"Excuse me?" Yamaguchi Tadashi said through clinched teeth.
Almost as quickly as it was there, Tsukishima's wince disappeared. His cold façade taking over.
"You have nothing to say?" Tadashi asked.
"I don't see why it would bother you?" Tsukishima shrugged.
"You wouldn't, would you Tsukki?" Tadashi rolled his eyes, "Because you are just so perfect,"
"Perfect enough to be a starting member in a club," The second Tsukishima said it, he regretted it.
"You son of a bitch," Tadashi regretted saying that.
Pushing Tsukishima, Tadashi screamed, "I wish I never met you!" before he ran home.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
When Tadashi got home he immediately ran into his room, and fell face-first onto his bed. He regretted saying those things. He regretted running away. He regretted the fight. He regretted it all. Tadashi wanted to call Tsukishima and apologize for saying all those nasty things, but Tsukishima needed to apologize too. Especially since he said that. Tadashi grimaced; he took his phone out of his pocket and gently threw it across his room. As much as he wanted to have a text or call from Tsukishima, at the moment he doesn't think he can handle any type of conversation. Tadashi rolled over, and stared at the ceiling. The instant his eyes began to water, he bit the inside of his cheek. He and Tsukishima rarely fought, and even then the fight was usually one-sided and had good intentions. Much like when Tadashi had asked Tsukishima what more he needed than pride.
He called me cool then, Tadashi sighed. What Tadashi wouldn't give to be called cool again. He squeezed his eyes shut.
Don't do it; don't you cry Tadashi, he rolled back over and took a deep breath into his pillow. He took a second. And a third. Until his breath fell into a natural rhythm. Soon Tadashi was able to relax himself, and fall into a restless sleep.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Tadashi jolted awake to the sound of his alarm playing a loud, but catchy, pop song. He checked the time on his clock, on his bedside table: 6:50 am. He missed morning practice. Sighing, he got out of bed. When he got up, Tadashi realized that he had never changed out of his clothes from the day before. He also didn't charge his phone. Tadashi decided to place it on the charger while he changed, and got ready for school. He walked across his room, and picked up his phone. He started to chew his lip subconsciously once he picked it up. Did Tsukishima leave any messages? Phone calls? Emails?
No new messages
The tension in Tadashi's shoulders grew. Was Tsukishima really that petty to not text Tadashi at all? Well, Tadashi didn't send any texts either so he couldn't judge. Shaking his head, wanting to clear it, he placed his phone on his charger and walked over to his closet. He grabbed a clean uniform, and changed his clothes. Disregarding his dirty ones on the floor. He knew that his mom would get angry at him for it, but he was too morose to care. Tadashi did promise himself to pick them up later however.
He walked to his bathroom to wash his face, and brush his teeth. While brushing his hair, Tadashi noticed that he still didn't get a text from Tsukishima.
Two can play at that game, he huffed.
"Tadashi? Are you still here?" His mom knocked on his door before entering.
"Oh, ah yeah," Tadashi said, walking out of his bathroom.
"Did you wake up late? Do you need a ride?" His mom asked, worry dusted over her face.
Tadashi gave a small smile, "Yeah; I just overslept a little bit, but I'll have plenty of time to make it to school,"
"I see that's – why are your clothes on the floor?" Mrs. Yamaguchi went into full mom-mode as she crossed her arms.
"I was going to pick them up later," Tadashi mumbled, looking away from his mother's gaze.
"You can pick them up now since you have 'plenty of time'," She replied.
"Yes ma'am," Tadashi sighed, getting to work.
"I'll make you some toast, okay?" She gave him a slight smile, and left the room.
"Okay," Tadashi yelled out his door as he picked up his dirty clothes.
Once his clothes had been thoroughly put away, Tadashi went to grab his school bag and his phone. As he walked to the kitchen, Tadashi checked his phone again.
No new messages
Tadashi groaned internally.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Clearly Tsukishima was taking the whole "cold shoulder" thing to a new level. He wasn't waiting for Tadashi at their usual spot. Okay so maybe the whole point of giving someone the cold shoulder was to ignore someone, but to ignore pseudo-tradition was taking it too far.
And still no text, Tadashi exhaled as he continued to school alone. Tadashi arrived to his locker alone; changed his shoes alone; walked to his classroom alone. Once he sat down, Tadashi noticed that Tsukishima wasn't in his seat, or in the classroom in general. Tadashi also noticed the lack of whispers from his fellow classmates. He was sure someone would have at least asked him where Tsukishima was. One time Tadashi had to go to the bathroom, and when he came back Tsukishima was surrounded by people asking if Tadashi was sick.
Tadashi smiled at the old memory, and got his phone out. He decided that a stupid fight, no matter how much it hurt, wasn't worth ruining his relationship with Tsukishima. They had been through too much. But before he could unlock his phone, the bell rang for first period and the teacher started to launch into their lesson. Sighing, Tadashi put his phone away, and looked up at the front of the classroom; the least he could do is take good notes for Tsukishima once he decided to show up for class.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
By the time lunch rolled around, Tadashi was burning to run to the roof and call Tsukishima.
"Yamaguchi!"
Tadashi turned his head, "Ah! Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun, hello," he waved.
"Sorry we're late, Kageyama couldn't decide to between a milk drink, or a yogurt one," Hinata sat down in front of Tadashi.
"It's an important decision, I need dairy to help me set better," Kageyama grunted, pulling up a seat to Tadashi's right.
"That doesn't even make sense," Hinata laughed.
"Maybe if you drink more milk, you could spike faster dumbass," Kageyama spat, without malice.
"Excuse you! I spike just fine!" Hinata playfully slapped Kageyama on his shoulder.
"Um, sorry to interrupt but," Tadashi was about to stand, "I don't think we've ever eaten lunch together, and I really need to go call Tsukki,"
Hinata and Kageyama exchanged looks.
"We always eat lunch together,"
"What's a 'Tsukki'?"
"Bluh?" Tadashi gapped, "No we don't, I always eat with Tsukki. You know, Tsukishima,"
"No, we have eaten lunch together every day since we joined the volleyball club," Hinata stated.
"What?" Tadashi's eyes widen.
"Who is Tsukishima?" Kageyama asked again.
"He-he's our friend, he plays volleyball with us, he's over 190 cm, he wears glasses, he's rude to just about everyone," Tadashi swallowed the dry lump forming in his throat.
"190?" Hinata whispered to himself, before shaking the curiosity out of his head, and looked to Tadashi with worry, "Are you feeling okay Yamaguchi?"
"I'm fine; how could you not know Tsukki?" Tadashi's hands formed tight fists clutching his pants.
"Oh! Wait, I think I know who you are talking about," Kageyama looked as if he stumbled across the answers of the universe.
Relief washed over Tadashi.
"He's a middle blocker, has a permanent scowl, doesn't like to put effort into volleyball," Kageyama described.
"Yes! That's him," Tadashi smiled, soothed.
"Tell me!" Hinata exclaimed.
"You know him dumbass! He's the middle blocker from Shiratorizawa, he blocked most of your attacks," Kageyama replied bitterly.
Hinata deflated like an untied balloon, "Oh,"
Tadashi's smile flattened, "Shiratorizawa?"
Both Hinata and Kageyama wore expressions of anguish.
"Yeah, they completely shut us down at Inter-High, don't you remember?" Hinata gritted his teeth at the memory.
No, I don't, Tadashi thought. He remembers winning at Inter-High; he remembers finding Tsukishima in the bathroom; he remembers the pride the team felt returning to Karasuno victorious.
"No, no, no, this isn't right, look," Tadashi took out his phone, unlocked it and turned it towards his friends, "See my background photo, it's of me and Tsukki,"
Hinata looked at him like one might look at a sick kitten, "Yamaguchi… you're the only person in that photo,"
"What? No, but," Tadashi looked at his phone screen.
His face went white.
The photo should have Tadashi smiling and leaning back into Tsukishima's chest, while Tsukishima looked at Tadashi with complete endearment. This picture only had Tadashi, as if Tsukishima never existed.
"It's a nice picture…." Hinata mumbled encouragingly.
All the dread Tadashi felt earlier came rushing back over him like a broken dam; he felt nauseous, when he looked up the room began to spin.
"Yamaguchi?" Hinata's voice sounded far away.
"We should take him to the infirmary," Was that Kageyama?
"Good idea," Tadashi felt hands around his arms, lifting him up, and he felt himself being all but dragged somewhere.
How did this happen? Why is Tsukki at Shiratorizawa? Why isn't he in my photo? Tadashi wanted to throw up. He wasn't sure if he was still in the hallway when he finally did.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Tadashi just stared. As if the ceiling could somehow give him the answers he wanted.
"I see you're awake," The nurse stated, walking over to him.
"Yes ma'am, how long was I asleep?" Tadashi shifted his gaze over to her.
"About 30 minutes," She placed a few pills on the table next to the bed, "These are your nausea, can you sit up?"
"I think so," She helped Tadashi up, "Thank you Sensei,"
"Here," She handed him a bottle of water, "How are you feeling?" She asked concerned.
"Um… I've felt better," Tadashi grip tightened around the bottle.
Her eyes flicked down to the bottle, "Yamaguchi-kun, if you don't feel well enough within the next hour, it may be in your best interest to go home and rest,"
"I…." Tadashi started, "I think you're right," He murmured.
"When you feel ready to leave, let me know okay?" She gave a tight smile.
"Yes ma'am, thank you Sensei," Tadashi gave a polite nod.
He swallowed the pills. Then he gulped down the rest of his water, and laid back down.
'He's the middle blocker from Shiratorizawa, he blocked most of your attacks,'
'You're the only person in that photo,'
The conversation replayed in his head over and over again. Tsukishima and Tadashi had been in that photo together yesterday; Tsukishima had been Karasuno's number 11 yesterday; Karasuno had been going to nationals yesterday.
Yesterday.
There had been a fight yesterday. They had said some terrible things to each other.
'I wish I never met you!'
Did Tadashi really say that?
'I wish I never met you!'
No, worse; Tadashi had yelled that in Tsukishima's face. He had said it in the heat of the moment; he didn't mean it. If Tadashi had known this would have happened, he wouldn't have made that terrible wish. He would have made a different wish, or not have said anything at all.
"Yamaguchi-kun?" Tadashi's shoulder was shaken lightly.
He looked up to the nurse, "Ah, yes Sensei?" Tadashi asked detached.
"You were groaning, I wanted to make sure that you were alright," She kept a worried hand on his shoulder.
"I'm okay; um Sensei," Tadashi sat himself up, "I think I should go home,"
"I think that's for the best,"
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Tadashi didn't go straight home. Something in him told him to go somewhere else. Which is how Tadashi found himself outside of his and Tsukishima's favorite restaurant. Once inside, Tadashi headed straight for their usual seat; he would have ordered fries, but he didn't feel very hungry. Besides he had to think of a way to find Tsukishima. Tadashi checked all of his social media accounts. There was no Tsukishima Kei anywhere. His number wasn't even in Tadashi's phone anymore. It was as if they had never met.
'I wish I never met you!'
Oh. Right.
Tsukishima had to be somewhere , even if he was a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook.
"Hey Freckles, can you move, you're in our seat,"
Tadashi looked up to see a group of guys standing over him.
"Uh, your seat?" Tadashi had never been told to change seats at a restaurant before.
"Uh, yeah," Guy A mocked, "Get out of it,"
"I – I," Tadashi stuttered.
"I – I – I think you should shut up and move," Guy B jeered.
"But – I," Tadashi always hated how he stuttered when he was nervous; he never had to worry much about bullies when he was with Tsukishima.
The group continued to insult him until Tadashi felt a small sting of tears in his eyes.
"Oh my god, are you going to cry?" Guy A taunted.
"Holy shit, he is!" Guy C laughed.
Tadashi looked down trying his best to disappear as the boys continued to make fun of him.
"Pathetic," Tadashi looked up.
The world went still, because he was here. His handsome face framed gracefully with black glasses, and cropped blond hair. A smirk graced his perfect lips.
"Tsukki," Tadashi was breathless as he climbed out of the seat, ignoring the looks of the bullies.
Tsukishima began to walk away, and Tadashi followed.
"Yeah, you and your boyfriend run away," Guy B sneered.
Tsukishima turned around, Tadashi bumped into him lightly, and studied Tadashi like one would observe their annoying little cousin in public; he didn't, "Never met him," Tsukishima shrugged and walked away again, tossing his drink in the trash.
"Tsukki! Wait!" Tadashi ran after him.
Tsukishima continued to walk away, ignoring Tadashi.
"Tsukki!" Tadashi called again, trying to catch up to Tsukishima's long strides.
"Who are you? Why are you calling me that?" Tsukishima's cool exterior began to shatter.
"You don't recognize me?" Tadashi asked.
"Recognize you? I've never met you!" Tsukishima sounded irritated.
"But Tsukki we –," Tadashi started.
"And stop calling me that! It's starting to piss me off," Tsukishima fumed.
"Please just listen to me; I can explain everything, I promise," Tadashi pleaded.
Something flickered in Tsukishima's eyes. Tadashi recognized it. He loved when Tsukishima would look at him like that. Tadashi felt like he was finding the old Tsukishima, his Tsukishima.
"I'm listening," Tsukishima crossed his arms.
"Okay, Tsukki, you and I have known each other ever since elementary school; I know you prefer animals to people; I know you can't stand hot-headed people; I know that you sneak sips of my strawberry shake when you think I'm not looking, and you give me your fries to make up for it; I know that you love to fall asleep while holding me close; I know that you are clingy when you are upset; and when we kiss, I know we both see stars," The words tumbled out of Tadashi's mouth.
Tsukishima's eyes went wide.
"And – and," Tadashi started to list more things that he knew/loved about Tsukishima.
"Stop, stop right now," Tsukishima backed away.
"No Tsukki, I'm telling you the truth," Tadashi stepped towards him.
"Get away from me," Tsukishima snarled.
"Please Kei listen: I need you, I love you," Tadashi pleaded.
Tsukishima made a disgusted noise before he threw his fist at Tadashi's face.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Tadashi jolted awake, his hand rushing to his cheek. He looked around gasping for air. He was in his room. Tadashi scrambled out of bed to his bathroom. There was no mark on his face, and whatever pain he had felt had faded away. Tadashi looked at clothes and realized that he was wearing his clothes from the day before. Tadashi walked back out of his bathroom and to where his phone was lying.
It was dead.
He quickly plugged it into the charger and waited.
Was that really just a dream? It was so realistic, Tadashi placed his hand on his cheek again. Tsukishima had punched him. Or Dream-Tsukishima had punched him. His phone chimed a 'Good Morning' and it buzzed continuously for a minute and a half before Tadashi could finally unlock it.
35 new messages
7 missed calls
7 voicemails
Every one of the messages was from Tsukishima
Yamaguchi please answer the phone
What I said was awful
Tadashi
The voicemails were almost heartbreaking. Everyone knew that Tsukishima was emotionally constipated, but Tadashi knew that Tsukishima could be quite romantic when it came to Tadashi; although that also meant that Tsukishima could be excessively clingy when it came to Tadashi as well.
"Tadashi, are you awake?" His mother knocked on his door.
"Yes ma'am," Tadashi replied.
"Okay, are you dressed?" She sounded hesitant.
More or less, he wanted to say, "Yes ma'am,"
"Okay, good," His door opened, and his mother did not come into his room.
A sleep deprived Tsukishima entered instead, "Pardon the intrusion,"
"Tsukki!" Tadashi jumped up to hug him.
Tsukishima hugged back.
"I'm sorry," They blurted out.
"Ah, you go first," Tsukishima gestured.
"Tsukki, I…it was awful," Tadashi buried his face in Tsukishima's chest, "I had a terrible dream that you and I never met and then when I finally found you, you hated me,"
Tsukishima slightly tightened his grip, and raised his eyebrows at Tadashi's outburst.
"I'm so sorry, I should have never said those mean things to you," Tadashi sniffed.
"I shouldn't have said those things to you, or at explained why I said it," Tsukishima whispered.
"You can explain now," Tadashi suggested quietly.
Taking a breath, "When I was talking about your freckles, I meant that they suit you," Tsukishima mumbled awkwardly.
"Suit me?" Tadashi asked.
"Yeah, they're constellations, and you're…." Tsukishima trailed off, looking away.
"I'm…?" Tadashi prompted.
Tsukishima murmured something.
"Tsukki," Tadashi playfully reprimanded him.
Tsukishima groaned lightly, placing his head in the crook of Tadashi's neck. He took a deep breath before whispering into Tadashi's skin, "You're my star,"
