So, uhm.. Here's how it goes. It's pretty OOC so bear with me. I thought of this being a couple years after Near and Mello ran away from Wammy's. Mello and Near meet in Las Vegas, drunk xD And this is how it goes.

Matt: 16

Mello: 17

Near: cross-dresser (Stripper;3) 15

I do not own Deathnote, or any of the characters.. (Except Hunny xD) And actually, it's so OOC, I could probably take a smidge of credit from the characters xD Oh, and the point of view is gonna change every chapter. Hope you don't mind.


Chapter 1: What Happens in Vegas..

"Wake up, you stupid fucking sheep!" rings in my ears as a blond menace graciously pushes me off of the bed, making me fall on my chest, getting the wind knocked out of me. "Where the hell are we?" says the blond, which I can now identify, after many years as Mihael Kheel, as he clings a hotel blanket to his bare chest.

I blink and sit up, "I would not know." I look down at my bare chest. "Is Mello aware as to why we are unclothed?"

"Obviously fucking not!" he screams as he throws a pillow at me, "P-Put your fucking penis away! A-And close the fucking blinds. I have a bastardly hangover and my head hurts like a fucking bitch."

I nod and do so with haste. "Mello and I were drunk last night.. " I recall, "Does Mello remember anything at all..? I hardly even recognized him this morning." I bite my lip as I pull on a short, pink skirt.

He sighs, "I remember nothing.. And when did you become so fucking gay?" He motions to my skirt.

I shrug, "This is what I like to wear.. Does Mello have an issue with it?" He shakes his head, though his face shows disgust. I sigh quietly. "Fucking gay.." He says as he rolls his eyes, then after a few minutes, looks at me with anger.

"What did I do, Mello?" I tilt my head, confused.

"What the fuck are you doing with my ring?" He says, snatching an engagement ring off of my finger. "Th-This is going to be my girlfriend's! You're a fucking thief now?"

My eyes widen very slightly, "No, No, Mello must be mistaken. I have stolen nothing! I remember nothing of last night."

"Then why do you have my ring?" He says, growling quietly.

I shake my head. "I do not know.."

In walks a redhead, laughing uncontrollably. "How is my favourite pair of love birds doing this morning?" He says, slinging an arm over my shoulders.

Mello's eyes widen, "What the fuck are you talking about?" He says, glaring at Matt with his bright blue eyes.

Matt laughs, "Y'know, you and Near. Last night, don't you remember? 'We got hiiitched, Mattie. You missed the sexxilicious smooch!'" He laughs even harder.

Mello shoves him off of me. "That's not even funny to shit around about, Matt. I wouldn't even be able to *stand* Near drunk, let alone fucking marry the guy. And to make things clear: I'm. Not. A. Faggot. And even if I was, I could do better than Near. In all honesty, he's a white-ass wannabe whore. I swear, I haven't seen a shorter skirt on a fucking chick. And if he wants to look like a girl, then at least try to be a mildly attractive woman. Not someone that I would rather eat out a hobo that hasn't showered a day in a half than kiss."

Matt crosses his arms. "You forget, I'm gay, Mells. That fucking hurts, dude. I don't care if you're not gay, or whatever, but dude, that's too fucking far."

I shrug, "No, it's fine.. Mello probably is told the same with his long hair and leather." I say after a soon anticipated punch impacts my jaw. I guess I had that one coming.

Matt's eyes widen, "God, Near. You okay?" I nod, a little lightheaded as I awkwardly scratch my head, sitting up. He glares at Mello, and then his eyes soften. "Do I need to call the cops for Domestic Violence, Mello? I wasn't fucking you, dude. You're married to Near." He laughs and points to a bunch of wrinkly papers on the nightstand. "I think that's your marriage certificate over there."

Mello growls, stomps over to the nightstand and picks the paper up quickly, "What the fuck? This wedding is horseshit!" (- Stepbrothers quote xD) "I-I'm not fucking gay! Fuck.. We need to get a divorce. Now."

I cough quietly, "I do not think Mello knows of the difficulties, cost, and time that will take.."

He laughs sarcastically, maniacally, sending shivers down my spine. "I-I'll fucking make them if I have to."

Matt blinks, "Mihael fucking Kheel! You are not involving them! Do you realize that your real fucking names are on that paper? How much danger you two will get in if you do that?" He crosses his arms, "I won't allow it."

I bite my tongue, knowing they are speaking of the mafia. I know I'm not supposed to be aware of that. Though against myself, I did look into Mello's happenings of the last few years since I last saw him at Wammy's. "W-We will have to call a judge.. Get lawyers and buy the paperwork." I say quietly. "I have to get to work.. If you need a place to stay, then you can stay at my house. I'll rent a hotel room for the next few weeks if it will make Mello and Matt more comfortable."

Matt shakes his head, "That won't be necessary. We can sleep in the house together.." He says as Mello scowls at him and Matt returns it with sticking his tongue out. I give them the address and a key and I leave as quickly as possible. Riding the bus, I make my way to my workplace. A lovely, pink neon sign gracing the front of the building reading "Fairy tale." I walk in through the back where many guys are doing hair, make-up and putting on a variety of outfits. A man, though with a seemingly woman-like appearance walks up to me, his pink hair bouncing. "Hey, Nia, I need you to be the cop today, kay, doll?"

I nod and smile a little, "Okay, Hunny. I'll get that on.." I then proceed to dress in a rather revealing cop-outfit of a woman's attire. The life of a teenage, cross-dressing stripper.