Summary: "Lost Moments" is a series of very short stories that are exactly what they sound like; moments that were never shown onscreen, but we believe may have happened. This is a different kind of Lost Moment, more of an interpretation of how this scene could have played out. "Lost Moment: Swan Song" was written by my friend, who would like to be called The Redheaded Stranger. Review, please!
Disclaimer: We have come up with a hundred and one ways in which we could own NCIS, of which none of them are possible because they are either a) illegal or b) just plain not possible. So yeah, don't own the show or its characters.
Death was a constant that stood over their heads every day.
One day, they would all die, and the circle would be complete.
Death was not to be feared, but welcomed.
The principles crammed down her throat in Mossad swirled around in her head. They sounded like they were echoing off the cold, white walls of autopsy, taunting her.
Tony was saying something, and Gibbs and Ducky were replying. Ziva couldn't hear them over the sound of the lies Mossad had taught her to believe, but it didn't matter. It all boiled down to one thing anyway.
Mike Franks was dead.
She couldn't stop staring at the body on Ducky's metal table. It didn't look like him, in the sparse lighting that cast shadows over his face; he looked too old and gray and still to be the man that was once very much alive, the man that taught Gibbs everything he knew, including how to head-slap.
And Ziva looked to Gibbs, desperate to find her rock, her solid anchor point. He too was staring at the body, his eyes glazed like he couldn't believe it either. He looked…what was the word…numb. Ziva almost envied him; she wished that she could spend the next hour or so not feeling anything at all, and then later, have Tony by her side to cling to when the pain hit. But Gibbs would have to handle it alone.
Tony said something about bullets, his voice fraught with exhaustion and pain and disbelief, but the words were fuzzy, drowned out by the snap of Palmer's camera and the whirlpool in her mind, sucking her down…
…and Gibbs cracked a smile that was half grief and half irony.
"Mike's swan song," he said.
The dam in her eyes that had been so strong for so many years finally started to crack, and she knew if she stayed there for one more second…
"Excuse me," she whispered, and hurried toward the sliding glass doors.
Ziva heard Tony's footsteps, not far behind her, anxious and worried. This was unlike her and it was worrying them, she knew, this much emotion…it was shameful, to show Tony these tears that had started to pour down her face without any regard for her sense of dignity. She could almost hear her father's gruff voice in her head, could almost feel him smacking her for crying at Tali's funeral.
She couldn't let Tony see her cry. She couldn't let Tony see her like this—he would never look at her the same again, never call her his ninja…
"Zee-vah?"
His voice was so gentle, so soft.
"You okay?"
Ziva didn't look up, just nodded. He wouldn't want to see her like this anyway. He would run away and leave her to wallow in her own misery, because no one wanted damaged goods.
"Ziva, look at me."
He gently lifted her face towards him, and he didn't say anything at all. Ziva felt a warm hand slide around her shoulders as he pulled her close, just like Gibbs would have, and held her against his chest. He rocked her, back and forth, gently rubbing circles on her back until the tears slowed and she could breathe again.
"He's gone, Tony," she whispered. "He's gone."
"I know," Tony mumbled, and his voice broke. "I miss him too, Zee-vah."
A/N: I hope you like it! This is The Redheaded Stranger's first published fanfiction piece, although she has written tenfold. She would appreciate reviews!
We would like to thank all of the alerts and favorites on the other Lost Moments, as well as their reviewers!
Coming up: Not sure yet. Suggestions?
