Author's Notes: Hi everyone! I've been binge watching We Bare Bears and I just felt so inspired to write a fic for the show. This idea is a study on what the bears would be like if they had been raised by the show's resident Bigfoot, Charlie. I got the idea after seeing an episode that showcased how Charlie is really old, which means he reasonably is old enough to be the bear bros' adopted father. That got me to thinking though, the bears are so connected to people and so dependent on technology. What would they be like if they were raised by a paranoid hermit like Charlie? Well, let's find out :)
Chapter 1
That Thing In The Woods
Cubhood
Baby Grizz, baby Panda, and their little brother had been traveling for days and found themselves lost in the forest somewhere in the north western United States. They were going through a rough patch at the moment. Their latest plan to get adopted had fallen flat when they were kicked out of a football stadium, the box they had been sleeping in had been stolen by a garbage truck, and Panda's allergies were acting up again. In other words...
"We're gonna die!" Panda whined up at the pine trees surrounding them.
"No we're not. Cheer up, Pan Pan," Grizz reassured his little brother, "We just gotta find some food. I mean, it's the woods! Food's gotta be growing around here somewhere. Maybe we could even find some potato chip trees around here or something."
"I don't think that exists," Panda sighed hopelessly, "Face it, this is the end of the line. We've practically been all over the world, but nobody wants us. Even if we find food, then what? We just have to *a...* have to *a-a-squeak!* Ugh...find food again."
Grizz laughed and their little brother silently giggled at how adorable Panda's sneeze sounded. Panda folded his arms and pouted, hating it when they called him cute or adorable or other names of that sort.
"So?" Grizz finally asked when he stopped laughing, "What's the big deal about finding food again? We do it all the time."
"Yeah, well I'm tired of it!" Panda exclaimed in exasperation, "Other kids have parents to tuck them in at night and feed them. Other kids don't have to work so hard to find a family. What's wrong with us? Why don't they see the love in our hearts? Why do we have to find our own food and our own boxes to sleep in?"
Little Bro folded his arms over his chest like Panda and squinted his eyes at Grizz; likewise demanding an answer.
"Hey guys, don't get so dramatic," Grizz replied with his arms held out placatingly, "I think it's a good thing we work so hard to find our family. That means we don't have to settle. We can find someone who will love us the way we deserve."
"But we'll literally settle for anything," Panda countered, "I mean, remember the monster truck guy? Or the ball toss game that was rigged? Or school? No one should be treated like that, yet we get into these messes all the time! I give up, Grizz. We should just live in the woods, forever lost and eating dirt and rocks for the rest of our lives. We'll be just like that lizard trapper on TV."
"Well, the rugged life of an outdoorsman might work out for us," Grizz pondered.
Their little brother took two soda cans and fashioned them into an axe, ready to take on their world. He spun the axe and had a look in his eyes that challenged the forest to try to mess with him.
"Alright then, it's settled," Grizz announced, "From now on, we'll live in the great outdoors and forage for food like our forth-father, whoever he was."
"Oh, my nose is already so stuffy..." Panda moaned, "We're gonna die."
Day turned to night in the forest. The baby bears, having nowhere else to sleep, tried to make due by sleeping on a rock. Little Bro was happy with the dip in temperature since his polar bear hide was made for colder climates than where he had been lately. Panda on the other hand was shivering and fantasizing about having their box back.
"Hey guys, I can see the stars from in between the tree branches," Grizz told the others, "Aren't they beautiful?"
"I can't see anything," Panda complained, "All I see is that bird's nest with the mean bird that tried to poop on me."
"Oh," Grizz replied sheepishly, "Okay then. Do you see...the tree? Yeah, this is a good looking tree. Very sturdy. And full of...sharp leaves?"
"Pine needles," Panda corrected him, "They're called pine needles, and I don't like smelling them or stepping on them. I mean, I guess it could be worse. It's not the desert at least. I just wish it wasn't so cold."
"Little Bro doesn't mind," Grizz pointed out, "He's already asleep."
"Yeah, at least he's happy," Panda conceded, "I guess I can deal for one more night. Goodnight, Grizz."
"Goodnight, Pan Pan," Grizz replied cheerfully.
The two remaining bear cubs then tried to go to sleep just like their little brother. Owls were hooting, crickets were chirping, and every now and then there was a rustling of leaves. Panda shivered from fear as much as cold, and he could hear Grizz already snoring. Panda didn't know how much more he could take, but his brothers seemed so content that he didn't want to wake them just to whine about his own problems. He needed a way to get his mind off the cold and the scary outdoors.
"Think Panda, think..." Panda whispered to himself, "Think of things that make you happy. Okay, pretty heart power. That's neat. Um, also, the merry-go-round at the fair. Like that fair at the pier where we couldn't get adopted. No, that's not happy! Think Panda! Happy...fresh oatmeal cookies from the oven. Just like a sweet old grandma would make. A warm home with fresh cookies and parents, and maybe even a big screen TV. Yeah, my bros and I would come home after playing all day and our mom and dad would be waiting for us with dinner and cookies. Our grandma and grandpa would come to visit too. Grizz would be out in the big backyard playing catch with our dad, Little Bro would help Mom cook dinner. I'd cuddle up in a blanket and listen to our grandparents tell us stories about the old country, wherever that is. Maybe the old country could be Japan..."
Panda then felt a strong gust of wind and huddled closer to his sleeping brothers. He could feel Little Bro shift uncomfortably and remembered that he liked to have space while he slept, so Panda went back to his own corner of the rock. The hard rock with no blanket and no cookies and no stories.
"This stinks," Panda spat as he looked out at the darkness ahead, "We're gonna get eaten and nobody's gonna care. I hate the woods."
Just then, there was the sound of more rustling in the bushes, and Panda gasped as he imagined the biggest hungriest lion jumping out to eat them. The rustling stopped, and Panda breathed a sigh of relief. The relief was short lived however when a big shadowy figure leapt out of the bushes and stopped right in front of the bear cubs!
"AHHH!" Panda screamed.
"AHHH!" The figure screamed back and huddled next to a tree, "D-Don't come any closer! I, uh, I know kung pow!"
"Isn't that a type of chicken?" Panda asked in confusion, "Wait, who are you? Are you a hungry lion come to eat us?"
"No, I'm a- wait, us?" The figure asked fearfully.
"Yeah, me and my bros," Panda replied, "Say, you're not scary at all, are you?"
"Uh...yes?" The creature replied unconvincingly.
Panda laughed, having not expected to find someone as scared and lost as he was out in the forest.
"Listen, I can't see too well in the dark, but you're not humans, right?" The creature asked timidly.
"No, we're bears," Panda replied casually, "I'm Panda, that's Grizz snoring, and over there is our little bro."
"Oh, so what's his name?" The creature asked.
"We don't know," Panda replied, "He doesn't talk yet, so we can't ask him. We thought about calling him something, but Grizz said if we got his name wrong it would hurt his feelings. He's really smart though."
"Cool," The creature replied, "So, where are your parents? You seem awfully young to be out here by yourselves."
"We don't have any yet, but we'll find them soon," Panda replied with forced optimism, "We just have to keep looking. For right now though, we're all alone in the world."
"Yeah, I know what that's like," The creature replied sadly, "I'm all alone too. I don't even have brothers to look out for me. Sometimes I make friends with woodland critters, but it usually don't last. For whatever reason nobody wants to be around ol' Charlie."
"Is that your name? Charlie?" Panda asked curiously.
"Yeah. It's nice to meet you, Panda," Charlie replied cordially, "I, uh, should probably let you get back to bed. It's pretty late. I'm just out grabbing some food from nearby campsites, but I gotta hit the sack pretty soon myself."
"Wait!" Panda called out as Charlie was about to walk away, "You know where food is? Show me!"
"Kiddo, you don't wanna find food where I get it," Charlie cautioned, "Humans are serious business. They're dangerous."
"Humans are dangerous? I highly doubt that," Panda refuted.
"Oh, but they are!" Charlie replied as he spread his hands on either side of his face to set the eerie mood, "Humans look for rare and unusual things, like me, and then they catch us. They lock us up in cages or dark isolated rooms. They keep us forever, and show us off to the whole world! They never let you leave, just like a prison. It's horrible, lonely, and yet somehow still loud."
"Wait, I think I know what you mean," Panda replied as realization dawned on him, "I used to be in a room that looked like a bamboo forest. I was all alone, except for my stuffed animal friend Panda 2, and they tried to catch me so I couldn't leave. If they kept me, then I never would've met my brothers. I never noticed it before. You're right. Humans are mean. They neglect us, they lock us up, and they're even mean to each other. It's all so clear now."
"So you see why you can't scavenge from campsites like I do, right?" Charlie asked, "You're just too small and helpless. Why, I'd be beside myself if anything happened to a trio of adorable young bears like you."
"But then how are we supposed to get food?" Panda argued.
"Hm...Oh, I got an idea!" Charlie exclaimed, "I'll bring you some of the food I find at the camps. Just stay right here and I'll be back in a few hours. Don't go anywhere, okay?"
"Okay. Bye, Charlie!" Panda waved him off as Charlie wandered back into the shadows of the trees.
Panda then settled back into his corner of the rock, but he was too excited to sleep. They were going to get food hand delivered by a Charlie...whatever a Charlie was.
The next morning Grizz awoke with a yawn and smiled up at the yellow sunrise sky and the chirping birds. Their little brother awoke a minute later wearing the same blank look he usually wore, and Panda was still sitting up on the rock. Panda's fur was matted and frizzy from not sleeping or grooming himself.
"Hey guys, which way should we go today?" Grizz asked chipperly.
"We can't leave yet!" Panda exclaimed, "Charlie's gonna be back with food for us."
"Um, who's Charlie?" Grizz asked; puzzled.
"Charlie is a giant," Panda explained, "He showed up last night and talked to me. He said campers were dangerous and that we shouldn't get too close, and then he said he was gonna bring us some food. I hope he didn't forget."
"Whoa, cool! You met a giant?" Grizz asked in wonderment, "Ha ha, that is so awesome!"
Little Bro picked up his axe and looked warily around the forest, not trusting that a giant would be something friendly. If something went wrong, he would have to protect his older brothers.
"Yeah, I didn't get a good look because it was dark, but I could tell Charlie was nice," Panda explained, "He smelled bad, but to be fair so do we. Nobody smells good in a forest."
"We coulda handled the campers ourselves though," Grizz contested after thinking about it for a moment, "I mean, we're rough, we're tough, and we're cool. Nobody can mess with us!"
Little Bro nodded in affirmation.
"I know, but Charlie wanted to help," Panda replied, "I don't know about you, but I don't deny free food."
"Of course not," Grizz agreed, "Nobody denies free food. Those are literally the two best words in the world. Well, besides free chocolate. Oh wait, free is still one of the words. Eh, never mind. We'll wait for a little while. I hope this Charlie guy brings pizza."
With those words the three baby bears sat calmly on their rock and waited for the strange cryptid to come back with food for them.
...
Over an hour later Charlie still had not returned with food, and Little Bro turned to glare at his two older brothers.
"Yeah, I know," Grizz sighed, "I'm bored too. And hungry. I don't think he's coming, Pan Pan."
"Just great, betrayed again!" Panda pouted and furrowed his brows in anger, "Charlie promised he'd be back! I am so sick of adults lying to us!"
Just then, they heard a noise in the distance. At first the Bears thought it could've been a random animal rustling in the foliage, but then they heard "Yow! Yow! Yow! Stupid tree stump!" and knew it was a person. The bear cubs waited with bated breath to see what would come out of the bushes, and the thing that came out of the woods toward them was unlike any other creature they had ever seen. It was probably 9 or 10 feet tall with shaggy grey fur and a blue-grey mustache, and it had the biggest feet they had ever seen.
"Wow," Grizz whispered, but then in a louder voice exclaimed, "You didn't tell me Charlie was a big hairy jellybean with arms and legs!"
"Oh, I see your brothers are awake," Charlie said to Panda, "Hope y'all are doing okay. It took a while for those blasted campers to go to sleep. I did it though. I swiped the cooler. Hope there's something good in here this time. Last time it was just soda pop and gel packs."
"Ooh ooh ooh, gimme gimme!" Grizz shouted eagerly as he hopped up and down and tried to grab the cooler from the much taller Charlie.
"Woah, slow down! You'll get your share," Charlie placated the baby bear, "Okay, for this little ball of fire I have..." Charlie rooted in the cooler before he pulled out "A slice of pie. Don't know what flavor it is, but it has whipped topping."
"Alright! Yes!" Grizz exclaimed happily as he started scarfing down the treat, "Mmm, key lime."
"And for my new friend Panda I have..." Charlie pulled out another item, "A flashlight! Oh wait, no. Lemme try again. Um...Aha! A package of brownies."
"Oh boy, I hope these don't have nuts," Panda commented, "I'm allergic to nuts."
"Oh, well I don't think they do," Charlie told the cub after looking at the picture on the package, "Here you go, buddy."
Panda took his brownies, and then Little Bro looked up expectantly at the sasquatch. His little white paw gripped his makeshift axe tighter, though he was still very hungry, so he would reserve judgment to see what happened next.
"Hey there, little fella," Charlie bent down to get a better look at the young polar bear, "For you I have...a book? In a cooler? No no, this won't do."
Little Bro swiped the book from the hairy beast's hand but still looked at him demandingly; ready for breakfast.
"Um, okay," Charlie fumbled around the cooler for something, but all that was left was a bag of ice, "Sorry little guy, all I have left is ice, but I can find you some berries or something out in the forest. I'm really-"
Before Charlie could apologize again the little bear took the ice bag and hugged it. He then put the bag of ice on their rock and curled up on top of it, happy to finally be cold. Charlie couldn't help but smile at the cute scene before him. Grizz was licking whipped cream off his paws, Panda walked over and handed some of his brownies to Little Bro, and Little Bro contentedly ate the brownie bits while huddling into his ice bag. Charlie only wished the cooler had been full so they wouldn't go hungry.
"Listen guys, I can find more food if you want," Charlie offered.
"Really? That would be awesome!" Grizz exclaimed, "We should probably help you though. We're pretty good at finding things, especially me since I'm a world class dumpster diver."
"I don't know, kids," Charlie replied as he scratched his head, "I haven't noticed anything shady in this particular forest, but with humans hanging around you never know. Last time I took someone with me their foot got caught in a trap."
This earned Little Bro's attention. He got off his ice bag and held up his axe. Grizz and Panda saw the determination in his beady black eyes and knew just what he was thinking.
"But we can protect each other," Grizz voiced the opinion for all of them, "If we're in danger, and you're in danger, then we're safer sticking together."
"Together?" Charlie asked; touched, "Wow, nobody ever wants to go anywhere with me! Well, at least not since that raccoon ended up in the trap back in 1883."
"1883?" Grizz asked incredulously, "Wow! Are you old?"
"Um, yeah, I'm pretty old," Charlie shrugged.
"Like a bajillion years old?" Grizz pressed.
"I dunno," Charlie replied, "I'm not so good with time keeping."
"Wow, a bajillion years old..." Panda whispered in awe, "Are you a grandpa?"
"Unfortunately, no," Charlie replied ruefully, "I'm the only one of me there is. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be. When people ask what I am, I just say 'I'm Charlie', because I don't know anything more than that."
"Well, there's nothing wrong with being a Charlie," Grizz told him, "Charlies are awesome. They're tall and old and know how to find food."
"Yeah, you're a great Charlie," Panda added.
Little Bro handed Charlie a bouquet of twigs to confirm what his brothers just said, and Charlie teared up as he took them. Looking down at this group of little bears with no one else in the world, Charlie felt an instant kinship with these wayward little cubs; so much like himself and yet so innocent in the ways of the world.
"Alright fellas, let's go find some food for all of us," Charlie cried out exuberantly, and the little bears cheered and followed him into the forest.
The bears felt like things were finally going their way, though they knew better than to get their hopes up. Everyone that had ever shown kindness to them had been taken out of their lives one way or another, so they knew this was likely a temporary arrangement.
Charlie felt so strong and confident when he was protecting something besides himself. These little bears were adorable, smart, and most importantly didn't think he was gross and weird. He was happy to have little woodland friends by his side again, but he knew this was only temporary. Everything good in his life had been taken away at some point, and there was no reason to believe this was any different.
Both sides were sure the fun wouldn't last, but both sides had also learned how to enjoy living in the moment.
