rock. The orange lettering and constant reminders to keep my hands off the glass were very welcoming.
Suddenly, I was startled by a thundering voice.
"Hello new test subjects! Oh, what?"
I could distinctly hear a female talking in the background.
"Excuse me, welcome test subject. Just a few more steps to go before you get your sixty bucks."
I heard a chair rolling around.
"Step into Aperture Science, the makers of the nineteen seventeen and twenty fifths century. After you complete signing the three year contract, you may call a Quantum Tunneling Device Dispenser Associate to obtain your very own," he took a very long and audible gasp, "Aperture Science Quantum Tunneling Device...once your Test Subject Position is up."
I walked through the sliding glass doors to find a female with her hair held up in a tight bun. She was in a tight white lab coat, the orange Aperture logo on top of her name, Laina Grant.
"Hello!" I greeted brightly.
"Mhmm," she responded, not even caring to look up at me while she fervently wrote notes. She looked up at me after a few seconds. When we made eye contact, I cocked my head in confusion. Were the tests starting already?
"Sorry, Laina," she stuck out her hand, and I accepted the offer.
"No worries. So when do I get my Qua-"
"Woah, woah, woah, you've still got to sign the contract honey. Follow me."
She led me down a short hallway, through another set of sliding auto doors and to a desk in the middle of a sea of desks. The top was concealed by her torso.
"Stick out your hands," she said. I raised an eyebrow, following.
She turned around a dropped a stack of papers as thick, maybe thicker, into my hands. I stumbled forward slightly from the sheer weight. I looked back from the the "contract" to Laina. She pulled a tight smile.
"I know." She brought her clipboard down. "Here have a seat."
I sat down in front of her desk.
"Yeah, I have to watch you sign every page, so we both get equal shares of torture."
"Heh." I let a short laugh.
Thirty minutes after, both of us struggling to stay awake, she straightens her posture saying, "You know what, I've never done this before, and I'm only doing this because I really don't feel like doing this three times a day. I'll just waive this contract."
"Cool." I looked up at her. "Thanks."
"No worries." She typed a few commands into her computer.
After five more minutes of staring up at the clock, the computer screen, Laina, and other Associates, she said, "Okay, so your Test Subject Position is 351849. With the steady stream of Test Subjects coming in from the Testing Spheres, you should go in maybe 50 years from now."
"What? Ugh."
"You do have three options. You can just wander around this place for all that time, go into Suspension, or just opt out, but just saying," she leaned in closer, "I wouldn't opt out 'cause the CIA, FBI, and NSA will be all over you. You won't be able to shower without being bugged."
I sighed. "Well might as well go for Suspension then?"
"Okay."
This "suspension" sounded like something my school would do.
"Before, yo-"
"Done," she interrupted. "Sorry."
I laughed a little. "It's fine. But what's Suspension?"
"Oh we give you a nice room, complete with closet, desk, queen bed, TV, fridge, decorated pretty fine. Then we put you in stasis."
"What's stasis?"
"It's just a point where we sustain you. You don't age. It's almost like a coma, but I'm not allowed to explain how we do it."
Two men in all black walked up behind me.
"Good night Michael."
"Wh-"
They lifted me by my arms. Laina came forward with needle.
"What are you doing?!"
I was thrashing around, the Associates around me paying no attention.
Fifty years. I would be at least seventy by then.
The last thing I remember was being flung over one guy's shoulder and fading to black.
The next time I woke up, I was staring up at an off-white and slightly yellowed ceiling. I took a blink and it instantly aged at least a hundred more years with cracks and crevices all over the place. The island-themed wallpaper was peeling. The TV displayed an island scene with a new logo and words spread out. I took a look around. Looks like Laina wasn't lying. Getting out of bed and looking down, I saw my old flannel shirt and cargos were replaced with a bland orange jumpsuit. I took a look around the back using the glass as a makeshift mirror. There was a large logo printed on the back. Raising an eyebrow, I looked towards the screen and it read, "We currently experiencing technical difficulties due to sudden apocalyptic circumstances. Thank you Test Subjects for remaining in your stasis chambers. -Cave Johnson, CEO Aperture Science."
I stared at it for a moment.
"What?"
"Good morning!" I jumped at the sound. It wasn't a voice I remembered though, it was more rehearsed. "You have been in Suspension for 9999999," he trailed off and after a few more nines, "years. In compliance with state and federal regulations, your quinquagesimannual physical and mental reinvigoration exercise has been commenced."
There was a pause. "You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer look up at the ceiling." It went off.
"Whatever."
"Awaiting completion."
There was a knock at the door after a few minutes.
"'ey, you sent off a signal. You okay? Still haven't completed your test." said with a thick, average American voice.
"You think?"
"Pff. Go 'head. I can't come in until you finish."
"'k."
I looked up.
"Very good. This completes the gymnastic portion of the test. Please walk in front of the artwork."
The carpet felt soft as it brushed along my feet.
"Hey don't get too comfy in there."
"You will hear a buzzer. When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art."
Buzz.
"Good. This completes the mental reinvigoration portion. Please return to the bed."
I walked over to the bed, the door busting open.
"NONONONONONONONONONONO!" he said, the fastest I've ever heard someone repeat "no".
"Phew. Didn't want to go through that again."
I jumped back as I discovered the voice wasn't emanating from a person.
"Oh my god!" I tried to look around the sphere, but it kept turning its orange light towards me.
"I'm trying to,"
"Excuse you," the male voice responded.
I never thought I'd see this kind of technology. Apparently technology has now become capable of human comprehension.
"Why did you, uh, yeah?"
"Well last time someone woke up, I forgot to warn them to avoid the bed. Poor sucker's never gon' wake up 'cause main power is down. The reactors ar-"
There was a rattling explosion.
"Oh I see."
"Yeah."
"Just out of curiosity, what year is it now?"
"2132," he said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"WHAT?"
"Woah, woah, calm down, the last time someone woke up was like, I don't know maybe 27 years ago. Anyways we gotta get outta here. Hold on to something. He disappeared through a pair of doors in the ceiling.
"Might wanna watch for that window over there."
"Wait, wait, wait, what if the bed falls on top of me?" I screamed out in fear.
"Oh don't be a pussy, everything's bolted into the floor."
Now that he said it, I just now noticed. The room jolted forward. I jumped into the closet next to the bed.
"The unloading bay is five minutes away."
I could feel the room smoothly maneuvering obstacles obscured by the encompassing walls. The room came to a stop and swung back and forth. We moved up, but suddenly a large metal pole stabbed right through my bed.
"Sorry about that!"
He maneuvered the room off the pole and we came to rest on a platform.
"You can open the door now. I'll meet with you ahead. Just follow the sound of my voice."
Suddenly the whole entire room turned pitch black.
"Shit."
"Don't worry I'm here." ...outside my door.
I felt around the walls like a blind mole until I found the door knob. Suddenly my companion moved away.
"I never got to know your name."
"Jake."
I concluded I was in a hallway, so I walked a little.
"Aren't you going to ask for mine?"
"No, Michael, all your info is printed right here on the outside in a handy little bar code. Age is 184, height 4'5''."
"Cool." Like I wanted to be reminded of how short I was.
I bumped into a wall. There was a spark to my right. It was a cut wire emanating blinding white sparks. Every time it sparked I could see overturned desks and papers scattered all over the place. The exit to the room was on the opposing corner. There were puddles littering the room. I tripped and slipped.
"Dude, I thought they only hired people who met the requirements. When were you recruited?"
I tried to replicate Cave Johnson's voice, "In the nineteen seventeen and twenty fifths century."
Jake mumbled for a little bit, "Oh of course. Classic Cave."
After three minutes of struggle I finally made past. There was barely enough light to illuminate past the door. I felt around. Yay. Another hallway. I tripped on something.
"Oh, yeah, there should be an Aperture Science Handheld Quantum Tunneling Device in that hallway somewhere. The Long-Fall Boots should be around it somewhere. I wouldn't recommend leaving without them."
When I found the boots, it came inches close and they instantly attached to my legs. I picked up the ASHQTD and kept walking. There was a push bar door. I burst through and fell straight down.
"Hold on tight to that ASHPD, you'll need it!"
I barely heard him through my screaming though.
I was anticipating for all my bones to break when I hit the bottom. I clenched the portal device close and tightened my eyes.
"Come on man, quit being such a wuss."
I opened my eyes and Jake was right in front of me, startling me and causing me to fall back, the portal device crushing my stomach, I grunted. Jake laughed.
